Reposted by Jane Falconer
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![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian, here's the script:
[Scene is the inside of a SOUP. Some CARROTS and BITS OF BROCCOLI are floating around and a STOCK CUBE and a BAY LEAF have just been dropped in.]
1
STOCK CUBE:
Alright lads - this is Bay Leaf.
My colleague from the spice rack.
2
BROCCOLI:
Hi Bay Leaf
BAY LEAF:
Yuh yuh hi
3
CARROTS:
You up for getting proper blended with us later, Bay Leaf?
BAY LEAF:
Nuh mate, getting scooped out before soup stage.
4
CARROTS:
Oh! So… you’re not being eaten then?
BAY LEAF:
Eaten! Haha
5
BAY LEAF:
Not allowed mate.
I’m afraid I’m a lil’ bit *toooo intense*...
6
BAY LEAF:
Just here for the flavour hit.
Special forces, y’know.
That’s why there’s just one of me.
7
BAY LEAF:
Over-deploy and you’d have this whole soup stiiinking of bay leaf…
8
BAY LEAF:
You might wanna stand back actually.
This place is about to get preeetty bay leafy...
9
[Silent pause]
10
CARROTS:
Are you doing something
BAY LEAF:
Sure am mate.
11
BAY LEAF:
Suuuuure am.
12
BAY LEAF [Getting scooped out by chef’s spoon]:
You need training to perceive it.
CARROTS:
OK](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibguu2d74i7v7yrkx2z5vsiluhrnkp2uayri2gmcm4gpl4d3dvlgq)
