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Emi Nietfeld

@eminietfeld.bsky.social
715 followers 18 following 68 posts

Journalist / author of "Acceptance" / Speaker / ex-Google engineer / Words @nytopinion @theatlantic @teenvogue @thenation @theinformation | emi@eminietfeld.com

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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
A man in China hired a surrogate in Florida to carry his triplets, then he didn’t come to pick them up. Now, in a legal battle that could upend the international surrogacy industry, they’re fighting over who will raise them. My latest story, 13 months in the making. www.thecut.com/article/surr...
thecut.com
Whose Babies Are These?
A Chinese man hired a Florida surrogate, then didn’t pick up his kids, sparking a custody battle that could upend the industry.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Ambition requires a belief that you have meaningful control over your future. With so much uncertainty today, it can feel pointless to prepare for tomorrow. My latest @nytopinion.nytimes.com ! www.nytimes.com/2026/07/23/o...
nytimes.com
Opinion | Gen Z Fell Out of Love With Work. I Don’t Blame Them.
For Gen Z college graduates, the way millennials lived out their ambitions no longer makes sense.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
I was SO petrified of experiencing PPD. I never thought my husband could be the one to struggle. thecut.com/article/fathers-paternal-postpartum-depression.html
thecut.com
Postpartum Depression is Coming for Fathers
Men are more involved parents than ever, and it’s leading to a crisis no one warned them about.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
My no-gifts story got its first clap back. Thanks @rebeccaonion.bsky.social! slate.com/life/2025/12...
slate.com
Experts Say It’s the Key to a Well-Adjusted Child. I Tried for Years. This Holiday Season, I Encourage You to Give Up.
The injustice of it all will begin to hit.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
This year, the most luxurious kid's gift is... no gift at all! My latest for @thecut.com about the rich parents eschewing presents got surprisingly political. Join me on a journey into brownstone Brooklyn, homesteading Instagram, and "feminine energy." www.thecut.com/article/kid-...
thecut.com
The Parents Who Don’t Give Their Kids Gifts
While most parents struggle to stuff stockings, some well-off ones bask in the blank space under the Christmas tree.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Know any parents who DON’T give their kids gifts? Or who only do secondhand/handmade/empty amazon box gifts? Is this you? I want to talk for a story ASAP! emi@eminietfeld.com
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Annie Hickox @dranniehickox.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
“She understands that people don’t just get “stuck.” They fight to stay afloat while the world tries to push them under.” Beautiful photo essay of a family growing up in Appalachia. Words by @eminietfeld.bsky.social Photos by Maddie McGarvey. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/o...
nytimes.com
Opinion | I Photographed an Appalachian Family for 15 Years
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Maddie McGarvey spent 15 years photographing a young girl growing up in the natural splendor and deep poverty of Appalachia. McGarvey's act of witness is breathtaking and heartbreaking and life-changing. I'm honored to write about it for the New York Times. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/o...
nytimes.com
Opinion | Seeing Those Who Are Forgotten: An Act of Witness in Appalachia
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Excited for Class Not Dismissed this Monday about reporting on class - with the Economic Hardship Reporting Project! Speaking w/ @jiatolentino.bsky.social @alissaquart.bsky.social and more!! It's free! RSVP here: pp.events/bgAA6xxa
pp.events
You're invited to "Class Not Dismissed." Tap here to RSVP - Paperless Post Card
The Economic Hardship Reporting Project (EHRP) is building a media that spotlights the stories - and the storytellers - often left in the shadows: the working-…
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
Would die for @karaswisher.bsky.social's take on this one...
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
Bi sees a model for surrogacy in the antiabortion laws that 'recognize and protect the right of a fetal life.' She thinks that when doctors see surrogates go against medical advice, they should report it to the police. Thanks so much to my expert @michelebgoodwin.bsky.social!
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Scott McGrath @smcgrath.phd · 03/09/2025
A stillbirth transforms a surrogacy arrangement into an absolute nightmare. The intended parent, a venture capitalist, wages a ruthless campaign against the surrogate, exposing the perilous landscape of America's unregulated surrogacy industry. Excellent job by @eminietfeld.bsky.social
wired.com
The Baby Died. Whose Fault Is It?
When her son died in utero, a venture capitalist went to extremes to punish her surrogate.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
A private investigator. Psychics. Calls to the FBI. Dozens of reports to regulators. A million dollar legal battle. A restraining order. An arrest warrant. American surrogacy raked in approximately $5 billion in 2024. What can go wrong?
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
I'm looking for men who got depressed after having a baby to talk about their experience. Please DM me if this is you or someone you know! Looking to talk by Thursday! #journorequest
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
I can't wait for this event tomorrow. all my Brooklyn folks, I hope I see you there!! partiful.com/e/HLgL5MLN3P...
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
I started going to church after Trump was elected for his second term. Looking for other folks who are looking for faith (any faith tradition!) post-election for a story. TIA!
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
I'm SOLD! Wish I were in Atlanta
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
You must read this absolutely gutting essay about DV and the fear of CPS removals that keeps moms trapped in abuse. About PTSD, veteran mental health, how racism hurts everyone. About trying to be a good human and not knowing how @moashort.bsky.social @thecut.com www.thecut.com/article/repo...
thecut.com
To Care for My Family, I Thought I Had to Hide My Abuse
I wanted to believe my children’s father wouldn’t hurt us. I wanted to prove I’d care for him no matter what.
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Shannon Palus @shanpalus.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
thanks for the holiday break reading, @eminietfeld.bsky.social !!
A book titled “acceptance”. It has a picture of a young woman sitting with her legs crossed on the cover.
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Tris 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈♿💜 @starlighttherapy.co.uk · 24/12/2024
Dr Inna has some great resources on What's problematic about Van de Kolk. tr.ee/BfxplAJD6C
tr.ee
@dr_inna | Linktree
Dr. Inna Kanevsky: psychology professor, educatior and mythbuster of fake psychology on TikTok Instagram Twitter
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 26/12/2024
The idea that indulging my 6 month old daughter’s selfishness now will inspire her future charity sounded as preposterous as putting Mountain Dew into her bottles in hopes she’ll love water later. thecut.com/article/teaching-kids-to-share-gentle-parenting-experts-sharing-children.html
thecut.com
The Parents Who ‘Don’t Teach Sharing’
Is this gentle-parenting trend accommodating kids’ developmental stages, or catering to their worst impulses?
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 26/12/2024
In the age of gentle parenting, sharing itself, once the most basic playground skill, is now being called into question.... My latest, for @thecut.com www.thecut.com/article/teac...
thecut.com
The Parents Who ‘Don’t Teach Sharing’
Is this gentle-parenting trend accommodating kids’ developmental stages, or catering to their worst impulses?
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
Thrilled I got to dig into my @motherjones.com story about #thebodykeepsthescore with a survivor advocate. #therapistsky open.spotify.com/episode/3AOb...
open.spotify.com
Guest Host: Alisa Zipursky interviews Emi Nietfeld. What The Most Famous Book About Trauma Gets Wrong.
The Trauma Therapist · Episode
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
Every Xmas, my mom made peanut butter/chow mein noodle mangers with red M&Ms in the center. She declared “That’s the baby Jesus!!” The older (and richer) I get, the more grateful I am for my mom’s lessons in giving. Grateful to @washingtonpost.com www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/20...
washingtonpost.com
Perspective | As a poor kid I was ashamed of my mom’s shabby gifts. Now I get it.
Charity alone would never solve the problems that plagued my youth, but giving to others reminded me that I could help keep people from falling through the cracks.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
Wow this story is like every workplace harassment nightmare come true. I thought I had a bad time going to HR at Google but jeez... www.nytimes.com/2024/12/21/b...
nytimes.com
Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni and a Smear Campaign After ‘It Ends With Us’
Private messages detail an alleged campaign to tarnish Blake Lively after she accused Justin Baldoni of misconduct on the set of “It Ends With Us.”
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Trauma "is psychology’s response to what in theology is called ‘The Problem of Evil’... Like an evangelical healer, a therapists's job is to face evil head on to open the door to redemption, not from sin, but from trauma." Thought about this a lot beiner.substack.com/p/the-truth-...
beiner.substack.com
The Truth About Trauma: Bessel van der Kolk, Rachel Yehuda and George Bonanno
How the mainstreaming of trauma is changing culture
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
For survivors who are already stigmatized and told not to talk about what happened... I feel it's so damaging to hear "don't discuss it" from a therapist. If people don't want to talk, no one should make them, but many of us have been desperate to share what happened to us
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karenkolbe.bsky.social @karenkolbe.bsky.social · 20/12/2024
My profession is embarrassingly prone to faddish bullshit. This book is treated like a sacred text by so many therapists, but it’s honestly done a lot of damage, in large part due to its central argument that *talking* about one’s pain will make it worse. But talk therapy remains the gold standard.
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brynn✨ @fuzzpeach.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
this absolutely savage read
Quotes the linked article which claims that Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, is the "Colleen Hoover of psychology"
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
I really wanted to talk about how the Matisse cover and title of "The Body Keeps the Score" do SO MUCH heavy lifting. You don't even need to read the book to have your "a-ha!" TED talk moment. All you have to do is see it at the airport and you're like "it checks!"
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Michael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
Am I the only one who cannot hear about this book without immediately chanting LET THE BODIES KEEP THE SCORE, LET THE BODIES KEEP THE SCORE in my head www.motherjones.com/media/2024/1...
motherjones.com
What the most famous book about trauma gets wrong
People kept telling me to read "The Body Keeps the Score." I was shocked at what it actually says.
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Kelzor @bloodlesscoup.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
I have to take an annual fire safety training for work, and I am reminded that I asked some of the folks who manage these things how they evacuate the NICU and apparently they have vests you can load up with babies
A product photo with a supposed hospital employee wearing a vest with three visible pouches that are made of probably nylon and mesh, and they are buckled closed like the buckles on bike helmets, and in each pouch is a baby doll
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
“The Body Keeps the Score stigmatizes survivors, blames victims, and depoliticizes violence. While masquerading as care for survivors, it creates a hierarchy where marginalized victims are even more marginalized.” My latest, for @motherjones. www.motherjones.com/media/2024/1...
motherjones.com
What the most famous book about trauma gets wrong
People kept telling me to read "The Body Keeps the Score." I was shocked at what it actually says.
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 11/12/2024
"I kept coming across teens who were in distress about the way they had been created… People don’t always realize they are creating a human being and not a piece of furniture." My latest, about designer babies-cum-teens in #SiliconValley, for @wired.com www.wired.com/story/your-n...
wired.com
Designer Babies Are Teenagers Now—and Some of Them Need Therapy Because of It
“People don’t always realize they are creating a human being and not a piece of furniture.”
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
I prepped as much as humanly possible, yet childbirth BLINDSIDED ME. Sharing my birth story, featuring: premature water breaking (PROM); induction without an epidural; and involuntary, uncontrollable pushing. Hear my birth story on ep 3 of the pod -- youtu.be/_At2aNZ02Pk?...
youtu.be
Emi’s Positive Birth Story: How I Avoided a C-Section
YouTube video by This Alien I Grew
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
“When I eventually made the tough decision to cut ties, I expected that my whole life would fall apart, that I would just miss her all day everyday. I was totally shocked to find out that my life has been so much better since I made that decision.” podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/b...
podcasts.apple.com
Breaking up with your parents
Podcast Episode · Today, Explained · 11/22/2024 · 28m
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Emi Nietfeld @eminietfeld.bsky.social · 08/03/2024
More unmarried couples are moving in, merging finances -- and freezing embryos. But in a country where courts can interfere with IVF, the risks are huge. In my first piece for The Cut I profile women who combined DNA as a form of commitment — only to have it backfire. www.thecut.com/article/what...
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