1. I’ll overheat and sweat through the armpit area of my shirt. 2. I’ll mix up my words and embarrass myself. 3. The audience will collectively decide to mur...

The White House made a bunch of parody video games. We have more suggestions.

The White House made a bunch of parody video games. We have more suggestions.

The White House made a bunch of parody video games. We have more suggestions.

The White House made a bunch of parody video games. We have more suggestions.

People are looking at me. They’re following the fajita flight path and seeing that they’re not landing in front of Sam, who looks ridiculous in his dumb birthday hat.

1. I’ll overheat and sweat through the armpit area of my shirt. 2. I’ll mix up my words and embarrass myself. 3. The audience will collectively decide to mur...

1. I’ll overheat and sweat through the armpit area of my shirt. 2. I’ll mix up my words and embarrass myself. 3. The audience will collectively decide to mur...

1. I’ll overheat and sweat through the armpit area of my shirt. 2. I’ll mix up my words and embarrass myself. 3. The audience will collectively decide to mur...

“As I looked out my window at the haze engulfing my beloved city, I couldn’t help but wonder: If one little spark could burn more than nine million acres of ...

“As I looked out my window at the haze engulfing my beloved city, I couldn’t help but wonder: If one little spark could burn more than nine million acres of ...

“You see, when I was your age, my mother (Grammie, to you) added me to a family plan, which meant that my phone costs were included in her bill. Your father’...

“You see, when I was your age, my mother (Grammie, to you) added me to a family plan, which meant that my phone costs were included in her bill. Your father’...

“You’re going to get the best night’s sleep of your life. The sharp sticks and rocks poking through the bottom of the tent will imprint into your already ach...

“Vacation is all about being comfortable, and nothing says comfort like my 100 percent cotton, salmon-pink granny panties.” 2/16/24 5/22/26

4/15/25 4/6/26

“But Alfred, who was not partial to respecting boundaries and often felt entitled to women’s personal information kept asking, ‘Why do you wear it?’” 3/30/26

“Oh. Well, I could try to grow a beard?” the Beast offers. “It’s just that it usually comes in kind of patchy."

Happy Valentine’s Day! Just logging in for a quick scroll? Take your time. You’re not on here as much as you used to be. Still, we’ll never forget ...

Seriously, it’s electrifying how many third rails exist whenever he’s around, such as politics, or any subject that doesn’t revolve around him.

Our 7th most-read article of 2025. - - -I love my job. I make a great salary, there’s a clear path to promotion, and a never-ending supply of cold...

I love my job. I make a great salary, there’s a clear path to promotion, and a never-ending supply of cold brew in the office. And even though my j...

You submitted some of your favorite pieces that we published this year, including plastic bags, grapes, and an active volcano.

You submitted some of your favorite pieces that we published this year, including plastic bags, grapes, and an active volcano.

FinalDraft.pdf FinalDraft_1.pdf FinalDraft_1_Send_This_One.pdf FinalDraft_1_No_Actually_Send_This_One.pdf FinalFinalDraft_1_This_Draft_Is_Correct.p...

FinalDraft.pdf FinalDraft_1.pdf FinalDraft_1_Send_This_One.pdf FinalDraft_1_No_Actually_Send_This_One.pdf FinalFinalDraft_1_This_Draft_Is_Correct.p...

FinalDraft.pdf FinalDraft_1.pdf FinalDraft_1_Send_This_One.pdf FinalDraft_1_No_Actually_Send_This_One.pdf FinalFinalDraft_1_This_Draft_Is_Correct.p...