Sign in

elfie

@elfbatross.bsky.social
844 followers 177 following 720 posts

that one with the hair.

PostsRepliesMedia
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
someone may need to check on debenhams, think the heat may be getting to them x
041
Reposted by elfie
eva (^_^)/ @eva.computer · 08/07/2026
116164354999
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Arm tattoo of Ainsley Harriott and text that says 'Give Your Meat A Good Ol' Rub'
0387
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Hydration Break
Richard Branson at some sort of outdoor event at possibly Japan, dressed as a big red Virgin Cola can.
4212
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
trying to put make up on in this heat
040
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
going to the seaside, lads
group shot of classic Eastenders characters from the 90s having a bostin day at the seaside
3160
Reposted by elfie
Abbey @abbeyarletto.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
When reality surpasses fiction! Top: fictional forecast for August 2050, broadcast by French TV in 2014 to warn about the consequences of global warming. Bottom: Real French forecast for yesterday, June 22, 2026.
236168307554
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
never thought I'd have to dig this old pic out again but that's 2026™ for you
photo of Andy Burnham when he was younger. He has shoulder length hair & looks like plays drums in a 90s shoegaze band. Oddly attractive.
111
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
i keep calling the England manager 'Tommy Tickle' in the hope it catches on
2161
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
hello. i know everyone's watching the football, but just pop your head outside & look at the moon & venus right now
391213104
Reposted by elfie
Josiah Mortimer @josiahmortimer.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
This Reform leaflet from three Gateshead candidates looks like a timelapse of the same person
Leaflet of three candidates, white blokes with limited hair, all in glasses.

---

**GATESHEAD IS BROKEN. VOTE REFORM UK TO FIX IT**

Introducing your Reform UK candidates for Low Fell

leaflet text:

**ATKINSON, John**
Reform UK

John has lived in Low Fell for 30+ years. His background is in civil engineering, policing, teaching and transport. He wants to bring back a sense of community, listen to residents' concerns and focus on local issues such as crime, roads and streets, and better services.

---

**HENDERSON, Iain**
Reform UK

Iain has lived and worked in Gateshead all his life. Now retired, he wants to give something back to the borough. With a positive outlook, Iain is looking forward to making a real difference to the lives of the residents of Low Fell and to working closely with them.

---

**MURRAY, Arthur**
Reform UK

Arthur has owned several businesses for many years. He has lived locally for 50 years and employs local staff, servicing the northeast and Scotland. His priorities are to see the ward and area prospering once again, caring for the old and infirm and maintaining our parks and open spaces.

---
9363051073
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
GOOD MORNING. Would you like to see Barrymoore's IKEA haul?? Course you would!
3121
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
I still think it's POLAR-neck and not POLO-neck and I will die on this hill of knowing my version is better
2100
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
all these people into the grinch tat are 100% the same ones posting minion memes on facebook 10 years ago
3150
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
the most boring people you know go on about die hard christmas movie blah blah blah every year. no one gives a fuck. watch some fuckin dickensian muppets & get out of my god damn face.
370
Reposted by elfie
Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 18/12/2025
hey man you don't need to talk about my business this doesn't need to go in the paper
Rescued owl was 'too fat to fly', Suffolk sanctuary says

Suffolk

An owl rescued from a ditch and thought to be injured was in fact just too fat to fly, a bird rescue centre has said.

And a picture of a rather offended looking owl
211493236
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
happy to learn that david walliams' downfall will align nicely with my return to work after maternity leave. i've always wanted to be the one who gets to permanently remove all his shitty books from the shelves 🥰
8551
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
spotted in the wild 🥰
24510
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
right, I've decided The Others is a christmas film. any other not-remotely-christmassy films that you feel are christmassy films even though they're really not?
970
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
oh george, I'll never get over it 💔 #totp
140
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
I was 12 in 1998, so even the utterly shite crap I hated at the time I will now declare a 'proper banger' as i drink my aldi knock-off baileys #totp
0100
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
can't tell you how much of a lifelong passion I've had for hating cliff richard #totp
0100
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
just shopping on Must Have Ideas UK
240
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
looking for christmas decorations on vinted. something tells me our beryl did not mean to upload that final pic, but I'm here for it anyway.
Lovely photo of a christmas garland on VintedAnother picture from a Vinted listing for a 'Thick Garland'Third picture of a garland on a Vinted listingView from the loft of Beryl's* unsuspecting husband, Paul* (names made up for comedic purposes)
1265
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
I may be drunk but jeff buckley on bbc4 right now is altering my brain chemistry
260
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
it really annoys me at the beginning of The Snowman when the little boy's getting dressed to go out in the snow that he doesn't put any pants on. absolutely bloody billy-bollocks naked under those jeans. bloody vile little bugger.
2120
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
remember when you were in primary school, doing joined-up handwriting lessons. at peace with your simple world. everything makes sense. life's good. and then one day out of nowhere the teacher turns your entire world upside by introducing the Joined Up S.
3172
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
been binging Succession, now on the final season & honestly if these two don't skip off into the sunset with all the money then I'm not gonna be a happy bunny
030
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
they're just really banking on us all being too distracted by all the chaos in the world that we're not even going to notice whsmith suddenly becoming tgjones
2192
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
your honour, i would say i estimate that i probably think of the 1987 sci-fi classic 'batteries not included' at least once a fortnight.
380
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
who the hell is telling all these instagram accounts thst "Comment 'blah' and I'll send the link to your DMs :)" is a good idea? cos i fucking hate it, thanks.
010
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
can't believe I'm at 'enjoying the last night of the proms' point in my life already, but here we are
5220
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
It worries me that, if we're not careful, we're going to forget all about the woman who was conned by the fake brad pitt hospital photos
1160
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
not to be one of those "never heard of him" people but i don't really know who this charlie kirk is. which means I've been successful at my 'stepping away from all this noise online cos it's not good for my mental health' mission.
1210
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
seriously craving some macaroni pudding despite not eating any for about a quarter of a century
120
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
it's here! it's here! deck your halls, stairs & landings with boughs of old phone cases & charging cables! sing carols of ringtones gone by! give thanks for what we're about to receive - gather round children, it's National Phone Emergency Alert Test Day!! 🤳🚨🥳🥂🙏
1193
Reposted by elfie
Michael Stipe @michaelstipe.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
I can
I can
349171504039
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
I swear every day there's a story about a fucking choir on bbc breakfast
1100
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
i knew there was a reason why I've kept this in my Downloads folder for the past 10 years #eastenders
Meme from about 10 years ago of Max Branning from Eastenders with the words "stressed out to the-" above his very bald head
2141
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
might as well just make this a lazy nostalgia account now
030
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
kids today will never understand the utter thrill of seeing the first tv shows recorded in jan 2000 & looking out for MM at the end credits instead of MCMXCIX
2140
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
sorry i wasn't listening, just thinking about the primary school assembly in 1995 when the head played michael jackson's earth song as our 'walking in' music as a change from vivaldi's four seasons x
170
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
i miss the slightly unhinged good ol days on ebay about 15 years ago when feedback like "amaAAAAzing ebayer A+++++++++++++ wowweeeeee incredible best ebayer everrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was totally normal
6634
Reposted by elfie
Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
So... 23 August. What shall we celebrate? The 13th anniversary of one of the finest exchanges in Twitter’s... distinguished history?
An exchange from 23 August 2012: Marc Almond tweets: “I love Prince Harry getting his kit off and having fun before army duty in Afg, HELL YEAH, GO HARRY!” TandooriConquistador (@electronician) replies: “I BET YOU DO ALMOND YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS. I BET YOU FUCKING DO.” To which Almond responds: “NOBODY speaks to me like that, not even my close friends. You don't know me! YOUR BLOCKED!”
716841
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
ummm? *waves from the uk*
180
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
getting the baby to nap so you can watch bluey in peace
Bluey on TV with the kid from 'girl with building on fire' meme in front.
0100
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
saw some white dog shit earlier. made me want to collect green shield stamps
5150
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
wonder if barry white was okay with everyone calling him 'the walrus of love'. feels a bit harsh tbh
440
elfie @elfbatross.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
not being funny gang but i feel like there's an anniversary for ww2 ending every other week at the mo
170