Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 28/07/2026I was sad when Steve Harwell of Smash Mouth died until it hit me that approximately 40% of the North American male population are Steve Harwell of Smash Mouth. 000
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 12/06/2026The last three decades of my life in eight words. 081
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 02/05/2026It’s treasonous to say that we are losing a war that we’ve already lost. 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 27/04/2026I’m having one of those days when the aftermath takes twice as long as the math. 020
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 26/04/2026BREAKING: suspect arrested in WHCD shooting, resolving two mysteries at once. 000
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 23/04/2026GOD (after drinking water and getting the idea for carbonated water) This, but painful. 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 17/04/2026I was firmly opposed to the death penalty until about thirty seconds ago when an old man started picking his teeth and loudly smacking his gums at the table next to mine. 000
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 17/04/2026I have made the difficult but exciting decision to pivot my core business from ‘having feelings‘ to ‘eating potato chips.’ 120
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 14/04/2026I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: my diary is a fucking goldmine. 0113
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 11/04/2026Y’all out there havin’ AI draw pictures of big-tittied hentai girls and I’m over here askin’ ChatGPT shit like 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 10/04/2026The reaction to Melania’s speech has me rethinking my plan to suddenly and very publicly announce that I don’t fuck livestock. 121
Reposted by Doc HapRex Masters @mastersrex.bsky.social · 08/04/2026I went and saw Project Hail Mary. A guy came in with his service dog and the dog sat there the whole time just concentrating on the movie. Afterwards I told the guy I was amazed your dog watched the movie like that. He replied, me too especially because he hated the book. 281130071491
Reposted by Doc HapToby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 20/03/2026For sale: photograph of Death Row inmate, framed, ready to hang 0139
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 14/03/2026Because I am waiting for my daughter to finish choosing books at the library and I have nothing better to do, here is a short story I wrote twenty-two years ago that is a single 1,329-word-long sentence. Enjoy(?). eyeshot.net/seamus1.htmleyeshot.netSeamus by Charles Ullmann 020
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 07/03/2026This is the ‘creative writing‘ section of my journal today. How am I not rich and famous yet? 040
Reposted by Doc Hapsky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Found a treasure at the thrift shop 2463
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Last night I had a dream that I was beating Elon Musk over the head with a flaming Segway in front of a sold out crowd at Madison Square Garden. 140
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Furiously chasing my daughter down the street to give her a piece of string cheese, just like a normal human being. 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 17/02/2026Pretty sure this rabid squirrel is checking me out. 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 03/02/2026*to my wife, furious at me after the latest Epstein files drop* Look honey, if everybody’s in there, nobody’s in there, right? 010
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 28/01/2026I just saw this on my YouTube channel. It’s incredibly painful, but I’ve decided to ‘get out in front of the story’ before the media breaks it. Please respect my privacy and that of my family. 130
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 28/01/2026*creepy stephen miller voice* they are only supposed to shoot FEMALE nurses 040
Reposted by Doc Hapbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 27/01/2026Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop disassociating. 533055
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 23/01/2026Sometimes I just need to find solace in the classics. 120
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 22/01/2026NATO told Trump he can have the north pole if he assassinates Santa Claus. 030
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 07/11/2025There is a reason I don’t want anybody to see my search history and it’s not porn. 071
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 31/10/2025Please come back at another time I am currently emotionally 020
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 10/10/2025I’ll nominate Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize myself if he shuts up and lets me think for five fucking minutes. 050
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 09/10/2025I’m afraid that I have made the difficult choice to begin charging you motherfuckers rent for living in my head. 030
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 04/10/2025Thinking of starting an OnlyFans for people who get off on middle-aged men eating entire pizzas and crying. 030
Doc Hap @drhappyknuckles.bsky.social · 04/10/2025Exciting news guys, I just found a tiny little quadrant of my psyche that has no emotional wounds. 051