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Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed

Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 22h

Time for this classic again.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Never race a hearse. It's impolite to overtake an undertaker.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

One anti-pattern that I really, really hate is - when "offering" a feature or upgrade - only presenting a choice between Do It Now and Ask Me Again Later. I would guess that 90% of users, if given their druthers, would actually choose Fuck Off And Never Bother Me Again.

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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Circus Performers, by Walt Kuhn, 1978, 📸 via @marisakabas.bsky.social

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Chumbawumba: I get knocked down but I get up again Moms of Irish twins: I get knocked up but I get down again

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I'm at the counter at Mel's Diner - which has the little jukebox controls at the tables - and "I Will Survive" came on. I started bopping in my seat, and a young man behind me asked "Have you heard this song before? I picked it! Did I pick a good one?" Yes, my young friend, you did.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

🎶He likes to keep his fire engine clean It's a clean machine 🎶

Vintage Mack fire engine at Santa Monica Fire Station #1

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I've seen it several hundred times since I posted this and it STILL cracks me up.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

How many times can one manage to load the washing machine but walk away without starting it? Seems I'm going for the record. (In my defense, it's a front-loader so you have to hold the start button for several seconds to make sure you really mean to do it, and I keep thinking I've held long enough.)

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I wonder if the musicians of Burkina Faso have ever petitioned to rename the capital to Latido?

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

So Trump bans CNN, Politico, and MSNOW and the rest of the press pool walks out... It's almost like they've grown not a spine exactly, but a notochord at least.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Never really loved Starbucks' coffee, but back in the "Third Place" days they were a decent place to do some work on the road. And even until recently, I'd still meet clients there. But until further notice: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf* or bust, baby. *please nobody tell me anything bad about CBTL, OK?

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Ron Sexsmith @ronsexsmith.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Whenever God closes a door He flushes then opens a window RS

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Skip “Skippy” Skipperson @yippyskippy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Wait, I lost track, what season of our discontent are we in?

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Wanted to revisit Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency; only audio version Libby had is a BBC full-cast radio drama. I usually find these a bad substitute for the unabridged book - but this one is a delight. Olivia Colman is Dirk's secretary - and it turns out I COULD love her more, after all.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

"Landlord, who are these men?" "King's men, sir. You'd best do as they say. If you've got nothing to hide -" "- you've got nothing to fear", I said. "I know that one, and it's never true." - Mary Stewart, The Crystal Cave

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Phone conversation overheard at a client's office: "Are you close to your computer right now?" "Physically yes, emotionally no."

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Nicolas Hénin @nicolashenin.net · 17/09/2026

Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

A client was having bizarre and puzzling computer issues today; out of nowhere (I thought) she asked "Is Marjorie in the Gatorade again?" Turns out she'd actually said "is Mercury in retrograde again" - but I like my version better and will use it from now on.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

White Sun of the Desert (Yuri Gagarin famously watched this movie the night before AND stopped to pee on the tire of the truck taking him to the launchpad; both things are now tradition.)

Russian movie poster for "Белое Солнце Пустыни", starring Anatoliy Kuznetsov

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Seems like Brecht and Weill foresaw 2026, but even they might've been shocked... 🎶What keeps mankind alive? The fact that millions are daily tortured Stifled, punished, silenced and oppressed... And for once you must try not to shrink the facts Mankind is kept alive by bestial acts🎶

youtu.be

Tom Waits - "What Keeps Mankind Alive"

YouTube video by Tom Waits

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Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 15/09/2026

This is one of the funniest threads I’ve read in ages. At no point does OP break, and the landlords, well, www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/c...

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Although it's been said many times, many ways: In this house we don't throw away perfectly good food. We wrap it up carefully and keep it in the refrigerator until it's inedible. THEN we throw it away.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

My nephew despises the Eagles, but he also has Goedert on his fantasy team. Makes it really hard to keep the hate pure. Meanwhile, I yell "Go Birds!" every few minutes just to fuck with him.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Saw this at karaoke and burst out laughing, had to share. The actual line is "even the simple things"; Party Tyme have managed to make Melissa Manchester much freakier (laudatory) than I ever thought she was.

Picture of Party Tyme Karaoke's version of Melissa Manchester "Midnight Blue", showing the line "Even the sinful things become rough / Haven't we had enough"

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

"i hope this e-mail finds you" ~Waldo's inbox, probably

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

- Lilac, v. To dissemble in a similar fashion to: "You lilac a rug."

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

🎶There must be Fifty ways to lube your lever...🎶

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Q: What therapeutic equipment rehabilitates corsairs? A: A Pirates reformer

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

In the USA we don't use the word "cloakroom" at all. In British novels it seems to have two distinct meanings: - what USAites would call a "coat check", or - what we would call a "restroom". The reader must often choose which is meant. Is it ambiguous in real life too? Could be embarrassing!

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

🎶These boobs are made for walkin' And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boobs will walk all over you Start walkin', boobs🎶

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

On 9/10, I was pulling an all-nighter coding a utility/connector program for a client to be delivered in the morning. I was living at the top of one of the Park La Brea towers at the time; my sister saw the news, read that the hijacked planes were (originally) destined for LA, and freaked out

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

If I worked at Microsoft, I'm not sure I could resist the temptation to replace "computer" with "shirt" or "hair"

Picture of Windows Update nearing completion, saying "You're 100% there. Please keep your computer on."

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I take two kinds of naps: one lasts between 15 and 45 minutes, and the other lasts between 6 and 12 hours. I never know, going in, which kind it's gonna be.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

🎶Oh, God, it's raining But I'm not complaining It's filling me up with new life...🎶 www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVmF...

youtube.com

Depeche Mode - But Not Tonight [From Modern Girls] (Official Video)

YouTube video by Steve 86

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

AppleTV has been pushing "Mayday" at me relentlessly, and I've finally given in. It's silly, but the weird thing is that I was an obsessive SR-71 fan when I was a kid and I'm torn between nitpicking (a LOT) and just grinning to see a Habu on the screen.

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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Reskeet if you think we should be allowed to use big words all day and not just when the Americans are asleep

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Heading out to karaoke at Los Dos Gallos - or, as I like to call it, Cock-a-doodle Deux.

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

At first I was completely horrified - but I clicked through and discovered that it stands for "Cybersecurity Awareness Month". Whew!

Screenshot of an email subject line from Dark Reading Webinars:
"Your 4-week CSAM plan is ready - join us next week"

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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 02/09/2026

Trade xkcd.com/3290/

Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

So... I bought myself a (cheap) sit/stand desk, and I've now been standing at it for about five hours today. My feet are killing me and my lower back hurts; I know that lots of people make this work. Tips?

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

🎶I went home with the waitress The way I always do How was I to know She was with the Russians too?🎶 www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2HH...

youtube.com

Lawyers, Guns and Money

YouTube video by Warren Zevon - Topic

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Mark Anthony Austin @bobafettanhse.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

😂😂😂

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

🎶...and she goes la la la la la She cocks a snook🎶

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Dread Pirate Zed @dreadpiratezed.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Maybe I've grumbled about this before, but: the ceiling fan in my room (essential in this heat) is designed so that if you turn on the light, it reflects off shiny brass fittings on the fan blades and makes the whole room strobe. Fuck you, Hunter. Make your designers sit in a room and use your fans.

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