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Andy Smith

@doitinprivate.bsky.social
84 followers 145 following 370 posts

I have an honorary degree in theoretical math from a fictional university.

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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like the only way he can get inside a woman is pretending to be a tampon
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like something an annoying kindergartner made out of a napkin at a wedding rehearsal
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like a potato the Irish won’t eat
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like Goebbels on open mic night
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like those grapes they don’t put on Fruit of the Loom anymore 
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like the 7 that 6 is afraid of
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like a historian of white history
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like he alphabetized the Epstein Files
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like a boy’s underwear hung on a chair
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10h
My man looks like a trout that’s nothing but belly
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Reposted by Andy Smith
Rob Cottingham @robcottingham.ca · 02/10/2026
You’re surrounded by boozers, misfits and losers And down seven goals at the half Your ammo is spent and you can’t find Roy Kent You’re fucked so you might as well laugh
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Reposted by Andy Smith
Karen Attiah @karenattiah.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
BREAKING: After the Washington Post fired me last year for speaking the truth in the wake of the Charlie Kirk killing, I fought back. And I'm happy to announce: I won my case against the Washington Post. They have been ordered to reinstate me immediately. www.nytimes.com/2026/08/24/b...
nytimes.com
Washington Post Ordered to Rehire Fired Columnist Karen Attiah
An arbitrator ordered the newspaper to reinstate Karen Attiah, who was fired after posting about “white men who espouse hatred and violence” following Charlie Kirk’s killing.
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Luca Migo @victinibcn.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Surrounded by women, lawmakers, and advocate champions, Gov. Maura Healey signed landmark legislation ensuring full abortion access in MA. Women have the fundamental right to choose for their own bodies. Healthcare is a human right, period!
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
@juliusgoat.bsky.social “flirted with racism” like it’s a cute girl at a square dance
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Out of respect, the media will not mention Lindsey Graham’s homosexuality. Out of neglect, the media will not mention Lindsey Graham persecution of other homosexuals.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
While we’re all waiting for proof of life from Mitch McConnell, you don’t have to wait for proof of death to celebrate Lindsey Graham.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsey Graham was a gay man who made life miserable for other gay men, so I’m glad it took him an extra week to die so we can fill Madison Square Garden with the biggest circuit party anyone has ever seen.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
more like Desire from The Sandman
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
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Reposted by Andy Smith
Stephen King @stephenking.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
I predicted someone like Trump many years ago, in THE DEAD ZONE. So now I'm saying this--in the next 12-16 months, we're going to find out if the two machines for the removal of a man unable to fulfill his duties actually work. They are impeachment and the 25th amendment. He is deeply unwell .
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
You mean like the Bible?
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
At no point does this former Republican operative, to stop fascism, suggest seeking aid from his fellow Republicans in Congress, the Cabinet (25A), or the Court.
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T. Greg Doucette @gregdoucette.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
I will immediately do a max contribution to @aoc.bsky.social if she primaries Schumer This *vocalized* moral clarity is so desperately needed everywhere:
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
Because Jesus said to His followers I will make you fishers of men, at first the Romans offered Judas:
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
throwing all your psych meds down the drain, in the toilet, because you’re a Better You now, and you don’t spin out in a downward spiral of depression, anxiety, and mania for suddenly stopping your meds
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
I would love to go bed blissfully ignorant of all this.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
The young Republicans before them were trained on Infowars and Breitbart and podcasts. The young Republicans before them were trained on Fox News and Karl Rove. GOP today is no different. It’s the latest in the Russian nesting doll that is the Republican Party: racist, sexist, hostile to poor ppl
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Eric Swalwell @ericswalwell.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
I’ve decided to go on offense.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
“Feels so good to be back here at The Dexter Lake Club. We’d like to do for you now a tune entitled ‘Shama Lama Ding Dong.’ So HIT it.”
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Jeffrey Epstein was an egomaniac, megalomaniac loudmouth and sexual sadist. It is simply not believable that he did not brag about girls he victimized. And did not invite Trump to partake at least once. And Trump wasn’t curious how Jeffrey made his money.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Trump is using his crypto company to hijack Treasury. Extraordinary reporting here. A great explainer for time to come.
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Defector @defector.com · 07/08/2025
FUNBAG: defector.com/you-dont-hav...
defector.com
You Don’t Have To Let Big Allen Wrench Control Your Life | Defector
Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it. Today, we’re talking…
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Reposted by Andy Smith
Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 01/07/2025
congrats to riley gaines on remaining 5th place in that race
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Yuh-Line Niou @yuhline.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
As we head to Election Day, for folks who voted early, thank you. I know some folks have not yet made up their minds. I am making an appeal to you. Please do not rank Cuomo. I have worked with every single one of the candidates for mayor. I will tell you he does not like us.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
HEY DEMOCRATS STOP SAYING LAME SHIT LIKE "THIS IS NOT A JOKE" AND GET MAD, GODDAMMIT SAY "YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE." SAY "YOU ARE A GHOUL. YOU'RE A SICK PHANTOM OF THE HUMAN BEING YOU NEVER WERE."
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
This has literally never happened to anyone but an asshole. I never met a trans person who wouldn’t forgive an honest, accidental, one-time, I-apologize misgendering. (Cuz I have and I have.) If you keep using someone’s pronouns to hack away at them, insult them, then you’re an asshole.
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Sara B. @saraboboltz.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Happy 80th anniversary of Hitler killing himself in his bunker to all who celebrate, which, as I now understand it, is not everybody
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
BUT THEIR TEXTS
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
@aoc.bsky.social Representative Ocasio-Cortez, I’m trying to think of a better solution to our problems than you’re announcing, forthwith, a run for Schumer’s seat. The media will cover the clash of ideologies that further illustrate what Trump is doing and why we need to fight to stop him. TYVM
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Jake Grumbach @jakemgrumbach.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
In modern history, what is the least popular that party leaders have ever been to their OWN voters? Second place was the GOP in 2009, where their net approval with Republican voters was only +6. Currently Dems are -8, shattering all previous records.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
now do the pedophiles
woodtv.com
GR priest kicked out of church over Nazi-like salute
A Grand Rapids priest with the Anglican Catholic Church was removed from position for making what appears to be a Nazi salute.
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Amy Sullivan @amysullivan.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
Will not hold my breath to see whether any Catholic priests threaten to deny Vance communion. Sanctity of life only goes so far.
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Andy Smith @doitinprivate.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
Joe Biden was happy to break “norms” and “traditions” when it came to pardoning his son, and today his whole family, and Liz Cheney, too
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