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dllahr.bsky.social

@dllahr.bsky.social
573 followers 659 following 392 posts

Liberal scientist! Computational biology, software engineering, physical chemistry. Amateur astronomy.

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Reposted by @dllahr.bsky.social
Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 29/09/2026
Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer xkcd.com/3304/
4-panel comic. (1) April 2023: [JUICE space probe flying away from Earth] FROM EARTH: *JUICE* is en route to explore the icy moons of Jupiter! JUICE: *Wheee!* (2) August 2024: [JUICE flying past Earth] JUICE: ...So which planet was I visiting again? I got distracted. FROM EARTH: Jupiter! JUICE: Right, OK. (3) September 2026: [JUICE flies past Earth again] JUICE: Is Jupiter the one with all the rings? Or... FROM EARTH: No, the big one near it. JUICE: Got it! (4) January 2029: [JUICE returning to fly past Earth again] JUICE: And *which* moons am I looking at? FROM EARTH: Oh my *god*. FROM EARTH: Now I get why we budgeted for so many Earth flybys.
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit — theonion.com/xi-jinping-i...
theonion.com
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
WASHINGTON—Marveling at how his American counterpart’s grasp of the difficult language had progressed, Chinese leader Xi Jinping told reporters Thursday that he was deeply impressed with how much Pres...
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 21/09/2026
i mean, just look at how the populists talked about the railroad barons and others like them. "The fruits of the toil of millions are boldly stolen to build up colossal fortunes, unprecedented in the history of the world, while their possessors despise the republic and endanger liberty."
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Bodega Cats @bodegacats.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 19/09/2026
This is a thread of memes about Kash Patel’s defense of bestiality sent to me by current and former FBI employees. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 🧵 1/
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 13/09/2026
Any time any anchor ever asks a Democrat about Hasan Piker, the correct response is “Piker isn’t running for anything. Republicans have a literal candidate supported by Mike Johnson who refers to kids as cum trophies. You’re asking the wrong questions.”
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
A sleeper :) We Seem To Be At An Impasse Over What $24.99 Worth Of Shrimp Looks Like — theonion.com/we-seem-to-b...
theonion.com
We Seem To Be At An Impasse Over What $24.99 Worth Of Shrimp Looks Like
Well, sir, it pains me to say this, but it appears we are at loggerheads: I have said my piece. You have responded in kind. Yet despite my best efforts—and considerable hunger—we seem to have reached ...
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
theonion.com/google-maps-...
theonion.com
Google Maps Introduces Crawling Directions For Cyclists Hit By Truck
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the new feature as yet another innovation to help every traveler get where they’re going, Google Maps on Thursday began offering crawling directions for cyclists who have bee...
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Rolo roll call! theonion.com/rolo-ad-grea...
theonion.com
Rolo Ad Greatly Overestimates The Social Element Of Eating Rolos
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo c...
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
American conservatism consists of one proposition, to wit: the elderly dying pedophile president should get whatever he wants, all honor and praise to the elderly dying pedophile president 
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The Hard Times @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Schumer and Jeffries Hold Emergency Meeting With Trump to Brainstorm Insulting Nicknames for DSA Candidates thehardtimes.net/news/schumer...
thehardtimes.net
Schumer and Jeffries Hold Emergency Meeting With Trump to Brainstorm Insulting Nicknames for DSA Candidates
WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership met with President Trump to seek help coming up with “sick burns and zingers” for their shared political... Read the full masterpiece
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The Hard Times @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
“This is Why We Do It” Says ICE Agent After Reading Letter From 6-Year-Old Saying “You Ruined My Life” thehardtimes.net/culture/this...
thehardtimes.net
“This is Why We Do It” Says ICE Agent After Reading Letter From 6-Year-Old Saying “You Ruined My Life”
LOS ANGELES — Local ICE agent Mitch Holsen admitted he wept a few tears of joy after receiving an emotional letter from... Get the full story
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/08/2026
“Here, beneath my humble shirt, lies the future of hyperintelligent AI integration.” — Mark Zuckerberg
theonion.com
‘Behold, Meta’s New AI,’ Says Mark Zuckerberg Covering Nipples In Tinfoil
MENLO PARK, CA—Providing an internal update on his latest breakthrough in the smart technology sector, Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg reportedly invited employees to behold the company’s “new AI” Monday...
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Joel @itsjoels.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.
Sorry, I can’t type that.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 20/08/2026
“This custom, state-of-the-art service container is covered in beautiful 24-karat gold and outfitted with the latest security and antimissile technology,” Donald Trump said as he showed off the luxury catering truck, which reportedly cost U.S. taxpayers $900 million.
theonion.com
Trump Unveils New 250-Foot Gilded Catering Container For Presidential Travel
WASHINGTON—Touting the new vessel as an investment that could discreetly transport the nation’s chief executive for years to come, President Donald Trump unveiled Tuesday a new 250-foot gilded caterin...
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Paul Byrne @theplanetaryguy.com · 19/08/2026
Solar eclipse (let's be honest, it's more of a transit) last Thursday, 13 August 2026, photographed from the surface of Mars.
The Sun's disk, with a Phobos-shaped hole in it.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/08/2026
Observers told reporters the shrieking baby was clearly oblivious to the fact that any distress she experienced in exiting her mother’s womb would pale in comparison to the fucking decades of tedium, misfortune, and humiliation yet to come.
theonion.com
Crying Newborn Has No Idea How Much Worse It Gets
MEDFORD, OR—Saying the infant really ought to save her tears for the real shit that’s headed her way, sources familiar with crying newborn Sophia Whitfield confirmed Monday that she had no idea how mu...
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
www.craigslist.org/view/d/cotui...
craigslist.org
free refrigerator Whirlpool model ED5RHEXNL00 - free stuff - buy nothing - craigslist
free refrigerator Whirlpool model ED5RHEXNL00 we've had it ~14 years, it's probably a few years older than that. Works great. I replaced the fan that cools the compressor about 12 years ago. height:.....
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
This is good. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-f...
mcsweeneys.net
A Field Guide to Legacy Media Pundits in the United States
The Family Values Pundit (Divorcio moralisticus) HABITAT: New York Times bestseller list and a weekly column. DISTINCTIVE CALL: “As a man with a deeply unhap...
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I'm sympathetic to people who didn't realize how bad Trump was til 2018 or so, less sympathetic to those who didn't figure it out til Jan 6, and have nothing but contempt for people who support him after Jan 6.
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Trump is talking about invading Greenland and Canada, DOGE demolished the government, USAID cuts have killed 700,000+ human beings, they're speed-running Project 2025, and Douthat sits poolside recalling the horrors of being asked to use inclusive language one time in 2021. Unserious person.
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Ginny Hogan is awesome: msm headlines about why AES won: open.substack.com/pub/mutual/p...
open.substack.com
Suggested Headlines for Mainstream Media Op-Eds About Abdul El-Sayed
Abdul El-Sayed Won.
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Jesse Boehm @boehmjesse.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Hot off the press in Nature! After 10 years, 2,780 patients and 300+ scientists, today we announce the Human Cancer Models Initiative (HCMI) release of 665 organoids and other next generation models! All models and data available to accelerate cancer drug discovery! @nature.com rdcu.be/fx3I3
rdcu.be
A compendium of next-generation patient-derived models for diverse cancers
Nature - The international collaboration of the Human Cancer Models Initiative presents a comprehensive resource of next-generation cancer models from 2,780 donors with 25 cancer types and...
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Oh my god the dietician who is telling everyone in the White House to only eat steak and sauerkraut doesn't wipe his ass.
To O’Mara, the diet is not just a temporary means of losing weight but a way to eat for good. He has been doing it for 10 years, and credits it with turning his life around. At one point in our conversation he pulled up the Bristol Stool Chart, which ranges from Type 1 (“separate, hard pellets”) to Type 7 (“watery, no solid pieces”). O’Mara is consistently delivering Type 4 (“smooth, soft, like a snake”), with pointed ends, indicative of healthy rectal function, he told me. “When you start eating healthy, you don’t need toilet paper,” he claimed. “Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus.” He described a proper bowel movement to me this way: odorless, wipe-free, over in three to seven seconds and “nearly orgasmic.”

“I could have a bowel movement behind a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room,” he said, “and nobody would know.”
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
@whij.bsky.social !!! @drmakimber.mathstodon.xyz.ap.brid.gy
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Benno @benno.au · 05/08/2026
FINALLY www.darkhorizons.com/star-wars-to...
darkhorizons.com
"Star Wars" To Be Dubbed Into Welsh
Ahead of its 50th anniversary next year, the original “Star Wars” is set to be dubbed into Welsh for the first time. S4C and Creative Wales are partnering with Lucasfilm and Disney on the Welsh langua...
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 28/07/2026
"There’s so much more to me than impaling. I paint watercolors. I run half-marathons. I am a father, many times over, all across the Wallachian countryside. In fact, it’s statistically likely I’m a #girldad—and so, obviously, I’m also a feminist."
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You Impale One Guy, and Suddenly You’re “Vlad the Impaler”
“There’s so much more to me than impaling. I paint watercolors. I run half-marathons. I am a father, many times over, all across the Wallachian countryside. ...
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Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I am always trying to explain to folks that most Americans have never met a Jew and people do not believe me and I just need you to understand that the perception that we are a powerful group in this country is intentionally created by antisemites and you’re unknowingly buying in.
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feminist next door @emrazz.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
I don’t care that the Handmaids tale is cliche. I don’t care that it’s been relegated to the dust pile of media only evoked by the internet-illiterate and the alarmists prone to hyper centric misinterpretation. I don’t care. It was written about dystopian theocracy and happens to be coming true.
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Aaron Sojourner @aaronsojourner.org · 25/07/2026
Admirable clarity @science.org
The Trump administration hates academic science funding, full stop. They hate where that money goes, and they hate who it goes to. They want to keep all that money for themselves, to hand out to favored cronies who can help them get elected and to steer yet more money and more power back into their hands.

That’s it. That’s the story
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Very honored to be able to share this study assessing a potential new treatment for Acute Myeloid Leukemia: www.medrxiv.org/content/10.6...
medrxiv.org
Mechanism of response to FHD-286 and decitabine combination in patients with advanced myeloid malignancies
Impaired cellular differentiation is a defining characteristic of myeloid malignancies and remains a major therapeutic challenge. The BRG1/Brahma-associated factor (BAF) chromatin remodeling complex, ...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 20/07/2026
U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week
U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
theonion.com/kash-patel-c...
theonion.com
Kash Patel Calls For Public’s Help Using Computer
WASHINGTON—Urging anyone with knowledge of the electronic device to come forward, FBI Director Kash Patel issued a statement Tuesday asking for the public’s help using the computer. “If any Americans ...
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Qasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 14/07/2026
This is Joan Sebastian Guerrero, the 26-year-old Colombian father and husband murdered by ICE fascists in broad daylight in front of his 3-year-old daughter. He was NOT the target of the ICE warrant. He was documented. He did everything right. ICE murdered him anyway. And yet… 1/2
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Gail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
My friend the Michigan Strangler has died. A lot of people only know the Michigan Strangler from all that strangling he did and I understand that, but that is not the full picture of the friend he was to me when he wasn't strangling people. We used to go to Arby's. Rest in peace, "Chokey Boy."
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geekysteven @geekysteven.com · 14/07/2026
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Jay Willis @jaywillis.net · 05/07/2026
Absolute banger of an obituary in the Seattle Times today, rest in peace Judy
Judith DOORIS
May 18, 1936 - Jun 13, 2026
Judy Chambers Dooris was born on either March or May 18 - nobody is certain - 1936, in California, and died June 13, 2026. This is already off to a rough start. Mom would never reveal her age to us kids, so she would certainly object to announcing her birth year in the news-paper. Apologies, mom. They made us do it.
Judy was the firstborn child of Mildred Devlin and EdwardIn her early 20s, Judy was a bridesmaid at Bill Dooris' cousin's wedding. He was smitten and courted her long-distance for many months. She would want us to write here that she had options. But lucky for us, she chose Bill and a life filled with his good humor, song, and laughter. She would often say to us "marry someone fun" because she did.
Judy and Bill lived in Bellevue, and Judy birthed 4 kids in just under 4.5 years. Obviously, she was Catholic. Judy was ferociously protective of her children against clear threats. Once on a family camping trip, a roaring drunk uncle stormed into our camping trailer intending to scare us kids, but mom met him at the threshold and hollered, "YOU GET OUT OF HERE!" He yelped and retreated, squeaking "sorry Judy." Against possible threats, she
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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
my kind of Jubilee, the Japanese national team vs. 100 kids
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Conor @tiduslaughing.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Can't stand people suddenly getting into fans when the weather is hot. Some of us actually care about fans all years round. Fair weather fan fans
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 23/06/2026
this week on catfished
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Arcane Bullshit @arcanebullshit.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
The most worthy of opponents.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 19/06/2026
“In the spirit of friendship and mutual understanding, the United States is proud to welcome some of the most contagious bacteria and viruses ever to infect the human biome,” said Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
theonion.com
RFK Jr. Hosts Meet-And-Greet With Infectious Diseases
WASHINGTON—Hailing the exclusive gathering as an opportunity to usher in an era of peace and goodwill, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. hosted a lively meet-and-greet Thursday with a variety of ...
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Mike Luckovich @mluckovich.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
@horseysurprise.bsky.social we are all knickerbockers on this blessed day
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dllahr.bsky.social @dllahr.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
theonion.com/trump-warns-...
theonion.com
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump warned Iran on Monday to accept his ultimatum or face the wrath ...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/06/2026
“After concluding his physical, I can say with confidence that President Trump exhibits normal vitals for a titanic behemoth born in 1991,” Capt. Sean Barbabella told reporters
theonion.com
White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old
WASHINGTON—Assuring Americans that a routine medical exam had confirmed the president had no pressing health concerns, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, claimed Wedn...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/06/2026
White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old theonion.com/white-house-doctor-cla…
White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/05/2026
“Dammit, she’s still got her head down to empty out the cash register for this guy, and if I grab the gun when she’s not looking, she’ll have no idea I’m the one who did it,” Angus Helms reportedly thought to himself as he coughed loudly to get the barista’s attention
theonion.com
Customer Waits Until Barista Watching To Disarm Gunman
LOS ANGELES—In an effort to ensure his good deed did not go unseen and unappreciated, customer Angus Helms waited until the barista was watching to disarm a gunman at Highland Ground coffee shop, sour...
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American Rando @owlectric.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
The fascists are connected enough to reality to realize that most of the country doesn’t want their backwards Nazi bullshit, which is why they’re openly rigging the system. Democrats who don’t want to respond are part of the problem and siding with the fascists.
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