Sign in

Derek Asaff

@derekasaff.bsky.social
1.6K followers 223 following 501 posts

Writer. Rescue Dog lover. Bert on the outside. Ernie on the inside. Reps at WME/KaplanPerrone.

PostsRepliesMedia
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
I make Batman kill
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Pitch Perfect
media.tenor.com
a group of young women are dancing in a circle on a stage .
ALT: a group of young women are dancing in a circle on a stage .
050 5
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
I’m not religious, but I believe in the Holy Trinity.
Canadian rock band Rush, with guitarist Alex Lifeson (left), drummer Neil Peart (center), and bassist and lead vocalist Geddy Lee (right).
040 4
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 06/04/2025
No cheating. The last saved celebrity pic on your phone is your therapist.
Kenan Thompson on SNL in a fuschia suit. Text on bottom reads "Oh Snap!"
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
Anyone else worried about that Chekhov's gun on The Pitt heading into next week? "Stand between ten and two so the helicopter pilot can see you."
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
@browsermod.bsky.social, please remove me from your google list. I don't want to be on it. It's confusing for some people and they just block it.
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
I’m this old:
A photo of the Atari 2600 video game console circa 1980-1982 with two controllers plus a Pac-man game cartridge and a Frogger game cartridge.
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Post a ship that's not Star Wars or Star Trek? No.
media.tenor.com
a space ship with the letter t on the front
ALT: a space ship with the letter t on the front
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
How many ingredients can change in a dish b4 it is no longer that dish? e.g. is it still Eggs Benedict if you swap the English muffin for plain toast? What if you also swap the hollandaise for bearnaise? And the bacon for crab? Shouldn't this be called something else? In this Ted talk I will--
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
Poster for Fast Five
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Age yourself with a cartoon you watched as a kid.
The Herculoids, animated tv show from 1967 and revived in Space Stars in 1981
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
Irish I was a little bit taller Irish I was a baller Irish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her Irish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Vampire Lord: under tonight's blood moon, legions of undead shall walk this cursed earth, hunting you wretched mortals so we may feast upon your souls Gavin Newsom: and I can't thank you enough for taking time away from all that to appear on my podcast
040 4
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Happy McDonald's Filet-o-Fish Friday to all the other low standard pescatarians out there!
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
I didn't feel the earthquake. My wife did. My dogs did. The house made some noise. But I didn't feel it. Should I see my doctor? Am I dead?
230 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 02/03/2025
“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?”
The Matrix's Neo facing off against four Mister Smiths
030 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
When the waiter brings out everyone's food but mine.
Notorious turd Marco Rubio sitting on a yellow couch looking like a little bitch
010 1
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Gary Whitta @garywhitta.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
Gonna go watch THE PITT to de-stress.
7964 96
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
Is there a more infuriating facebook comment "like" option than this emoji 😄 from right wing idiots presented with indisputable facts? WTF do they find so funny about anything right now??!!?
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
On the way to the store today, I passed two Cybertrucks & three regular Teslas, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE DRIVERS WAS BLEEDING FROM AN OPEN HEAD WOUND!! Not sure what it means or if there is something going on...
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
Is this Gene Hackman death story true? This is the only outlet reporting thus far. www.santafenewmexican.com
santafenewmexican.com
santafenewmexican.com | Santa Fe New Mexico daily news, sports, arts & culture news
The oldest newspaper company in the West, featuring local news, arts and opinion coverage in Santa Fe and Northern New Mexico.
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
@azalben.bsky.social Both Marvel Insider ending and Dark Horse Digital shutting down. Any insight into what is happening with that?
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Dear Dept. Head: My 5 main accomplishments this week are: 1. So much to do, so much to see 2. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? 3. You'll never know if you don't go 4. You'll never shine if you don't glow 5. Hey now, you're an all star
040 4
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Movie you’ve watched more than six (or easily over 300) times, gifs only
media.tenor.com
three children are looking over a piece of paper that says ' i 'm sorry '
ALT: three children are looking over a piece of paper that says ' i 'm sorry '
130 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Age yourself with a movie you saw in theaters
media.tenor.com
a man is sitting in a chair with his hands on his chin
ALT: a man is sitting in a chair with his hands on his chin
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
If you see this, post a ghost
Star Trek: The Next Generation's Dr. Beverly Crusher covered in a green, ghostly energy.... (she banged a ghost)
030 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Not only is this incorrect (LLMs are notoriously unreliable and will require those advanced degree holders to verify all their output), but it's also just BAD! Why would anyone want this? Why is this someone's dream for the future? Less education, more dependency on tech? That's a worse world.
231 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
What is the coolest shot in movies?
Miles Morales falling towards New York skyline seen all upside-down (so it appears as if he is raising to the skyline above) in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
0100 10
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
You've been murdered. Who do you want on the case?
Darkwing Duck
140 4
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Lee Cronin’s Pablo Hidalgo @infinata.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
Doing Trek bar trivia tonight and am haunted by this article. theonion.com/when-we-invi...
theonion.com
When We Invited You To Join Our Trivia Team, It Was With The Understanding That You Knew ‘Star Trek’
Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, Rich. Our team trusted you with the privilege of proving yourself on Trivia Hell Night. But after last night’s demeaning spectacle, I doubt we can ever go back t...
921220 212
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
My ride is here...
The homemade spaceship (constructed of tv sets, a garbage can, and old Tilt-a-Whirl carnival ride, all surrounding by a nearly invisible force field) from the 1985 film The Explorers.
010 1
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Alex Zalben @azalben.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Reminder that the "He Gets Us" Jesus ads are connected to anti-LGBTQ+, anti-abortion hate groups decider.com/2023/02/12/h...
decider.com
What’s Up With Those He Gets Us Super Bowl Ads?
And more importantly, what are their ties to anti-LGBTQ hate groups?
14659359 659
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
@unverified.site take me off this list
000 0
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
@jenna.swifties.social take me off your list.
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
who's the worst person with your first name? (Boston Red Sox fan edition)
media.tenor.com
a man wearing a new york yankees jacket and tie is throwing a baseball in front of a crowd .
ALT: a man wearing a new york yankees jacket and tie is throwing a baseball in front of a crowd .
030 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
BTW, when people in Hollywood meetings last fall said to you, "let's circle back on that in the new year," well, after some setbacks, today, February 3rd, is the first day of that new year from what I'm hearing. So Happy New Year! (Don't reach out to anyone until tomorrow at the earliest)
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
DEI killed Buffy's mom and Dawson's dad
010 1
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
'Doomsday Clock' moved closest ever to humanity's destruction
211008131 1K
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
Getting tired of weird bot-like accounts adding hundreds of people to random blocklists with zero moderation. I was just added to one for NFTs and crypto and I have never gone near that nonsense.
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
@jsdma.satu.gr please remove me from this nft list. I have nothing to do with that stuff
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
I can hear @mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social saying, "I'll watch a show about apple juice on Amazon Prime and a show about prime numbers on Appletv+, I don't even care anymore."
010 1
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
Use a Star Trek GIF to describe how you feel.
media.tenor.com
a cartoon of a man with purple hair says ahhhhhhh
Alt: Ensign Brad Boimler from Star Trek Lower Decks screaming "AHHHHHHH!" on the bridge of the Cerritos.
030 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
#comicsdna The comics and books that were formative to you.
Silver Surfer #50 from 1991 featuring the Silver Surfer and Thanos on the cover. The title and Silver Surfer are printed in a raised, silver finish that catches the light.
Ghost Rider Wolverine Punisher: Hearts of Darkness comic book from 1991WildC.A.T.S Covert-Action-Teams #1 from 1992Silver Sable & The Wild Pack #1 from 1992 guest starring the Amazing Spider-Man
042 4
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
Titicaca
121 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
If you see this, quote with flowers from your gallery.
A bathroom decorated with pug and flowers wallpaper and gold-framed pug photos.
220 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
How I arrived on Bluesky
Ace Ventura coming out of a fake rhinoceros' anus
130 3
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 25/01/2025
My 2025 energy. No matter what.
media.tenor.com
a cartoon character from south park is sitting down and asking when do we get to eat
ALT: a cartoon character from south park is sitting down and asking when do we get to eat
020 2
Derek Asaff @derekasaff.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
Ugh!? My wife is having ANOTHER birthday! GROSS! Amiright, fellas? Leo, you get it.
020 2
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Jabari McDonald @jabariii.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
Happy Oscar Nominations Eve don’t forget to leave a glass of Diet Coke and the hottest unproduced IP out for a studio exec.
071 7