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David Vienna

@davidvienna.com
591 followers 263 following 1K posts

Screenwriter, author, pasta enthusiast, creator of that one parenting method with a cuss word in the name, co-founder of Ridiculous Danger, co-creator of two teens. davidvienna.com/linktree

PostsRepliesMedia
David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 29/09/2026
Media outlets are repeating the mistakes of the last election by breathlessly reporting on Dems slim lead instead of investigating why their lead isn’t substantially larger.
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@NewsJennifer (Jennifer Schulze) @newsjennifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I think it’s fair to say that the student journalists at Cornell are braver than the news networks who just gave up on their WH pool ban even though CNN is still being denied access. www.cornellsun.com/article/2026...
cornellsun.com
EDITORIAL | Cornell Won’t, We Will
The Editorial Board demands that Cornell stops protecting the alleged Chi Phi rapists through the University's opaque sexual assault policies.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 25/09/2026
If you saw the "Mr. Cool" episode of Silver Spoons when it first aired, you are currently at the age when standing from a sitting position comes with a greater than 50% chance you'll involuntarily and audibly fart.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 25/09/2026
Scored new art for our living room.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 21/09/2026
Just now on Instagram, I scrolled past 26 posts before I reached one that wasn’t an ad or AI. Instagram is useless.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 21/09/2026
I’m at the doctor’s office waiting room and a woman just walked in dressed exactly like Mario (overalls, red shirt, red hat) and she has a cockatiel on her shoulder. You needed to know this.
static.klipy.com
Baby Mario's Happy Dance
ALT: Baby Mario's Happy Dance
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 20/09/2026
If journalist hadn’t lost their teeth years ago they’d be bringing down this presidency over far less than being kicked out of the White House rather than whining about it from an ivory tower in New York.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 18/09/2026
Job interview at the FBI…
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 16/09/2026
Hey, LA people. This movie is showing at the Laemmle in NoHo Oct 2-8. You should see it because it’s amazing, but also because a couple of my awesome friends are producers on it.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 16/09/2026
Trump is the Lee Harvey Oswald of buildings.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 16/09/2026
BREAKING: The Hong Kong Cavaliers will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 15/09/2026
After the Emmys, I feel totally justified for hounding people to watch Widow’s Bay from day one.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 15/09/2026
I want to go on record as saying Jack Dorsey bowed to profit over patriotism. Not a surprise, just want to make sure we don’t forget ALL of the villains when we’re rounding them up.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 10/09/2026
TIL the white suit worn by the slasher Little Death in "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma" is called a unionall and is typically worn by funeral home staff when handling particularly messy bodies.
Still from the film "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma" that shows the killer Little Death in their unique attire: A semi-transparent coverall and a mask made of a large box-shaped air vent.
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Ashley Lynch ✂️🎞️ @ashleylynch.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
"Why doesn't the film look just like the comic?" I don't know. Why don't my bath towels look like a stained glass window? Probably because they're two totally different things.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 09/09/2026
I do not mean this as an insult, but Elizabeth Holmes looks like she escaped from a 1980s Don Bluth movie.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 08/09/2026
I know things seem awful right now, but they are.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 04/09/2026
Grocery Bagger: *grabs my shopping bag* Everything that'll fit? Me: Oh, hey, thanks. Grocery Bagger: ... Me: ... Grocery Bagger: ... Me: I thought you said you like my fit. Grocery Bagger: ... Me: ... Grocery Bagger: So, uh...? Me: Yeah, that works.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 03/09/2026
What gif pops up when you type your name?
static.klipy.com
Schitt'S Creek Awkward
ALT: Schitt'S Creek Awkward
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 03/09/2026
"He relies on me, he needs me. And it’s feels good to be needed by him in ways my parents never did."
thedaddycomplex.com
Natalie Harp's Guide To Loving Your Boss
Everyone dreams of one day meeting their soulmate. But, when that soulmate is your boss, you’ll be faced with a unique set of hurdles and pitfalls. Hi, I’m Natalie Harp. And I’ve figured out a way to....
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Robin Sevakis @jadedsketch.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Wile E. Coyote is doing a reddit AMA right now for Coyote vs ACME and strictly answering through signs, and it's genius.
Wile E Coyote in an office, pointing to a sign he's holding that reads "WE CANNOT JUDGE OUR WORTH ON THE WORK OF OTHERS"
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 01/09/2026
When you find my body, please make sure my dog knows it’s her fault for leaving that chew toy in the middle of the floor.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 31/08/2026
Welcome to the 1980s. Everything is beige. Welcome to the 2020s. Everything is gray.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 31/08/2026
I’m at an Avenged Sevenfold concert. I haven’t seen this much black clothing since the Johnny Cash impersonator convention.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 30/08/2026
Post your getaway vehicle(s)
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 28/08/2026
Just got blocked by a MAGA dumbass on Tumblr because I went scorched earth on him.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 28/08/2026
We may never determine the percentage of MAGA social accounts that are bots. But, I don't think the distinction matters. Even human MAGAs have proven themselves ridiculously easy to program.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 27/08/2026
The father, the son, the holy spirit, an 8-ball and $2 million.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 27/08/2026
My wife couldn't remember the title "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma," so she called it "Killer Lesbian Camp."
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 26/08/2026
Surprise, everyone! I, too, am actually a Robin Hood movie.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 23/08/2026
"Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma" is so far my favorite movie of 2026. Jane Schoenbrun is a goddamn mad genius, who weaves horror tropes, nostalgia, humor, pop culture, and deft camerawork into a story ultimately about sexual awakening.
Still from Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma that shows Hannah Einbinder as Kris and Gillian Anderson as Billy lit from behind as they watch a movie.Still from Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma of the 1980s slasher movie villain "Little Death," who wears a bulky square air vent-type mask and holds up their signature weapon, a long metal spear.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 20/08/2026
Natalie Harp is what happens when MAGA becomes sentient.
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Boovacado Ghost @bavacadotoast.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Waiting for Friday like
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 14/08/2026
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you. Hi, I’m swift moving flood water.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 12/08/2026
L.A. residents won't be able to see today's total solar eclipse, but do we get to hear film bros discuss how Christopher Nolan's talent eclipses that of other directors every day.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 12/08/2026
Following the success of the Harry Potter series, Warner Bros. is pleased to announce a new series based on the work of another controversial figure. Coming this fall: Teen Hitler.
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LorennaCleary.bsky.social @lorennacleary.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
El-Sayed calling out Trump shitting himself to the news is awesome!
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Stop creating content, we have plenty.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 06/08/2026
Is... Is it supposed to be a suppository?
sciencefocus.com
You've probably been drinking water the wrong way, say experts | BBC Science Focus Magazine
The best way to drink water, explained
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 05/08/2026
If strategists want to understand the electorate's shift to progressive liberal candidates, look at Republicans and establishment Democrats like Hot Wheels cars and a Matchbox cars, popular brands which seem like rivals but are both owned by Mattel.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
You can be anything you want to be, so be annoying.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 05/08/2026
Welp, I just learned nothing’s more terrifying than making tweaks to your horror script and looking down to see a spider crawling on your hand.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 31/07/2026
"What is the source of this information?" is a question we stopped asking when social media was introduced.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 27/07/2026
I'm sure there are metrics to prove why all social media posts about recipes end with the cook taking a huge bite of whatever they created and then staring orgasmically into the camera as they chew, but I find it as appealing as accidentally walking in on your grandmother while she's taking a shit.
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Ashley Lynch ✂️🎞️ @ashleylynch.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
I love that the seriousness of Tenet can be defeated by one simple question. "How do they poop?"
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Mark Brazill 🇨🇦🇲🇽🇺🇦🇻🇪 🏳️‍⚧️ @markbrazill.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
This is the way.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 26/07/2026
I’m a former journalist and my parents were journalists. I have been a vocal defender of journalism as a crucial part of maintaining our democracy. And I have never been more pissed at the state of American journalism as I am now. Everyone in the room at the WHCD proved themselves fucking worthless.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 26/07/2026
I was once a guest on a podcast hosted by some comedians and one of them made a joke about a loved one dying and the other host started sobbing because his dad had just died that week and being in the room at that moment is what it feels like watching Matt Damon make pizza to promote The Odyssey.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 21/07/2026
If Spain can crop Trump out of their World Cup victory photo, we can certainly crop him out of politics.
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David Vienna @davidvienna.com · 20/07/2026
Not to be outdone by Christopher Nolan, I will be showing the footage from my last colonoscopy in IMAX.
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