Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 24/02/2026Oh no, the company who built their business on harvesting our data is being harvested by other AI. Please, Mr. Daddy Government, stop the big bad Chinese from doing it to back to me. 000
Reposted by Coffin FlopsBeef Terrorloin @beefterrorloin.bsky.social · 14/07/2025Nytimes is shit from a butt. 071
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 03/07/2025Why is everyone doing hip thrusts at the gym? Am I missing something? 110
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 03/07/2025Philly police get paid an average of $32.60/hour with potential to make up to $90k/year Sanitation workers get $17/hour with hopes of earning $21/hr for seniority. In 2024, Philly gave the cops another 55.7 million for pensions and inflation adjustment, a 6.9% increase from the previous year. 253
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 01/07/2025Here’s a crazy idea. What if we pay people a living wage instead of giving all our money to cops? 1102
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 20/06/2025Seen in a rest stop bathroom. Someone was obviously trying to change their identify. 050
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 10/05/2025Wow cool. The Catholics have a new person to tell them what to do. Can we move on now? 030
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 05/05/2025Had a dream where I went to “metal school” and the teacher played guitar and screamed the whole lecture. No one could understand a thing. 020
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 29/04/2025If your pets had to go to high school, which clique would they belong to? 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 21/04/2025The smoke they use to signal the new pope is actually the old pope getting nice and crispy. 020
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 18/04/2025I see some honeys tonight that should be having my rabies. Rabies. 011
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 24/03/2025Mammoth Grindr is a hook-up app for gay Mammoths. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 23/03/2025Getting in my Time Machine to diddle some people. 030
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 18/03/2025Why can’t we have a good old conspiracy about ancient aliens and lizard people without becoming anti-Semitic fascists? 020
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 12/03/2025I'm like a bird, I'm gonna fly away, Take the head off of a rodent, Put the rest on a honey-locust... 020
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 12/03/2025Everyday I play this game with my cat called "Is He Sitting or About to Piss on the Couch"? 120
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 11/03/2025Hey Bluesky, I'll be in Houston, TX next week. What things should I do? Where should I eat? What's cool? 111
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Me watching Alone while eating snacks and drinking copious seltzers: “Ha! What an idiot! I would’ve done that differently.” 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 05/03/2025Do you have any book recommendations on how capitalism and fascism go hand-in-hand? Essays would work too. 010
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 03/03/2025My brand of petty is I’m willing to get run over when a giant vanity truck honks at me on my bike. 010
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 03/03/2025If you listen to enough metal with songs names like “Masticated Inurnment of Dysphagiatic Soils” and “Realized Abolition of Ocular Faculae”, then they eventually send you a medical degree in the mail. 051
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Watching Mark Zuckerberg fall over himself to prove he’s also fashy reminds me of the guy in Come and See who really wants to be a Nazi. 120
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 18/02/2025Thinking about the Super Bowl ad where they said companies want to keep us sick and miserable only to sell us some fucking online pharmacy. I came this close to rioting. 020
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 15/02/2025Someone started an Eagles chant in the goth club and it felt like I was back in high school. 030
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 14/02/2025When getting into a band with a bunch of albums already, do you start at the beginning of their discography? Or do you start at the latest thing they've released and work your way backwards? 110
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 12/02/2025Tech in America: hey I made this thing. It’s just a prototype and I have no idea what the unintended consequences might be, lol. Capitalist in America: Cool! Let’s make it run the government, our cars and our financial system! 040
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 29/01/2025If your toenail is falling off but is still attached to the toe, do you A: rip that shit off? B: let it fall off on its own? 120
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Proud to announce my new generative AI model, DeepSack, which is the world's first platform solely trained on DEEZ NUTZ. 010
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 23/01/2025This current climate of homophobia makes me want to make the filthiest, gayest club banger imaginable. 110
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Got called racist for assuming black metal out of Germany could be racist. Now I feel like the crazy one because I was pretty sure it's scientifically impossible to be racists towards Germans. 010
Reposted by Coffin Flopsweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 16/01/2025I've heard there was a secret KORG that David played and it pleased the Lord 211631331
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 14/01/2025Accidentally took Viagra instead of Zoloft and now I’m crying with a raging boner. 040
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 09/01/2025Bummed to learn the new movie 'Den of Theives: Pantera" is NOT about Dimebag Darrell. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 09/01/2025I'm absolutely shocked that Jimmy Carter died recently because I thought he died decades ago. 110
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 25/12/2024My house is haunted by people who never got their figgy pudding. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 19/12/2024Quite possibly the straightest post I've ever seen. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 14/12/2024Realized today that Limp Bizkit’s ‘Break Stuff’ is just one note the whole way through. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 08/12/2024Ice-T standing over the body of a slain insurance CEO: “Looks like someone’s claim just got denied.” 010
Reposted by Coffin FlopsGretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 06/12/2024without qualification or exception, the mere act of having billions of dollars makes you a mass murderer by default. you have hoarded resources while others went without and died for it. 201770353
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 06/12/2024I’ve been playing Diablo while listening to Capital Vol. 1. Now every time I hear about commodity value I think of demons and vice versa. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 03/12/2024Got FarCry 5 on sale yesterday and boy does this game love America. You start off as a cop and your job is to return the land to the status quo of some vague country-song ideal of what they think America stands for: guns, freedom and the right to go hunting wherever and whenever. 000
Coffin Flops @coffinflops.bsky.social · 01/12/2024Before you say something remember to THINK. Tuhhhhhhh Huhhhhhhh Iuhhhhhhhhh Nuhhhhhhh Kuhhhhhhh 000
