iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Wait. It's not called "UKIP" any more is it? You cannae fool me...

So. English football is an unsustainable pyramid scheme which steals from ordinary English folk and uses their wealth to bring immigrants into the country. One would imagine that UKIP would be all over this... news.sky.com/video/footba...

news.sky.com

English football on the edge of financial disaster | Rob Harris unpacks report

Football's independent regular has released an alarming report into the state of finances in the English game. Its chief, David Kogan, had Manchester City high on the agenda.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I prefer the old-fashioned way of starting a world war: 1. We want Danzig. 2. You're not getting Danzig. Jog on. 3. Och all right then we'll just go away and ... *Invades Poland* 4. Everyone else joins in.* 5 *Except the USA, who cower on the sidelines for another three years,

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Mei 🪽 @meidotwav.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

treat your body like a data center. consume as much water, art and literature as possible. upset local municipalities with your existence.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Kev's genuinely mentally unwell isn't he? If the Herald is a responsible employer, you should send him for therapy/rehab/both at once.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I pity poor old Willie Weasel. He was always being mown down by an ice cream van or whatnot. I hope that the producers paid him danger money.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Still, we can all be certain that the British government has spent the last six months preparing diligently for the impending fuel shortages and we ... *bursts into uproarious laughter*

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CRAAAAAAAIG 🎃💀👻 @craiging619.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

TBT: Channel 4 journalist Alex Thomson was given free drinks on the train to Glasgow for the first Old Firm match in ages, and got absolutely blitzed.

Alex Thomson @alextomo tweets in 2016:
“Problem is : have not eaten today and hen Virgin started dealing free wine. It's going downhul .”

Alex Thomson @alextomo tweets in 2016:
“New trin now. Train I men. Think it said Glasgiw . Some bloke yelled get in. Or on. No free wine now so something is def wrong .”

Alex Thomson @alextomo tweets in 2016:
“I am I. Troy! Or Coy? Sounded like it Really .
The woman just said on the tannoy. I deman a wood horse .now.”

Alex Thomson @alextomo tweets in 2016:
“@aberquine some woman gave me 4 Jaffa cakes near the loo. That but I remmor”

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Luke BOO 👻 ber @coolhand.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I have no idea if this is true but the collage kills me

A black lemur in a leafy tree with its mouth open as if singing, beside an inset photo of Pavarotti striking a similar pose. Text reads: “New research shows lemurs use operatic techniques when they sing, to reach high notes.” Classic FM.

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Drivelsieve @drivelsieve.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Tales of the Unexpected

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Hahahaha! Hahaha! Ha! Will you look at the state of thae tragic auld loser weirdoes! Hahahahaha!

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Because if it matters to you, it matters to Digby, the chubby aide de camp of Spacefleet's Dan Dare.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Smørrebrød-eating surrender monkeys. Now, Scotland must annexe the Faroes, while they're weak.

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Spookably UnAwake @lamentablyawake.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It's all on you, members of the British public, to solve the climate crisis, and I'm giving you 43p each to do so.

Headline: British people understand the climate crisis threat. Today I’m empowering them to tackle it - Andy Burnham

[Photo of Andy Burnham, a middle aged white man with brown hair wearing a black shirt]

Subhead: With nearly £30m of funding, I’m giving communities power over local energy. They know the gravity of global heating, and they want to be part of the solution

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Graveyards (obvs) Crabs. Balgay Park. Forkie-tailies Carbon monoxide suffocation in a caravan. The mites I once found infesting a forgotten bag of flour. The chained-up swings on Sunday. Swallowing glass. Daleks (obvs)

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I approve of Two-tone. I admire Mr. Weebl. Capybaras remain an obsession. 5/5 VG.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Being bitten by an adder. Rabies. The TV set exploding due to a lightning strike on the aerial. Strange men offering access to puppies. Cats caterwauling in the dead of night. Not being cleverer than every other child in the school. Lightsabre mutilation. Semolina.

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Claire Cullingworth @ccullingworth.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

This made me smile, attached to an ordinary cast iron drainpipe on a house in Durham. #TinyJoys

A cast iron drain pipe going down the side of a white-painted house. A crest of red feathers and a bright orange beak made from something solid have been attached around it. It looks remarkably like "Feathers McGraw", the evil criminal penguin from The Wrong Trousers.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

With Britain looking increasingly like a failed state, incapable of good government, this process is entirely natural. The next question is: Will Westminster allow peaceful and democratic exits?

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Feeks! Injected! And all was well again.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Things I was frightened of as a child: Nuclear Armageddon Quicksand Spiders, but only the big, long-legged sort Private Godfrey off of Dad's Army Public speaking Having my brake cables cut by a villain Raggety off of Rupert the Bear Itchy coos The feeks

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

This seems to be ... suboptimal.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

An event which happened six hundred and forty-three years before Britain was created had, ipso facto, no impact on British history whatsoever. So very tired of this shite now...

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

It'll be another miserable Winter of cold homes and failing businesses due to expensive energy. Don't blame Putin/the USA/Iran as taught. Blame instead the many decades of British misgovernment that left us so exposed to gas prices.

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John Swinney @johnswinney.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

For the first time since 2014, a British Prime Minister has accepted that a referendum should take place when there is majority support for independence, as is the case in Northern Ireland. I have written to him to discuss how we turn that principle into a legal mechanism.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

The Alba Party was an early warning of how elderly and senescent people's minds can be broken by too much online activity. Thankfully, it failed quickly and comically and disastrously. But its successors will keep coming. They will keep coming...

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Some extra privacy for being a longstanding admirer of the Smiths would be greatly appreciated too.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

As a longstanding admirer of the Proclaimers (both albums) I would like to request some privacy at this difficult time.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

If only they'd normalised the Spanish pronunciation of "jaguar". Hagwar. Hagwar-Lant-Rovĕr THEN their clunky, overlarge and ugly motorvehicles might've been competitive...

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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Today’s poem is called ‘Morrissey’s Fridge’.

Morrissey’s Fridge

Morrissey
was filled
with sudden
self-doubt,

as he shut
his fridge door –
did the light
never go out?

Brian Bilston

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Ah. The Mirror Universe's version of Radio Free Europe, then? The USA will not recover its authority in any of our lifetimes.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Because if it matters to you, it matters to Digby Jones, the crossbencher peer. Who received his seat-for-life in the British legisature for undisclosed favours to several British prime ministers.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Danger Mouse The Adventure Game Police Squad! Taggart Red Dwarf series I to V. The Trap Door The Granada TV Sherlock Holmes Think of a Number Jigsaw Restless Natives Once Upon a Time... Man Deep Space Nine Fawlty Towers M*A*S*H

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

"Frogmella Chlamydia Elizabeth von Schleswig-Holstein-Gottorp-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Woking."

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

For a year or so, my local Evri drone "hid" parcels under the doormat, up to the size of a shoebox...

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

This one is a glass item from Ebay. I must trust that the seller packed it VERY carefully.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

After dropping it from a first floor window, apparently.

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Robert @clatchardcraig.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

This never fails to sound like a blackmail threat.

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