iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 16/09/2026

SAY “MY CALL IS IMPORTANT TO YOU” AGAIN. SAY “MY CALL IS IMPORTANT TO YOU” AGAIN, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SAY “MY CALL IS IMPORTANT TO YOU” ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 18/06/2026

June 14 marked the 80th birthday of Donald J. Trump, a regrettable milestone made worse by the fact that he was still alive to celebrate it. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/june-18-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

No birthday for old pedophiles

Gonzo Report 153

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 17/06/2026

Sounds like somebody has a bad case of Obama Derangement Syndrome with a comorbidity of Biden Derangement Syndrome with a comorbidity of being an absolutely insufferable fucking asshole. newrepublic.com/post/211977/...

newrepublic.com

Trump Calls Obama a “Son of a B*tch” After Disastrous Iran Deal Leaked

Donald Trump bragged about Barack Obama’s supposed stupidity despite his own deal with Iran being significantly worse.

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Dare Obasanjo @carnage4life.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

If you’d told me on January 7th 2021 that everyone in this picture would be pardoned and be paid $1 million each for reparations, I’d have said you were insane. It turns out that it’s American voters that are insane.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Libraries are the OG data centers. 👍🏻

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

COMING AT YOU LIVE THIS SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! AN ALL-AMERIKKKAN ASS KICKIN’ AT THE WHITE SUPREMACY WHITE TRASH WHITE HOUSE! FREE CRIMINAL PARDON WITH EVERY PURCHASE OF $1 MILLION OR MORE!

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Oh, to be so lucky as to have President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho sitting in the Oval Office instead

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Oh, to be so lucky as to have President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho sitting in the Oval Office instead

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

COMING AT YOU LIVE THIS SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! AN ALL-AMERIKKKAN ASS KICKIN’ AT THE WHITE SUPREMACY WHITE TRASH WHITE HOUSE! FREE CRIMINAL PARDON WITH EVERY PURCHASE OF $1 MILLION OR MORE!

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

It is settled. I’m officially starting a Dead Kennedys cover band and changing the lyrics to “Space Nazis Fuck Off.”

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

This would explain so much.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Pretty rich coming from a guy who invites his friend Stephen Miller over to feast on live mice. Is it real or rumor? Thing is, it’s believable. (Just not the having a friend part.)

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Love that one song…what’s it called…I don’t actually know because I don’t listen to Nazi trash.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

I’m all for Nuremberg 2028.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 29/05/2026

Ok but I’m gonna need you to hug that little guy for me like right now cuz DEAR GOD

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

Why thank you, kind sir. *tips hat*

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

Oh dear god, here is me, melting 🫠❤️

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

Damn, a move to Argentina is on the nose!

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

CBS = Cunts, Bastards, and Shitheads

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

I so badly want someone from the media to ask him about tent stakes.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

If ever there was someone deserving of ass cancer, it’s this little infected rectal polyp.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/05/2026

Oh look, it’s the lil’ Nazi who couldn’t.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 07/05/2026

Independent journalists don't have algorithms on our side—we have YOU. Reposting our work gives corporate media the finger. You’re the megaphone and distribution network we can’t survive without. Please reshare our work. To us, it means everything. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/may-7-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Gonzo Report 149 – May 7, 2026

Take away our meds. Label us all terrorists. Let's see how that works out for you.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 07/05/2026

Honestly, it's the mood on the ground in every other state, too.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 07/05/2026

Take away our meds. Label us all terrorists. Let's see how that works out for you. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/may-7-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Gonzo Report 149 – May 7, 2026

Take away our meds. Label us all terrorists. Let's see how that works out for you.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 06/05/2026

If you've been waiting for lead-based paint to make a comeback, this might just be your lucky year, kid. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/may-6-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Gonzo Report 148 – May 6, 2026

If you've been waiting for lead-based paint to make a comeback, this might just be your lucky year, kid.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 04/05/2026

I’m not a fan of Sunday, the way it signals the end of an over-too-soon weekend then just hands you over to Monday like a fucking kidnap victim in a poorly planned hostage exchange. Deeply, profoundly rude. Hard pass. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/may-3-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

May 3, 2026: Weekend update: Cliffs notes for doomscrollers

Gonzo Report 147

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 04/05/2026

How do you feel about Sundays? I’m not a fan—the way it signals the end of an over-too-soon weekend then just hands you over to Monday like a fucking kidnap victim in a poorly planned hostage exchange? Deeply, profoundly rude. Hard pass. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/may-3-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

May 3, 2026: Weekend update: Cliffs notes for doomscrollers

Gonzo Report 147

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Rep. Justin J. Pearson @justinjpearson.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Trump just said that he and Bill Lee are determined to eliminate our representation in Congress. District 9 is the ONLY Democratic and ONLY Black-majority congressional district in Tennessee. This is a direct attack on Black political power and our community in Memphis. We’re not backing down!

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 28/04/2026

It’s a damn good question. We’ll get answers eventually. They’re too incompetent to hide their secrets for long.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

I’ve seen Broadway productions that were less staged.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

I mean, who hasn’t, right?

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

i once staged an assassination attempt on my life bc i wanted to build a larger dining room in my house so i get it, bro

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

I’ve said it many, many times before and I’ll keep saying it as long as he keeps opening his big, dumb mouth: traitorous slob John Fetterman can fuck all the way off into the sun.

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Jana Warrior Angel @janabw81.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think I’d be quite so jovial minutes after an assassination attempt.

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David Rothkopf @djrothkopf.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

I have an ideas to cut back on political violence: hold accountable the political leaders who promote violence, pardon and praise violent thugs, and accelerate the distribution of guns in our society. Trump owns this violence. He is its primary author.

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MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 26/04/2026

Candid photograph of Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth after walking out of a press briefing by President Donald Trump at the White House, following a shooting incident during the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, in Washington, D.C. 📸 REUTERS/Kylie Cooper

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

Dear Dana Bash, Go fuck yourself, you complicit piece of shit. Sincerely, All of us

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

But to be clear, sure, anything is possible. I just think it says a lot that the vast majority of us immediately call bullshit rather than believe that der Führer isn’t behind something like this. Regardless, Butler was some staged bullshit and I’ll never be convinced otherwise.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

Call it intuition or pattern recognition, but I’ll believe any narrative this regime pushes the day that monkeys fly outta my ass.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

For those wondering how someone with bad intentions could get that close to Trump despite Secret Service protection and law enforcement coordination, the answer is simple: it’s easy for this to happen when you orchestrate the entire charade, exactly as you did the first and second time.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 26/04/2026

Bummer. I looked forward to watching the White House Correspondents’ Dinner tonight, but turns out, it was just a rerun.

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 17/04/2026

Never thought I'd write a newsletter that mentioned dead raccoon dicks, but here we are. This used to be a serious newsletter. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/apr-16-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Never thought I'd write a newsletter that mentioned dead raccoon dicks, but here we are

Gonzo Report #145

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 17/04/2026

Never thought I'd write a newsletter that mentioned dead raccoon dicks, but here we are. This used to be a serious newsletter. gonzoreport.substack.com/p/apr-16-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Never thought I'd write a newsletter that mentioned dead raccoon dicks, but here we are

Gonzo Report #145

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Chris Zappa @chriszappa.com · 06/04/2026

What do you get when you mix toxic landfill runoff and excess grease trap waste from a Mar-a-Lago buffet with whatever septic detritus lies at the bottom of Steve Bannon's laundry hamper? gonzoreport.substack.com/p/apr-5-2026

gonzoreport.substack.com

Wham. Bam. Fuck you, Pam.

Gonzo Report #144

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Minnesota 50501 @mn50501.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Have you ever wondered what it's like inside the Whipple Detention Center? Well, Brandon Siguenza explains his experience being detained there (and it's really gross).

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Nick Benson @ottergoose.net · 08/04/2026

Over the past few weeks, the UMD Bulldogs, Merrimack Warriors, Wisconsin Badgers, Texas Longhorns, and Santa Clara Broncos, all flew their teams on this particular jet - Eastern Air Express's N808TJ. Today it flew shackled ICE detainees between Texas, Nebraska, Minnesota, and Louisiana. 🧵

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