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Christopher Surname-Pending

@chrisopotamia.bsky.social
88 followers 30 following 60 posts

Writer, comedian, frequent TV game show question writer. Part time slut. Creator of “Christopher Doesn’t Live Here Anymore”, one third of “Dirty Little Horror”. “Great legs and wild insecurity in a delightfully spiralling package.” -Geirdís Björnsdottír

PostsRepliesMedia
Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I’m currently filled with so many farts I’m starting to suspect a witch’s curse. Like oh my god get OUT of me
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
On Friday I left an annoying chore for “Future Christopher” to deal with, and he just found it. Future Christopher is pissed
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
Me, bravest man in the world: “Return to Silent Hill is better than The Brutalist” (I have never seen The Brutalist but I loved R2SH in spite of literally everything about it)
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Light Treason News @lighttreasonnews.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
Name another show that talks about the Epstein files AND The Moment. We’ll wait. Honestly, there are probably others, but listen to this one too! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l... @allisonkilkenny.bsky.social @chrisopotamia.bsky.social
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Light Treason News @lighttreasonnews.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Not to freak you out or anything, but on today’s ep @allisonkilkenny.bsky.social and @chrisopotamia.bsky.social are…optimistic? Cheney died! ✨ Zohran won! ✨ Also, we chat about Frankenstein, Regretting You, Blue Moon, and The Mastermind Listen 🎧: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
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Light Treason News @lighttreasonnews.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
Get ready to drink up some pop culture and name your panic attack… ✨ Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning ✨ Final Destination Bloodlines ✨ Clown in a Cornfield 🤡 With @allisonkilkenny.bsky.social and @chrisopotamia.bsky.social podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
podcasts.apple.com
(5/25/25): Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning, Final Destination Bloodlines, Clown in a Cornfield
Podcast Episode · Light Treason News · 05/25/2025 · 1h 7m
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
I need characters in tv shows to stop popping champagne that spills everywhere because you’re pouring and dancing and wooing but last episode you specifically said people should always take their shoes off at the door so now all I can think about is your Veuve-soaked socks
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
It’s that time of year, a newish tradition when my sister and I troll each other by sending the most unctuous, sappy Mother’s Day gift ads with captions like “omg should we?” “one each?” “she deserves it and more” and we both hurt each other’s feelings AND heal a bit It’s like emotional backburning
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Dirty Little Horror @dirtyhorrorpod.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
FUUUUCKK
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Light Treason News @lighttreasonnews.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
Today! Allison and Christopher discuss nightmares, Olly Alexander, and rec Mickey 17 (especially compared to the Russo Bros,) sort of Paddington in Peru (only because most kids' films suck,) The Parenting and Footrot Flats: The Dog's Tale @allisonkilkenny.bsky.social @chrisopotamia.bsky.social
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
Oh to be needed by a man as much as CVS needs me to tell them how they did
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
I’m keeping a tally of how many times I reflexively open TikTok and then go “…oh, right” Eleven and counting
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💀spooky eunuch™🕸️ @dommedeluise.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
[guy who spent his entire life calling his friends "gay" for having a feeling that wasn't anger] its an epidemic of male loneliness
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
Can TVs shut the fuck up? The second you stop pressing buttons on the remote some bullshit starts autoplaying. I’ve already got friends with PTSD who fill every moment of quiet with chatter, I don’t need an appliance to do it
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Bec Shaw @brocklesnitch.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
I’m going to start saying YUCK YUCK loudly and backing away if anyone tries to show me something they’ve done with ChatGPT or AI
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 05/01/2025
When you have the kind of ADHD that makes you bump into shit a lot, there is nothing more satisfying than learning the source of a mystery scratch or bruise by hitting it again the same way and going “OHHHH THAT’S HOW I DID THAT”
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
It’s not impossible to be a barback at 44, but I do tend to wake up the next morning with ankles that are strictly ornamental and not to be used
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
Whenever I put my oodie on, it is at maximum 45 minutes until I have to rip it off again, gasping and sweating, but for about seven minutes of those 45 I am comfy as fuck
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
If you’re gonna talk shit about my accent or voice, do it directly to my face so I can double down and go full bogan, or wait until you’re out of earshot? Hot tip: one third of the way down a flight of stairs is still within earshot
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
She’s right, said one third of the podcast “Dirty Little Horror” 😇
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
The first two seasons of Murder Most Horrid are on Amazon, and seeing the quality of Dawn French’s wigs on a BBC show in 1991 puts nearly every modern TV wig department to shame Someone make Kidman watch a couple of episodes
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Muffin_Chips @muffinchips.bsky.social · 11/12/2024
I guess decades of kids getting their heads bl*wn off in schools all over the country left it open to some ambiguity
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
For the last two days I've started my day with a sun lamp and Adderall and I've felt...well not exactly productive, and not even necessarily focused, but certainly not so depressed and numb that even crying feels out of reach? Today, for science, I'm trying just the sun lamp, so fingers crossed
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Louis Peitzman @louispeitzman.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I don’t think I’ve ever taken a midnight shower without also using it to cry. Midnight showers don’t happen because things are going well.
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Sean Doherty @seandoherty.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
lets have a conclaveeeee I wanna have a conclave. lock the doorssss tight 😤 let’s have a conclave 👀 Cardinal Lawrence! 🙏🏻 I’m gonna vote for Bellini
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
If turkey stuffing can be made independent of the turkey then why the fuck aren’t we eating it four times a week
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
Obviously Thanksgiving is not baked into my constitution, and honestly I [fart noise] a parade, but you bet your ass I watched the gay trifecta of Death Becomes Her, Ariana Madix and KYLIE
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
Had a therapy session so good last night my entire psyche unclenched and I was overcome with a peaceful sleepiness. So I went to bed at 10:30pm; four hours earlier than normal. Then I woke up at 1:30am and have been up ever since so IT'S OKAY I'M RECLENCHED AGAIN
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
Are we still calling a breakdown a “menty b” to mitigate the severity of conversations about mental health without compromising the importance of transparency in said conversations, or are we just going in dry now? Anyway I had a [nomenclature TBD] for two days this week but I think it has passed
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
My surname is [TBA] because at 25 I legally changed it from my dad’s name to my mother’s maiden name, bc my dad was largely absent growing up, but it turns out my mother’s side of the family are all cunce, so I wanted to change it back, but my dad is now sort of worse, so fuckin now what
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
I do a pretty good job of convincing myself I don’t snack excessively until my vacuum approaches the couch and it starts making a noise like a rainstick
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
Gonna make this my new bio
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
Oh no what if I start earnestly posting my every thought again, and vacillating wildly between callous punchlines and being a bee’s dick shy of “too vulnerable” and also what if I love it if that happens
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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
the other thing we dont discuss at all is that the biggest consumer of manosphere stuff isnt 18 year olds, its 35-40 year old assholes with a nice car and lucrative job who still dont get why nobody likes them
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
I forgot, when I first joined Bluesky, how many avid dong-posting enthusiasts I immediately followed, and I’m unfamiliar with this sudden blend of friends posting pithy thoughts, and full porn. I’m also not mad at it; seems convenient
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 15/08/2023
I miss my dog so much I can’t even look at photos of her anymore, and that sucks because I took so many before I left in preparation (she’s still alive, she’s just a) in another hemisphere and b) technically no longer mine)
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 14/08/2023
Christopher, stop saying “oh geffahkt!!” in delighted surprised at service staff who give you good news. Not everyone understands the positive connotations to being told to “get fucked”
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 07/08/2023
I vacillate between being in the perfect emotional state to rewatch Ally McBeal and the worst emotional state to rewatch Ally McBeal, sometimes several times in the one scene
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Mark @markjaytee.bsky.social · 04/08/2023
gonna jack myself off with the Talk To Me hand and get ahead of the ghosts
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 07/08/2023
There is no character in fiction more stupid than everyone in either Wolf Creek film
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Christopher Surname-Pending @chrisopotamia.bsky.social · 03/08/2023
Well this is a treat. Thank you Allison. This feels like fresh air!
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