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Chris Heller

@cheller-rev.bsky.social
82 followers 168 following 198 posts

Just a random Chicago sports fan who also happens to be a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. I usually go by he/him but won't be offended if you just call me "that idiot over there."

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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
In addition: Bears fan takes a very distant back seat to anything women in general are dealing with on the regular with this particular a-hole and our current news cycle.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This entire thing pisses me off because tonight I was forced to root for Aaron Rodgers, and as a lifelong Bears fan, that was fucking painful.
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JP Acosta @acosta32jp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“I’m really lighting conscious” A REAL THING SAID BY MIKE FUCKING TOMLIN ABOUT MINECRAFT IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
DA calling a helluva good defense this half.
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Matt Lombardo @mattlombardo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
We have completely lost the plot in America, when seven men can drug and gang rape a woman who was in no condition to give consent and so much of the concern is for the “men’s” futures. There needs to he a reckoning when it comes to male-first framing and societal expectations.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Great job by Thuney to get just enough of the corner to give him room to step up.
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Jazz. @jl3001.blacksky.app · 26/09/2026
The iced coffee in the job interview thing is a psy op cuz no one is getting interviews
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Ian Malcolm's Iconic 'Think If You Should' Quote
Alt: Ian Malcolm's Iconic 'Think If You Should' Quote
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
And yet he's still not in the hall. His forced fumble numbers alone (on top of his cover skills) should have him a finalist.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
He'll be ready to go in two weeks. Trust me.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Rams need to have a long talk with the decision makers that insisted they didn't even need 48 hours in Australia before playing a football game.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Needs two more frames: the first the bowling ball dropping on their foot and the final frame to tell everyone "this is all Joe Biden's fault."
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ghost malone ergo propter bones @proptermalone.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
sure would be cool to have a functional FDA right about now
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Wrong "r" word to end that post with.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
In three days he'll be announcing he's invented this new thing called "free trade," claiming "nobody's ever even thought of something like this before."
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Why do we live in the stupidest timeline?
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Gaius (from Tribunate) @gaius.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
You’ve got to understand the WNBA’s dilemma here: on one side are the hardcore, dedicated socially liberal fanbase who supported the league during the dark days when it was barely profitable and on the other side are the people who hate women and don’t think the WNBA should exist.
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 23/08/2026
here is the thing. if you tell me that you believe that race is a biological category and that it is a guide to the objective superiority and inferiority of groups of people, i am not calling you a racist to *insult* you, i am calling you a racist because it best describes your beliefs.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Time to start eating less red meat for a while...
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Bread and Circuses, but make it even worse for the environment.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
This is horrifying. I always thought that prejudice would lose its grip in higher education. The world keeps proving me wrong.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Ridiculous stat.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I think the Bears offer the Vikes Tyson Bagent and a 7 for J.J., a 2, and a future 4. Then the Bears rehab and hype J.J. and trade him for a 2 next offseason.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
But why did you have to make the rest of us suffer with you?
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Time to send another couple million to Donnie...
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Hemry, Local Bartender @bartenderhemry.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
oh my god he hit the reflecting pool with a "two weeks" dawgggggg that thing's never opening again
The pool, which was drained for repairs shortly after the Fourth of July holiday, is currently empty and fenced off from the public. The president promised on Monday that it would be fixed and reopened in two weeks at most.
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Sarah Taber @sarahtaber.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
A quick word on Taco Bell: That's where we found the suspected lettuce, and it's not bc Taco Bell is gross. It's bc Taco Bell is REALLY GOOD at tracing product! Keeping track of exactly where they got their ingredients, & exactly what restaurants each shipment of ingredients went to!
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
static.klipy.com
I Don't Believe You - April Fools Day Meme
ALT: I Don't Believe You - April Fools Day Meme
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Ilhan Omar @ilhanmn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
ICE has fatally shot 11 people since Donald Trump's second term began. These are not isolated incidents. They are the predictable result of a cruel, violent system. Abolish ICE.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
He may have uncovered the secret ingredients to their sauces. Who knows how far Chick-fil-A will go to keep their secrets?
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I need somebody to explain to me why so many people (mostly "men") seem to think being a level 5 asshole is the best way to be taken seriously. Explain it to me like I'm 7, please.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
And yet, he's still there...
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Cape Verde is on the verge of getting their own Disney film.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
i cannot stress enough how much this man should not be the democratic presidential nominee
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I mean, really, who wants a party that actually listens to its constituents?
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Let's do it again tomorrow, eh?
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Endless Screaming @infinitescream.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
static.klipy.com
Jeff Goldblum's Iconic Jurassic Park Quote
Alt: Jeff Goldblum's Iconic Jurassic Park Quote "your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Narrator: They would not do as he said.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Our republic will never recover.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Oh.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
I'm sure Mike is posting this for no reason in particular...
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John Breen @breen.tech · 14/06/2026
The thing about “USAID is a tool of soft power” is that it’s true, but ripping out all of that aid is also murder. The solution isn’t just getting rid of USAID. It’s replacing it with direct, unconditional reparations for colonialism and underdevelopment.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
As a Bulls fan from the 90s, I approve of this image.
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
We're probably talking both AND seizing the means of production.
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Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 11/06/2026
These bastards would have applauded kristallnacht. "In Germany, they're standing up because their leaders have let them down. They're trying to take their country back. All they want to be is German. They want Germany back."
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Please talk more about Bregman's absolute lack of clutch this year. He's been brital.6
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Patrick Claybon @patrickclaybon.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Sheriff's elections are a microcosm of the US voter experience where you have to pick the least harmful cop (impossible)
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Chris Heller @cheller-rev.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
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Alex Taliadoros @alexctaliadoros.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
#Freedom250... DC's very own Fyre Fest
America 250 concert lineup poster with an "X" symbol over every artist that has dropped out of performing. Only Flo Rida and Bret Michaels remain.
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