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Crist Jarrett

@ceejness.bsky.social
551 followers 421 following 2.1K posts

Voice Actor. Radio. Comedian. Anti-Motivational Speaker. Bad Influencer. Space & Weather Nerd. Your Mom’s Favorite. Podcasts: Nerd Talk+ & Florida Man Murders. Chaotic Neutral. Major League Centaurs. 305. 206. Size 14.

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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 1h
If Seba Gomez had Paul Rothrock’s hair he’d score 10 goals a season.
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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 4h
The President is unable to stay awake during Oval Office press conferences
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 2h
There’s almost no more addicting feeling for adults of a certain age than to name middle infielders from the early to mid 1990s.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 10h
I’m so tired of this shit.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
So you know when you’re dying and the only thing that might save you is that soup? Who has that soup? I will travel all 3 counties to find it. My place closed and I cannot find the soup. Someone please direct my to #thesoup
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I get unnecessarily horny for goals against Tampa Bay.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I want Boko Imama on my hockey team.
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Dave Zirin @edgeofsports.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
More of this please. Public money for sports should come with public ownership substack.com/profile/9225...
substack.com
David Sirota (@sirota)
My modest proposal announced on City Cast Denver: Use eminent domain to nationalize the Denver Nuggets #FreeTheJoker
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
HOLY SHIT MARINERS AND SOUNDERS IN THE SAME NIGHT
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sdpn @sdpnsports.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
🚨 PANTHERS SEASON PREVIEW! 🚨 Let's call it what it is... Florida's a cap-compliant, Olympic-quality team. Be afraid. Watch here ➡️ bit.ly/4jkIVjy
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Hi. I'm Dan. @dannicus.com · 22/09/2026
Don't forget to get your fat bear votes in.
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James @zimowsky.net · 22/09/2026
Bummer. Back in Feb I was bragging to my brother about having a local paper that covered soccer.
Seattle Times soccer coverage
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Who is going to give me money to start a competitor news paper and hire all the good people?
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
#goms
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I did that. #goms
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I’m taking credit for this. #goms
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Hello boyyyyssssszzzz #goms
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Miami Herald @miamiherald.com · 18/09/2026
Miami, Broward home to 42nd Carnival
bit.ly
Miami Carnival returns to honor ‘full spectrum of Caribbean culture’
Miami, Broward home to 42nd Carnival
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
There should be an uber where I drive.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I love when your uber driver is not from Miami and they follow their little mappy thingy and make lane choices all on their own ////SARCASM////
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Andrew Hammond @ahamm.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Where has my country gone….
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Mario @bollofever.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Pepas just came on in this random cocktail bar, and you know what?
static.klipy.com
Man Singing and Screaming into Microphone
ALT: Man Singing and Screaming into Microphone
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@Lane_ @lanemit.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
We need to tell them what we want. What we really, really want.
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tinybaby @tiny.baby · 11/09/2026
a funny trick you could do if you have a folding phone is put it between your ass cheeks and then "twerk" your ass so the phone opens and closes and maybe there's a funny pic in htere idk i got bored halfway through this
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 11/09/2026
i think it is bad that the president is that helm of a deranged cult of personality
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
In fairness, he was supposed to be zooted and it would have taken 5.
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Kylie Eleison @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Pic unrelated, can't figure out how to delete, sorry
RFK Jr. sent text apologizing to woman who accused him of sexual assault
The woman called the unsolicited late-night message “disingenuous and arrogant.”
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Let them nuts hang
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
NEW SOUND JUST DROPPED @chrisjoseph13.bsky.social @datrorokid.bsky.social @floridamanmurders.bsky.social
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Nothing like a number 29 coming through in the clutch on defense.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The only way the game should have ended in Seattle. #darkside
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Prisoners care more about kids staying fed than your local government officials.
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
30 incarcerated men presented a $4,267 donation to a northwest Kansas school district to pay down the district's unsettled lunch debt The donation was to be "utilized to help local children fuel their day and stay focused and energized this school year"
actionnews5.com
Prison inmates help to pay down school lunch debt
A school district's unsettled lunch debt was substantially paid down by a group of inmates.
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Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I lay out why Elon Musk, Katie Miller, Mike Lee and others on the right are lying about the AfD, the far right, the far left, and more, in just 60 seconds. Time for a debunking - and a 60-second rant!
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
You’re probably going to hear a lot of fearmongering from Trump and Republicans about “socialism” over the next two days. But what are they really afraid of?
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Ms. Mambo 🐀 @msmambo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Maybe these “people building the future” should stop being pieces of shit.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I love how quickly “during COVID” has turned into “5 years ago” as if there was nothing happening in the world other than Joe Biden.
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Apartments designated as affordable are sitting empty as the poorest of the poor in the U.S. cannot afford them
nbcnews.com
The poorest in the U.S. can’t find housing even as low-income units sit empty
“I just keep trying to swim uphill,” says Mathew Davis, 49, of the few hundred dollars he earns a month.
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Andrew Hammond @ahamm.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
It’s takes A LOT to out-awkward Nathan Fielder, but Elizabeth Holmes does it.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
HERBIE FOREVER
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Dat Roro Kid @datrorokid.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Coñooooooo! TONEY TONEY TONEY
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Goddammit
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
@msmambo.bsky.social do you have anything available?
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Miami Herald @miamiherald.com · 04/09/2026
A zoning tweak opened up new areas of the city to entrepreneurial mystics.
bit.ly
A good omen? Fort Lauderdale now allows more fortune tellers to set up shop
A zoning tweak opened up new areas of the city to entrepreneurial mystics.
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Casey @baseycrock.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
The biggest Florida recession indicator outside of declining home sales is frequency of restaurant closures and buddy, lemme tell ya
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ghost malone ergo propter bones @proptermalone.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I am really going to need some people to precommit to a list of job titles they think should get you murdered in the street
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I regret to inform you that Burger King’s new nuggets and sauces far exceed expectations.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Cal back on pace to hit 40 home runs by September.
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Miami Herald @miamiherald.com · 01/09/2026
County commissioners are set to vote on the updated investment policy on Tuesday.
bit.ly
Proposed rule change would let Miami-Dade invest more tax dollars in Israel
County commissioners are set to vote on the updated investment policy on Tuesday.
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Crist Jarrett @ceejness.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
RAAAANNNNDDDDYYYYYYYY
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