Sign in

Candace Heckard

@candaceheckard.bsky.social
18 followers 43 following 58 posts

Worked in print advertising from 1984-2015 and I’m exhausted! Loving old movies, fun recipes, travel, 16th century history and trying to avoid the massive orange turd.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Shallow State @ourshallowstate.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Mitch McConnell's medical team says, after 85 days of being out of sight, that he is "still having issues with breathing." This is a very common side effect to not being alive.
29464114
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Bill Grueskin @bgrueskin.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Running out of body bags, using forklifts to transfer corpses into makeshift morgues, a mortician conducting 200 funerals in a month when he usually does 30, crematories running at double capacity… And these senators just want to memory-hole it all www.nytimes.com/2020/04/30/n...
nytimes.com
‘We Ran Out of Space’: Bodies Pile Up as N.Y. Struggles to Bury Its Dead (Gift Article)
The coronavirus crisis is overwhelming New York’s system for burying the dead.
22182742839
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 24/07/2026
Seagull With Diarrhea Barely Makes It To Crowded Beach In Time theonion.com/seagull-with-diarrhea-…
Seagull With Diarrhea Barely Makes It To Crowded Beach In Time
221725213
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Transitional Fossil @transitfossil.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
An amuse douche, if you will.
72375
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Michele @burienwino.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
It's like we have been sent an appetizer because the main course is taking too long.
27587931102
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 05/04/2026
Nation’s Fuckups Announce Plan To Get Shit Together For Real This Time theonion.com/nations-fuckups-announ…
Nation’s Fuckups Announce Plan To Get Shit Together For Real This Time
18112988
Reposted by Candace Heckard
George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
18588142253
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Adam Zyglis @adamzyglis.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
War on Truth…
211290493
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 07/03/2026
Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary theonion.com/kristi-noem-fired-as-d…
“Never send a dog-killer to do a people-killer’s job.”

Henry Beisert, Seed Packager
31421150
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Freethinker @69eerrr.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
The media (and everyone else) need to stop referring to ICE as "law enforcement". They are out to perform "ethnic cleansing" and to terrorize the population. There is nothing "lawful" about it.
35683682359
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 09/12/2025
Terry Gross Conducts ‘Fresh Air’ Interview On Bluetooth During Uber Shift theonion.com/terry-gross-conducts-f…
Terry Gross Conducts ‘Fresh Air’ Interview On Bluetooth During Uber Shift 

Rideshare Driving Subsidizes In-Depth Conversations On News And Culture
9101784
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Candace Heckard @candaceheckard.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
🤣🤣🤣🤣
001
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Jen Taub @jentaub.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
😆
633634
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Every day he finds new ways to turn the US into a giant insane asylum.
85356501120
Reposted by Candace Heckard
George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway.bsky.social · 03/09/2025
2148258707722
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Kurt Andersen @kurtandersen.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
Rod Serling’s introduction: “This, as you may recognize, is a map of the United States…On a given morning not too long ago the rest of the world disappeared…A monster had arrived….Just by using his mind, he moved an entire community back into the dark ages….This is the Twilight Zone.”
2406
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 15/08/2025
Novelty Nachos Helmet Works Way Into Regular Dishes Rotation
Novelty Nachos Helmet Works Way Into Regular Dishes Rotation
221912155
Reposted by Candace Heckard
The Onion @theonion.com · 07/08/2025
Sleeping Man Flanked By Laptop, Phone, Earbuds Like Egyptian Pharaoh Buried With All His Treasures
Sleeping Man Flanked By Laptop, Phone, Earbuds Like Egyptian Pharaoh Buried With All His Treasures
252779344
Reposted by Candace Heckard
NurseBrianRN @nursebrianrn.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
me, too, sweater. me, fucking, too.
010827
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
How long until they let us know we’ve been on Candid Camera since November?
1014044
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Anne Thériault @annetheriault.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
John Julius Norwich, describing 9th century Sicily: The local Byzantine Governor, Euphemius by name, had recently been dismissed from his post and recalled to Constantinople after an unseemly elopement with a local nun. His reply was to rise in revolt and proclaim himself Emperor. Me: go on …
3446
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 30/06/2025
bsky.app/profile/muel...
781623338
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Rodney Lacroix @rodlacroix.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Jeff Bezos’s wedding cost $50 million. In related news I wash plastic forks so I can reuse them.
5419
Reposted by Candace Heckard
MylesC57💙ANTIFA-8647! @mylesc57.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
519983
Candace Heckard @candaceheckard.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
I think my grandmother had the right idea. She kept her money in the oven.
000
Reposted by Candace Heckard
Dr Lindsey Fitzharris @drlindseyfitz.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
#Same
A photo of Christopher Walken looking mightily pissed off with a caption that reads: "My reaction to absolutely everything right now."
642946
Reposted by Candace Heckard
JoJoFromJerz @jojofromjerz.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
This is so spot-on it’s scary.
11345509814312
Candace Heckard @candaceheckard.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
Time to deploy the napkins!
000