Sign in

Bryan Gutmann

@bryangutmann.bsky.social
90 followers 75 following 86 posts

Guys, what we even doing anymore?

PostsRepliesMedia
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
“My mother put my face in a panini press once…….once.”
010
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
I basically only have a Bluesky account solely to share new David Huntsberger podcasts episodes AND I’M VERY OKAY WITH THAT. He’s great and his work is great. Go listen!!!
020
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 31/05/2026
The people cry out for Jarnathan
384404948
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Nash @radiodeadair.com · 20/05/2026
Remember: we were never given credit for being right about crypto, we were never given credit for being right about NFTs, we were never given credit for being right about the metaverse and we will never be given credit for being right about AI. Fuck 'em up anyway.
2048071513
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
HomeGoods is Five Below for moms. #happymothersday
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
MY STEPMOM: *stuck in a washing machine* help ME: I got this *googles stepmom stuck in washing machine* what the
430749
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
“the singer”
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
😂😂😂
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Further proof that I do comedy things with amazing, creative people.
010
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Outspoken™️ @out5p0ken.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Doctors dress like Jesus now.
742277427
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
The Onion @theonion.com · 12/04/2026
Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
theonion.com
Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
WASHINGTON--After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave a speech Tuesday in which he warned that Americans were not eating enough bees. “In our survey of American...
171360162
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
The Barbed Wire @thebarbedwire.com · 10/04/2026
The new season of "Euphoria" premieres this weekend. In the show, Martha Kelly plays a terrifying drug dealer with a deadpan delivery. In real life, she’s a deadpan comedian who cut her teeth in Texas. thebarbedwire.com/2025/03/26/m...
thebarbedwire.com
Before She Was a Scary Drug Dealer on ‘Euphoria,’ Martha Kelly Was the Funniest Person in Austin
Martha Kelly proves that in Hollywood, you're either the comic relief or the nightmare fuel.
5437
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
We STILL have to slow down for these Water Lumps??!!
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
The Onion @theonion.com · 05/04/2026
Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas
Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas
131533193
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Lilah Sturges @lilahsturges.com · 28/03/2026
I think we need to celebrate the death of Sora a bit more. This is a technology that, just MONTHS AGO, we were being told was going to literally destroy Hollywood and Disney was going to give them a BILLION DOLLARS and NONE OF THAT EVEN REMOTELY HAPPENED
115193195615
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Finally some good ideas being proposed in 2026.
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
I think it’s cool that vacation spending doesn’t come out of your bank account. Very neat.
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
The weirdest part of any flight is when the pilot comes on the PA and starts to read ad copy for an airplane credit card like he’s up there hosting a podcast.
010
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
HEY LOOK - I’M ON A PODCAST THAT IS CONSTANTLY BRIMMING WITH CREATIVITY AND TALENT!
011
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
Weird. I swear I remember laughing all through the new Naked Gun because it had jokes. I guess I sat in silence, wishing for someone to cancel Cancel Culture®️.
021
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Does he have to give that other persons peace prize back now?
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
I want a zoo but it’s all MAGA and billionaires. It’s open 24/7. No privacy for the rest of their lives as we walk by with cokes and hot dogs and tell our kids these foul fleshy creatures in cages actually used to have power. And the kids laugh up at us like, “No way!”
3311
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin @ecmclaughlin.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
Dinosaur Convention out here with higher moral standards than the Cabinet.
61413313
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 07/02/2026
The man who told reporters it’s time to move on from the Epstein files won’t shut up about the 2020 election.
583284327535
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
Groundhog Day | noun | a situation in which the same usually negative or monotonous experiences occur repeatedly or are felt to occur repeatedly with no change or correction
1542
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
ICE actively preying on more small children to abduct and send to concentration camps. Every single person responsible for this should be sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in one of their own camps, with the same crowding, rancid food, etc. You built it, enjoy it forever.
4408123
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 30/01/2026
❤️
362279149140
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
Man, I bet the NRA is going to be furious when they hear that jack-booted thugs from the federal government executed a law-abiding citizen for exercising his Second Amendment right to carry a handgun. Any second now, I'm sure. He was a white guy, if that helps? Hello? NRA?
307131363396
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
molly conger @socialistdogmom.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.
241274029835
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
LorennaCleary.bsky.social @lorennacleary.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
The absolute accuracy of this.
1028288575051
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
A big giant thumbs down to this era of gaming when every title abandoned their own awesome visual style to instead look like this.
100
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Courtney Milan @courtneymilan.com · 08/01/2026
I don't know who needs to hear this, but cops are not allowed to shoot people just because you didn't do what they said. That is called murder when they do that. Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
38209095149
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Amazing.
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Sometimes a college basketball game will be like Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State and it’s like come on guys I know that’s the same place.
21134
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Gonna update the Magic 8 Ball with a side that says “I DON’T know - CAN you??”
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
Along the lines of the “no talking” option in an Uber, you should be able to pre-check to an auto care place and check a “Don’t tell me about extra stuff” box about my car.
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
There’s gonna be a White House Comedy Festival soon, isn’t there?
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Chris Cubas @chriscubas.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
I like to think this Riyadh festival is a big Ocean’s 11 style caper designed to help Pete Davidson avenge his father.
0105
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Do I just fast forward through podcast ads more these days, or have we all stopped caring as much if our clothes are antimicrobial?
000
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
I want a re-release of the original Jurassic Park that pulls a ‘Reverse George Lucas’ and inserts the originally intended stop-motion animation.
010
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
Mike Drucker @mikedrucker.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
I love late night shows and will always love late night shows. There’s a showbiz magic to hundreds of people throwing together an entire entertainment program for a live studio audience that will then be on television that same night. Regardless of business or if you like them, just kind of magical.
14111276
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Shoutout Xanga - I’ll emo out all over again!
000
Reposted by Bryan Gutmann
George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
I see it. I have lived it. 83 years ago, the U.S. government turned upon a group of its own citizens and residents and sent them to internment camps without due process. I was there among them. American fascism is back. It is here. It is now.
A tweet by Sarah Longwell (@SarahLongwell25
) reads: "He’s threatening media companies who are critical of him. He’s talking about sending Americans to foreign prisons. He’s signing executive orders to investigate former staff members who spoke out against him. Don’t you see what’s happening here?"
9474504814361
Bryan Gutmann @bryangutmann.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
Upon further discussion Kath and I have confirmed that I’m in fact great.
0101