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Ryan Bateman

@boat.horse
350 followers 267 following 1.1K posts

I live in Berlin, Germany. I am at boat.horse I made every.horse I am not a horse.

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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 6m
Small things, growing.
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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 16h
fish are friends
Stop using anti-fish language
Instead of: this seems fishy
Try saying:
this seems like a situation in which we should consult the wisdom and grace of the European seabass, a species with which i would entrust my entire life and personal safety
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 15h
Oh hell yes. Oh. Hell. Yes.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 23h
LLMs are quite good at helping you gain flash/write access to your old hardware (after some minor soldering). Shown here: an early Beeline device jailbroken to accept custom OTAs.
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Paul Mainwood @paulmainwood.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Reminder that both the "mass vaccination = mass death" nutcases, and the "ongoing deadly pandemic" lot are proven wrong every day. Actuaries - whose jobs depend on getting death rates right regularly publish age-standardised mortality rates. Post-pandemic, back to a steady year-on-year improvement.
Chart showing standardaised mortality rates for England and Wales. After a steady improvement 2016-2019, and then a bunch of pandemic-driven bumps 2020-2022, the lines start improving again 2023-2026 which is shaping up to the best ever.
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Japan CamBot @japan-cambot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Kamikochi Kappa Bridge, Japan live #Japan #Nippon
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max power 🌌 @sneptech.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 26/09/2026
I am enjoying this bot. It is a good bot.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 24/09/2026
Bluesky is the home of people who start a post with "fun fact:" and the fact is not fun and is actually a little depressing.
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Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Photo of a book cover featuring another photo of a real cockatiel. Title and author read:

Introduction to Screaming
By Dr Coqatielius Boidmin
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Charles Pulliam-Moore @charlespulliam.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The Emma Frost x Miss Piggy comic has hit the internet and it's so, so, so much more magnificent than I ever could have hoped for
Emma Frost: "Emma Frost, darling. I'm a telepath. May I read your mind to ascertain if you're telling the truth?"

Miss Piggy: "But of course, darling I am an open book, a tell-all memoir."Emma Frost telepathically witnessing the entirety of Miss Piggy's life.Wolverine: "Frost? She legit?"
Emma Frost: "She's..She's... She's everything. And I would die for her."
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GAI Debord @dylanschenker.com · 21/09/2026
This is a very fascinating observation from a person who was instrumental in popularizing Italian Brainrot! A decentralized hyperstitional creation with no singular origin medium.com/@fabianmosel...
When people started pretending that a bunch of random AI images were an IP, they inadvertently caused these character to break out and become a global entertainment success story, without being tied to any company. The participatory creation of media brought manufacturers to produce merch and toys in a decentralized way, videogame makers to create the most popular Roblox games, and anyone who wanted to use them, was able to, because no own owns them.

And now, one year later, the ouroboros has completed. On April 21st 2026, OpenAI’s 5th iteration of DALLE, commonly known as ChatGPT Images 2.0, tokenized, categorized and trained on Italian Brainrot, resulting in the first image model that can generate Italian Brainrot on its own.

There’s something very poetic in these AI-native characters that did not have any context at all, no origin except whatever DALLE 3 knew about the world, to now be the global phenomena it has become, therefore being ingested through the training dataset and allowing us to regurgitate it again forever through the latest OpenAI’s image model. The tokenization of token-native characters. Internet folklore.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 21/09/2026
first thing you see when trying to visit any website these days
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Roger Parloff @rparloff.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
The US will soon have the world's only triumphal arch whose features were driven by litigation strategy.
At the strong request of the United States Military, and for National Security purposes, I have agreed to convert the magnificent Triumphal Arch, planned since the Civil War Era many years ago, at the Receptive Circle adjoining the Arlington Memorial Bridge, into a top grade Military Complex/Triumphal Arch, to house, store, and have the rapid ability to use large numbers of drones, plus Snipers, on both the roof and plaza areas, and additionally have and hold large quantities of sniper ammunition in storage. There will be no facility like this anywhere in the World. Out of the 59 top cities and Capitals, Washington, D.C., IS THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD THAT DOES NOT HAVE A TRIUMPHAL ARCH, but it will now and, by far, the greatest of them all! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 20/09/2026
I did not come Online to be read like this.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 20/09/2026
Little enclosure to test viability of solar stuff on our small courtyard balcony.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 20/09/2026
Really dislike the NYT podcast giving the Rationalists a "but it's based in probability" credibility bump, even as they position it as a sex cult (without ever actually talking about the sex or cult parts).
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Tom Coates @tomcoates.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
A particularly entertaining SNL UK Weekend Update today. youtu.be/hFMq4bw2cW8?...
youtu.be
Weekend Update: Ed Sheeran, Robert Kraft and Diana's Swan Song | SNL UK
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live UK
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Gigan #VoteXenolhu @drillknight.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
A personal favorite
professor x: whats your superpower?
ostrich: i lay big egg
professor x [telepathically to x-men]: i can save us money on breakfast
ostrich [telepathically]: egg no for sale
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 17/09/2026
Eye. It needed eye.
A photo of a Strandbeest robot, its matrix LED face replaced with a camera module. It seems more earnest now, though perhaps no more capable.
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Z. Mann Zilla, Semi-Pro Goofball @pandangit.com · 17/09/2026
If wrestling isn't real then explain this.
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Albumism @albumism.com · 17/09/2026
DJ Shadow released his debut album ‘Endtroducing.....’ 30 years ago on September 16, 1996 album.ink/DJShadowEnd96
album.ink
Celebrating 30 Years of DJ Shadow’s Debut Album ‘Endtroducing.....’ (1996)
DJ Shadow’s debut album ‘Endtroducing…..’ was originally released in the UK on September 16, 1996 and in the US November 19, 1996.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 15/09/2026
Just realised one of my favourite YouTube videos is 19 years old. youtu.be/z4hQG-XTVa4?...
youtu.be
Aphex Twin - Rhubarb On Classical Guitar
YouTube video by dalycitytwins
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 15/09/2026
The alt-text, my friends. The alt-text is a joy to read.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 15/09/2026
Someone on X is claiming they made my Strandbeest bot, added a weird fly head overlay thing to my video, and even released a thin Github repo that kinda mimics elements of my working setup that they claim is the code (though it itself states it is not.) 4m views on X. How bizarre.
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Sardonicus @sardonicus.eu · 14/09/2026
Birgit Maria Jönsson 'The wooden statue is hollow inside and acts as a working home for a colony of bees, which use the openings around the dress area to enter and exit' de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datei:D...
a wooden sculpture of marilyn monroe, with bees emerging from her skirt
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Caræsten 🇵🇸 @cara.city · 13/09/2026
for two months, I've been flying drones over Flock cameras to situation them in space and geography; I even got my commercial drone license in order to do it. I'd like to share this project with you all: it's called Records Of Enemy Surveillance: recordsofenemysurveillance.com
image of a residential intersection with one red car driving across it and a baseball field in the backgroundblack and white dithered image of two red squares around the flock cameras in the previous image, on either side of the intersection
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dave @daverson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
if you just read the comic and you don't read the alt text on pants' posts you are missing 50% of the awesomeness and probably don't deserve an internet connexion
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The Onion @theonion.com · 12/09/2026
Critically Acclaimed ‘Ted Lasso’ Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other theonion.com/critically-acclaimed-t…
Critically Acclaimed ‘Ted Lasso’ Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 12/09/2026
This is a simulated digital fly brain operating a small robot strandbeest, 'seeing' through a webcam on my computer, operating its own legs, and with feedback from an onboard gyroscope/IMU. What even is the future.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 11/09/2026
This ESA arctic isolation boat/dome/polar research station is cool as hell. Cool. As. Hell. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mbC...
youtube.com
Exclusive tour onboard Tara Polar Station
YouTube video by Tara Ocean Foundation
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 11/09/2026
If you haven't been following what people are doing with the first full simulation of a (fruit fly) brain, you are missing out on a speed-run of the realisation of some of humanity's darker sci-fi.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 11/09/2026
I'm just gonna assume that it's my Catholic upbringing that's got me feeling like our broken dishwasher is somehow a moral failing on my part.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 11/09/2026
When you finish washing the dishes and think, "At Last, I Shed This Dark Mantle Of Vengeance," only then you spot one last dish and think, "Must I Forever Be Fate's Instrument Of Justice?"
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Michael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Toilet Instructions
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 09/09/2026
"Ducks" - an award winning short film. youtu.be/L8vZbIeAdAw?...
youtu.be
DUCKS | Award Winning Animated Short Film
YouTube video by AJ Jefferies
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 09/09/2026
The support chat bot on the website tells me to contact someone on the phone. The phone chat bot eventually redirects me to a person. The person asks me to email their support address. The email address auto-responds, telling me to use their website support bot.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 09/09/2026
The problem is that AI will never respond with the most real, realistic response: shrugging and saying, "I dunno what to tell you, man."
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Star Trek Minus Context @nocontexttrek1.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Star Trek Voyager scene. We see a small, lone shuttlecraft fllying through a cloudy sky. Closed caption reads, "(screaming)"
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Worm Girl @cataclysmtlg.com · 08/09/2026
"And, for an instant, she stared directly into those soft blue eyes and knew, with an instinctive mammalian certainty, that the exceedingly rich were no longer even remotely human."
They are not people.
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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
there are many funny lines in this story but I have this one up front at the moment timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/mma/n...
A human opponent understand the rules, knows when a referee can stop the fight and can choose to tap out. A chimpanzee would not understand any of those things. 

Johnson still believes his years of training could give him a chance.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 07/09/2026
me trying to enjoy the last vestiges of summer but knowing autumn is here
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Jaya Saxena @jayasaxena.com · 06/09/2026
I need every other newsletter to get on the level of the newsletter from the moss garden in Kyoto I went to two years ago
September has arrived, yet the hot weather still continues in Kyoto. The moss in the garden has patiently weathered the harsh summer temperatures, but when blessed with an occasional rain shower, it eagerly absorbs the moisture and seems to come alive again.

The mossy landscape we see today began to evolve about 300 years ago, and has been nurtured through the steady passage of time. With that in mind, we are reminded that each day we live is also an irreplaceable part of history in the making.
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Goodnews @goodnews.computer · 04/09/2026
Take a break from being depressed that everything you love is being destroyed by slop for a moment and let me tell you about the beautiful symbiotic relationship between graffiti writers, train yard workers, and model train enthusiasts.
A hand holding a model train with a replica of the same graffiti on the full scale train car behind it.A model train with two graffiti pieces on opposite sides.
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 04/09/2026
In 'The Furious' a man hits another man with a ladder, which that man then climbs in order to hit him back, and that's why it's my movie of the year.
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Twlldun @twlldun.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Me, just before I’m not about to get away with it:
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 02/09/2026
They're stretching the boy. They got a stretched out kid taking classes at NYU. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL3u...
youtube.com
They Are Stretching Barron Trump
YouTube video by CharactersWelcome
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Ryan Bateman @boat.horse · 02/09/2026
My little brother filmed this! youtu.be/XotZuHZ3Uyk?...
youtu.be
What Life Is Actually Like in Damascus Today
YouTube video by Kareem Rahma
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Avery Edison @averyedison.com · 25/03/2026
paying to watch the new Harry Potter directly funds trans genocide, the entire series has already been adapted faithfully, nothing will ever top the experience of reading the books as a child, and this tv show will literally never be completed, but hey—at least it looks really ugly and boring
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