iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jack M @balan.bsky.social · 20h

i only ever see people talk about the thyme garfield'ousheh from garfield eats. they're not telling you the full story.

garfield'ousheh thyme
picture of a man'ousheh with thyme, it looks like tv static or an ant nest and it's vaguely in the shape of garfield's head
garfield is grinning below and it says "feeling hungry"?

the same but its cheese instead and basically it looks like a cheese pizza

the same again but cheese/thyme, its half and half. good if you cant decide

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

true, im a hoyoverse junkie so take this with a grain of salt. but i've learnt more about the catholic faith from those gacha gals than i did from 29 years of going to church.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Hey I'm all for a bit of snark just not at the expense of proper reddiquette.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I thought this was just beautiful. Kurt Vonnegut takes a walk to mail a letter:

She calls out, “Where are you going?” And I say, “I am going out to get an envelope.” And she says, “Well, you’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in a closet.” And I say, “Hush.”

I go next to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of 47th Street and Second Avenue. The woman behind the counter says, “Thirty-nine cents for a stamp.” I say, “I only brought thirty-seven. When did that change?” She looked at me a long time. “Thirty-seven isn’t enough.” “Well that oughta be enough for one envelope,” I said. The line was getting longer.

The lady moved her hand into her coat. I knew this routine. I backflipped behind the man behind me in line, wrapping my elbow around his throat as I landed. By the time the stamp seller had unloaded her clip, I had full cover. The gentleman’s body dropped to the floor, six holes smoking. The package he was carrying fell to the floor with a heavy clunk. Whatever was in there, it would do.

I rolled my foot over the cardboard and did a “flick up” as they call it in soccer. I bounced the package once or twice on the back of my foot as the mail lady reloaded, then I launched it high and spun 360 to deliver my patented “Rising Phoenix kick”. The package caught fire as it shattered through the protective plexiglass window and struck the woman’s head with all the force and hatred I had learned to channel in my grueling tutelage under five fallen Wudang masters in my youth. The lady’s body exploded off of her bones, leaving just a blackened skeleton spinning in her office chair. “So it goes,” I said, but no one laughed. I guess they weren’t big readers.

And I go home. And I have had one hell of a good time.

We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

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Mousmine @mouses.house · 23/09/2026

Q: How can you see into my eyes? A: Like open doors!

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aged pua @porchfan.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

it sucks when you see a car with a bunch of cute anime lady stickers on it and you think oh a cute anime lady drives this car but then you remember it's probably some big fat guy's car

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

if rare never stopped making donkey kong country games. by now we'd have monkeys called like onerous kong and dolorous kong

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

sucks about the calamity. it doesnt sound that bad at first but make sure you listen all the way to the end

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

6 months ago i made some trivia videos about elden ring, and they did well so i kept making them. i've been trying to make the 4th one for like 3 months at this point and i have accomplished NOTHING because im so indecisive it makes it impossible to do anything!

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Funny bird @joyfulthought.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

NES game found in an industrial garbage bin: Press A Arino: *presses A* GAME OVER - I didn't say Simon says! Arino: Ehhh? Ah, that really surprised me. Voiceover: Will this decrepit aging husk of a man be able to see his family tonight?

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 16/08/2025

the tallest bonobo-made structure in history, one bonobo standing on another one, stands at a towering height of 2 apes

a bonobo standing on all fours on the head and shoulders of another bonobo

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 22/09/2025

You're going into witness protection but you have to choose your new name from this list of possibly fictional backers of a dubiously funded kickstarter game

VVIP Credits!

Byle Harris, Wendi Ulrika, Fleur Smith, Halseth Farlen, Andi Wipprech, Hoven Raddesa, Carl Robinson, Isauro C, Macker Gream, Jorge Hernandez, Jack Thomas, Pavel Gurkis, Victoria Souza, Sumay Hassan, Nathaniel, Pedro Wilas, Jackie Lopez, Wilson Garcia, Hacknei Golish, Susan Estrams, Samson Umswa, Salla J. Cook, Heeth Schlte, Adam Bailey, Debra Shawler, Mikaela Zuchs, Adilina Calevans, Antonio Campana, Jaime Lopez, Milo Jackson, Paul, Tamara Whilm, Haziel Guimaraes, Nicolai Borg, A.Thakur, Jake Nebarez, Gebray Provins, Eric Crutcher, Charles Vargas, Wes Matie, Leo Rundell, Walter, Eugene Simmons, NOAH, Arnold Deglia, Wane Tung, Comb Feldstich, Biele Feldt, Salee Corvery, Savelry Giewicz, Zaya Cruea, Zulema Casasi, Cascia Bork, Jose Martinez, Evener Chaiken, Ben White, Rossean Busbinni, Alice Gom , Craver Savey, Carter Forte, Albert Jenkins.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

my drafts from when i was being theodore the chipmunk on here

Dislikes: digital media preservation,

Pretty soon I'm going to be going to wherever Numor went

What kind of amenities would y'all like in a Chipmunks themed residential community? 🤔

The fact that Alvin still has people who will defend him after everything he's done is insane. Gonna get all the weird superfans in my mentions now, but I just don't care any more. DIE!!!

Kids still love sped up music but its all made with computers now. I guess there is no need for us chip munks

wow you think the chipmunks music is annoying and not good... let me guess you think the word moist is gross too

People who "ironically" watch our movie's and listen to our music have stinky, unwashed asses. Just know that no-one likes you.

Alvin: We're the munks with the gunk!
Theodore: I'm full of spunk!
Simon: I'm the simon with the semen

im not even trying any more i know all of my shortcomings, my brothers made sure of that

me and simon are lighting up celebratory blunts because the doctor confirmed alvin has irretrievably destroyed one of his testicles and theyre going to have to remove the other one

once again alvin is posting nonstop about the demon's souls ps5 remake which he has never played.

Numor died years ago and they were going to secretly replace him with a body double but they just didn't bother

Our sound hasn't meaningfully changed in decades, we have no fans left, and the jokes in our last movie weren't very good. Basically, we're frauds, and I'm by far the least talented of the group.

We are developing a Chipmunk iPhone app to keep our fans up-to-date with the latest news, share exclusive content, and control the flow of false information.

All Simon talks about any more is lost media i need someone to kick his head in

We find time between recording our songs and performing at venues to get up to/cause horrendous mischief.

They (other 2 chipmunks) make me do solo covers of songs by women for comedic effect well I hope they like having their clothes and posessions caked in dried shit

I was born in a litter of 11 chipmunks only 2 of my siblings remain I will cling to them with my life even though they are awful

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

DK rap secret 2nd chorus lyrics DK Modest dong DK His cock is not that big

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

on reddit you can use any picture you want as your avatar, or you can be the reddit snoo decked out in nft-style outfits. a majority of users choose the latter.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

with the power of HD-2D, jrpgs can finally be as ugly as they are boring

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Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

*aloud, shattering the dismal silence of the open plan office* you guys are all my muchachos

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Rocco Botte @roccobotte.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

I’m fucking Toadfish you freak, and you hit my bad side already. I’m gonna screw you.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

free username idea shart_inhaler

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 18/10/2023

i miss when the ads on the tumblr app looked like this for some reason

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

its worth posting something like "the reddit snoo is mad sexy" so if anyone gives you grief you can cut them out of your life. you won't need them on your journey.

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GremKid1984 @jinjo.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

This Kong's fucked up. He looks like shit! He's only here, so we can laugh at him!

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

watch: graphic cutscene of kong's banana horde getting mercilessly burgled in new adults-only dkc romhack

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Shocking footage of unusual creature making shrieking and groaning noises found on encrypted website

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

a couple of years ago i made bank selling human children and babies on sites like gumtree. i cleverly disguised the listings as wardrobes, so i was never caught.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

the characters in this game can be so nasty! #minathehollower

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

today's the day i upload my Hello Kitty Flowershop let's play! actually i broke my streak this year because it's past midnight and the video still hasn't uploaded... it's 17 gb

youtube videos called "lets play Hello kitty" part 1 through 9, the upload dates are 1 year apart

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

a random fact i will never forget

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

i am no longer going to be "theodore" on here, i'm going back to the real me...

black and white framed photo of theodore the chipmunk with a black ribbon on it signifying that he has died.

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Daydream Gallery @daydreamgallerydev.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT! Trading Card Inspector now has a release date!🙊 Check out the trailer, wishlist the Steam page, play the demo and GET READY FOR THE FULL GAME THIS JUNE!!!🃏🕵️ #IndieDev #GameDev #IndieGames #CozyGames #Steam #ScreenshotSaturday

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GremKid1984 @jinjo.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

The best part of being a Gilded Lord? Knowing my peasants have my back.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

I farted whilst jumping across the river.

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GremKid1984 @jinjo.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

Man eats shit slipping on Doo

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Alvin and the Squidgames coming soon to netflix

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orgamecha @orgamecha.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

just saw a disgusting meme of us floating around and i won't post it but let me tell you it is so disrespectful to us not to mention the chipettes but alvin is clearly getting the best head

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Iced Coffee Diva @magnificatenjoyer.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

I asked Theodore for an autograph and he muttered something about retribution and when I asked what he meant he spat in my face

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

We had all but finished recording our 7th album. Then Alvin heard a song by Ice Spice. He insisted on scrapping everything we had at that point and starting over. He was adamant that to keep up, we needed to evolve our sound.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

Good thing Simon is always wearing those dumbshit glasses otherwise every rodent I saw exploded on the side of the road I'd think was him

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

I just tried pitching down a recording of me singing and what the fuck

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

I will remember everyone who has wrong me or neglected me when I transform into a butterfly with the power to grant wishes.

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

feeling worthless. dave just called me a stupid son of a whore #emo

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jack M @balan.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Alvin, Simon and I will shortly enter our respective cocoons and pupate.

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