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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 15/08/2026

Getting some Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble playtesting in this morning.

Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble board game being played on an outdoor table. Translucent fish shaped dice of various colors are scattered around atop printed score cards and player mats.

AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 12/08/2026

Considering the degrees of jank involved in my modelling of them in FreeCAD they came out so much better than they had any right to.

Rows of fish dice arranged in the colors of the trans pride flag.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 12/08/2026

There's also this delightful woodcut bear first player token a friend is making for me. This is a prototype, and the final ones will either be engraved or stamped similar to the bags with more Evlyn artwork.

Woodcut bear token, who is both chubby and eating fish.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 12/08/2026

Then the bags, which my lovely wife @weeshtable.bsky.social is sewing. The one shown here is the first prototype, final dimensions and fabrics are being worked out still. The delightful artwork is by @evlynmoreau.bsky.social and block printed with a 3d printed stamp.

Test of block printing art onto a fabric bag. Left is the bag, middle is the stamp with ink applied, right is a paper test print. The art itself is a cartoon bear fumbling fish back into the river, surrounded by the text "Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble". A bunch of fish dice are on the table nearby.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 12/08/2026

I learned how to make resin dice from scratch for this project and wow did I not fully appreciate how much time, money, and effort would be involved in trying to "mass produce" custom fish dice. From mold making, to casting, to painting in all the numbers and eyes.

Silicone molds for fish dice next to a bunch of recently unmolded pink fish dice.

Filled fish dice molds inside a "pressure pot" for curing.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 12/08/2026

I briefly awaken from my social media hiatus to share progress pictures of Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble! It's a push your luck dice rolling game where you play as bears at the Katmai National Park trying to catch and eat salmon to gain weight for the winter. First up, the fish dice.

Three fish shaped dice stacked atop each other, they are the trans pride colors. First a blue four sided fish die, then a white six sided, then a pink eight sided on top.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 08/12/2024

Also the bear face! And I forgot @dcponcho.bsky.social is on bluesky now!

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 08/12/2024

A friend of mine printed fish dice for my little PnP board game: Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble! They're so good! Look at these little guys!

Pocket mod of Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble, illustrated with a bear trying to catch fish.

On the table next to it is a bear shaped box filled with fish shaped dice.

A bunch of fish shaped dice sitting in a bear shaped box lid.

A yellow 3d printed four sided fish die.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 29/10/2024

This is what came with mine. No idea where you'd get a hold of one though. If it's ever helpful, ping me and I can try and measure the exact dimensions of the ring.

Bulova Accutron watch face down with battery cavity opened. Next to it is the battery itself, a small nylon adapter ring for the battery, and the battery packaging. Package indicates the battery is an Energizer 394/380 Multidrain 1.55V.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 23/10/2024

Darien's hard work on the packing continues.

A tuxedo cat with a skinny tail is balanced precariously atop an open cardboard box, legs splayed to both sides of the top. Light from the window behind illuminates him, and makes his nearly hairless translucent ears practically glow.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 19/10/2024

Darien is hard at work helping us pack.

A scrungly tuxedo cat is sprawled out, fast asleep on top of a stack of banker boxes. This skinny tail is curled up beside him, and a patch of sunlight is illuminating his tummy. Behind him is an empty board game shelf (previously where the contents of the banker boxes were stored).

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 19/10/2024

Interdimensional Goblins! (Art by @n8hps.bsky.social layout by @brstf.games in my adventure Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure.)

Inner spread of the zine Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure. The zine is titled GOBLINS and features a half dozen goblins wearing and wielding various items of clothing and accessories from our real world. Such as a goblin with a stack of different baseball caps, holding a computer keyboard. Or a goblin wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses throwing whole cans of beer from a six pack

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 17/10/2024

Welcome to bluesky. I don't post very much (which makes me a great follow, imo) but when I do it's usually about TTRPGs, game design, mead making, and maybe some data analysis stuff on occasion. Here are pictures of my extremely doofus tuxedo cat Darien, and my extremely normal tabby cat Desdemona.

A doofy looking tuxedo cat lying in patches of sunlight and scratching at a cardboard cat scratcher. His ears have little enough hair that sunlight shining through them makes them appear to be glowing, and his tail has little enough hair on it to look a bit like a rat's tail.

A quintessential tabby cat is snoozing soundly on a warm heating pad.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 10/10/2024

I have successfully early voted!

An "Ohio Voted" sticker stuck to the front of a jacket.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 09/10/2024

You take on the role of bears at Katmai National Park in Alaska trying to consume as many fishy calories as possible before winter. Roll dice, compete with other bears, and don't get too greedy or you'll loose all the fish you've caught!

A small zine made by folding a single sheet of paper.

The cover of Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble shows a delightful drawing of a bear desperately trying to catch salmon from a river, while the salmon it's already caught wriggle out of its grasp.

Interior pages of a small zine made by folding a single sheet of paper.

Shows the rules for Catching and Gobbling Salmon, and a delighful drawing of a bear happily monching on some salmon.

Unfolded backside of the zine, showing a doodled river with fishing bears alongside. A handful of colorful dice are scattered across the page.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 09/10/2024

Just in time for the tail end of #FatBearWeek I am pleased to announce CHUBBY BEAR SALMON GOBBLE: a push your luck #boardgame about preparing for hibernation. The PDF is free here, you'll just need a load of dice: awkwardturtle.itch.io/chubby-bear-... Bear artwork by @evlynmoreau.bsky.social

CHUBBY BEAR SALMON GOBBLE

A Push Your Luck Game About Preparing For Hibernation

One delightfully chubby bear frantically tries to catch salmon from a river, while already caught fish slip from their grasp. A second chonky bear sit and happily monches on fish.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 30/09/2024

Trying to get some last minute play testing in for my print and play #boardgame so it can be released for #fatbearweek. Art by @evlynmoreau.bsky.social .

A small pocket mod zine titled Chubby Bear Salmon Gobble: A Push Your Luck Game about Preparing for Hibernation. The cover shows a bear frantically trying to catch fish while already caught fish slip from his grasp.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 20/09/2024

Desdemona sleeps in the most normal ways.

A tabby cat snoozing on a heating pad, with her face smooshed into the corner of the window frame. One front paw is pressed against the glass, and the other is bent at a 90 degree angle.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 10/09/2024

Some very exciting #TTRPG mail lately. I am already running Ave Nox out of the PDF, making plans to run Goblin Mail (a perfect tie in with my own goblin based adventure), and stealing all the excellent ideas from The Electrum Archive.

Three RPG books arrayed on a desk next to a glass mug of coffee and a keyboard with wooden and bird themed keycaps.

The books are Ave Nox, The Electrum Archive Issue 2, and Goblin Main.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 04/09/2024

OCEANS 2400 is a cinematic heist #TTRPG hack of @jst.bsky.social's 24XX series of micro games and inspired by Blades in the Dark. I'm pretty proud of the extremely rules light flashback mechanics, and the "alarm die" used to track alertness. Includes some tiny generators for heists (and twists)!

A red, black, and white stylized illustration of a man hanging from a wire interacting with a large, chunky computer. Directly lifted from that one Tom Cruise scene in Mission Impossible.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 03/09/2024

Lady Luck's Traveling Gachapon! A couple years into my current #TTRPG campaign my pack-rat players have accumulated backpacks full of magical nick-nacks with questionable utility. Being the benevolent GM I am, I created this friendly NPC to give them the opportunity to gamble the items away!

Lady Luck's Traveling Gachapon

Lady Luck is a enigmatic figure cloaked in scarves and loose fabric, while her head is a clear gachapon capsule with a happy face floating within.

Her Traveling Gachapon is a claw machine with four mechanical legs, a crystal atop its body, and a gaping toothy maw hungry to feed on magical items.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 02/09/2024

Toss a handful of dice onto a table to instantly generate a forest complete with features, paths, weather, and elevation. On each visit locations appear and old ones are rearranged. Day 4 of my #TTRPG stuff and the text is CC-BY 4.0. The core die drop system would be very easy to reskin or hack!

The Water Feature spread of Echelon Forest, showing a variety of types of points of interest that can be generated. The text is opposite a wood block illustration of a waterfall.

Example of a die drop being turned into a Forest Crawl. Arrows are drawn between each die showing connections, and each die is labeled with the location's name.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 02/09/2024

A Traveler's Guide to the Echelon Forest is a #ttrpg die drop zine about traveling a forest both magical and mundane in the style of a national park guidebook. DTRPG: awkwardturtle.itch.io/echelon-forest Itch: awkwardturtle.itch.io/echelon-forest Riso Zine: store.cairnrpg.com/products/a-t...

Two copies of the Echelon Forest zine outdoors on fallen leaves with the shadows of tree branches stretched across them. One zine shows the cover, the second is open to a spread showing an example forest created from a bunch of dice.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 30/08/2024

Found on Itch and DTRPG: awkwardturtle.itch.io/soverkalt www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/4... There are usually some community copies on the itch page if you'd like to take a look for no money!

A mouse gestures to images of weapons and an allen wrench drawn in the style of an IKEA manual. A dead mouse is crossed out, and several happy mice carry a block of butter.

A diagram of a stone henge like structure assembled from salami sticks and cheese surrounding an upright butter obelisk.

Spaghetti spills from a styrofoam take out container like the tentacles of an elder god.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 30/08/2024

Day 3 of posting my #ttrpg stuff is SÖVERKALT, an IKEA themed pamphlet adventure for #mausritter. Steal past Mold Gremlins and Rot Golems, and avoid waking the Slumbering Spaghetti to make off with the final piece of unspoiled food: a giant Gold Butter Bullion sufficient for a mouse to retire on.

SOVERKALT: An IKEA themed fridge-crawl for Mausritter.

An illustration of a mouse in the style of an IKEA instruction manual, holding an allen wrench as a weapon.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 29/08/2024

Yesterday's post of Wallet Dungeons: bsky.app/profile/awkw...

Translucent dice stacked together into a dungeon layout, next to printed copies of Wallet Dungeons cards.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 29/08/2024

As before, if you want a pdf, text file, or to add to digitial libraries it's on itch and DTRPG. Also as before, it's CC-By 4.0 so steal, change remix and reskin! awkwardturtle.itch.io/wallet-stati... www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/4...

Translucent dice stacked together into the shape of a space station, surrounded by Wallet Stations business cards.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 29/08/2024

Day 2 of posting my #ttrpg stuff is Wallet Stations! It's a sci fi version of yesterday's Wallet Dungeons, where dice are dropped then assembled to generate a space station to visit! This was trickier to write than Dungeons, since Space Stations need to make at least a modicum of "sense".

The front side of the Wallet Stations business card. It uses colors and shapes reminiscent of the computer layout used in Star Trek. Contains these rules:

Create a space station by rolling a handful of six sided dice, then assemble as follows:

1. End Points: Connects to 1 die
2. Connector: Connects to 1 or 2 dice
3. Splitter: Connects to 1, 2, or 3 dice
4. Crossway: Connects to 1, 2, 3, or 4 dice
5. Core: Stack all, must connect to 2+ dice
6. Bay: Merge all, connects to 1 die

For each room, add its value to all connected dice to find its contents. Bays are one room with all dice summed. See back for the Core.

3. Scanning Array
4. Capsule Hotel
5. Hydroponics
6. Spacer Bar
7. Med Clinic
8. Holo VR Room
9. Bio-Processing
10. Auto-Diner
11. Meat Extruder
12. Research Lab
13. Neural Uplink
14. Nano-Forge
15. Terrarium
16. Cloning Tanks
17. Condominiums
18-19. Salvage Shop
20-21. Auto-Factory
22-25. Fuel Refinery
26-30. Repair Dock
31+. Hangar

Place a docking point on an extremity

The backside of the Wallet Stations business card. Shows a diagram of assembled dice plus a map of a space station that corresponds, and the following rules:

The Core’s size indicates power supply, sum the value of all connected dice for contents.

No Core: Solar Panels

One Die: Fission Pile
Even Sum: Artificial Intelligence Core
Odd Sum: Corporate Headquarters

Two Dice: Fusion Reactor
Even Sum: Magnetic Accelerator
Odd Sum: Hyperspace Beacon

Three+ Dice: Hyperspace Tap
Even Sum: Ansible Relay
Odd Sum: Hyper-Scanning Array

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 28/08/2024

Wallet Dungeons is my business card sized dungeon generator for your fantasy #TTRPG. It's been surprisingly popular amongst solo players! Drop a handful of dice, stick them together based on some simple rules, and then read them off to get a place to explore!

Create a dungeon by rolling a handful of six sided dice and assembling based on results:

1. Dead End: Cannot touch more than 1 die
2. Passage: Cannot touch more than 2 dice
3. Split: Cannot touch more than 3 dice
4. Crossroads: Can touch up to 4 dice
5. Tower: Stack all, must touch at least 2 dice
6. Hall: Merge all, can touch up to 4 dice

For each room, add its value to all neighboring dice to find its contents. Halls and Towers are single rooms with all dice summed.

3. Quarters
4. Jail
5. Sepulchre
6. Statuary
7. Store Room
8. Courtyard
9. Kitchen
10. Forge
11. Armory
12. Garden
13. Guard Post
14. Library
15. Arboretum
16. Crypts
17. Shrine
18. Gallery
19. Workshop
20-22. Temple
23-25. Throne Room
26-28. Laboratory
29-31. Menagerie
32+. Labyrinth

Use the difference in values of the two dice where each room connects for the type of doorway.

0: Fully Open
1: Open Doorway
2: Unlocked Door
3: Locked Door
4: Trapped Door
5: Hidden Door

Finish with an entrance where it makes sense

Business cards containing the rules of Wallet Dungeons, a method to generate a dungeon by rolling dice and assembling them. The back of the card gives an example of assembled dice with a small dungeon interior illustrated to show what it represents.

The rules text is in the other attached image's alt text.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/08/2024

It's since been replaced by Five Dollar Footlong Jesus. Fun fact, it's only about an hour's drive from this statue to the iconic HELL IS REAL billboard.

A very tall statue of jesus in front of a church. Jesus is roughly in the classic "five dollar footlong" pose, holding his arms before him as though to show the size of the sandwich.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 01/07/2024

The majority doesn't, but Sotomayor brings up that exact scenario in the dissent.

When he uses his official powers in any way, under the majority’s reasoning, he now will be insulated from criminal prosecution. Orders the Navy’s Seal Team 6 to assassinate a political rival? Immune.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 13/05/2024

It took me *checks calendar* five months, but I finally got the excellent @alexcoggon.bsky.social artwork I picked up at PAXU framed and hung! I asked the framers to make it look like the sort of framed, explorer sketches you'd find hung in an old timey sitting room, and I'm so pleased with it.

A picture frame hung on a wall with three inset pieces of artwork. One is a strange beetle tick with a blood sac enclosed in a bone shell, the other two show juvenile and adult cockatrices.

The frame itself has a slightly worn texture and has a slight metallic sheen.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 13/03/2024

Prepping to run some Brighter Worlds one shots at #BreakoutCon this weekend! Pregen character art by @evlynmoreau.bsky.social. Pocket mod character sheets designed by @brstf.games.

A pile of folded pocket mod character sheets next to a playtest copy of Brighter Worlds and the Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure zine.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 13/02/2024

Written for Brighter Worlds, but with stats for @yochaigal.bsky.social's Cairn, and @themerrymushmen.bsky.social's Common Rules for Adventure Gaming by Knock so it's easy to convert into your system of choice. More copies coming to IglooTree, Exalted Funeral, Indie Press Revolution, & The Lost Bay.

A tuxedo cat sniffs a box of Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure zines.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 13/02/2024

Features cover art by AndyAnimates. Art by @n8hps.bsky.social. Layout, cartography, and additional art by the multitalented @brstf.games. Editing by McKinley Hellenes Krantz. And writing by me! The print copy is done by clatterpress.com a small risograph printer, who knocked it out of the park.

Three copies of "Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure" showing the front cover, rear cover, and a spread of various goblins and the items and weapons they might be carrying.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 13/02/2024

Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure is a madcap fantasy TTRPG adventure of summoned autonomous drones, resourceful goblins, and a down-on-his-luck wizard with a penchant for transdimensional retail therapy. PDF: awkwardturtle.itch.io/wizard-trash... Risograph Zine: store.cairnrpg.com/products/wiz...

Two goblins dressed in modern day clothes ride on, and hang off of, two flying quad copter drones.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 09/02/2024

bsky's open, quote one picture of your cat to promote your cat (is Darien a Wizard Trash or a Goblin Treasure?)

A tuxedo cat with a confused expression on its face sitting in one half of a cardboard box The other half of the box is filled with a colorful zine titled, "Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure".

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 19/01/2024

Just picked up "Wizards Trash, Goblin Treasure" from the printer! The first Brighter Worlds adventure (plus Cairn and CRACK stats) is coming soon!

A box of brightly colored red and blue zines titled Wizard Trash, Goblin Treasure.

The cover shows a group of goblins fleeing, and harassing, some flying quad copter drones. An open spread shows a series of globins in various outfits.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 25/12/2023

After some back and forth with a friend about "gamer christmas" on discord, I have crated the ultimate gaming holiday greeting.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 03/12/2023

The rumors are true! I found Yochai and got a copy!

The Cairn 2E players guide, playtest booklet lays on a table next to a cup of coffee.

The cover shows a small band of adventurers being chased up a tree by a large monster.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/11/2023

I was reminded this morning that I've written a whole-ass Kiss From A Rose one page TTRPG. Good times. There is like one actually good rpg design idea in here (the "unwrapped" encounter table) that I sorta want to try to use elsewhere. awkwardturtle.itch.io/a-kiss-from-...

A Kiss From A Rose - A Micro RPG about strength, vulnerability, and asking for help.

The rules are presented on a parchment textured background, with an old timey illustration of a rose as decoration.

For the full rules text see the PDF at the itch link in the skeet.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 04/11/2023

Sometimes Darien almost convinces us he's got deep thoughts inside of his little cat noggin.

The same tuxedo cat now turns to face the camera, gazing at the viewer with hooded eyes. He radiates a sense of disapproval.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 19/10/2023

Some small TTRPG items I'd previously posted over on mastadon, based on artwork from @perplexingruins.bsky.social 's patreon! They're stat-less (outside of a Cairn or ITO or Brighter Worlds style damage die on the weapons) and should be usable in anything fantasy-ish.

The Hard-Headed Hammer

d8 damage

A simple stone hammer engraved with a skull and diamonds. Its wielder once returned to life after using it to smash up Death's boat, rather than crossing the Black River.

If you die while wielding this weapon, Death will always offer you a deal to return you to life in exchange for handing over this hammer.
Death wants it as a trophy after the boat incident.

The illustration shows a hammer with a simple wooden handle, and a roughly hewn squared stone head with engraved diamonds and a skull. The base of the handle is wrapped with cord and has a spike attached to the bototm.

The Warlord's Helm of Comfort

The Warlord Kelthsis once complained that the worst part of campaigns of conquest was being away from the comforts of her home.

An ambitious enchanter, attempting to curry favor with the Warlord, crafted the Helm of Comfort. No matter where, when the Helm's wearer goes to sit down a throne made of fluffy clouds is summoned beneath them to provide a seat of unsurpassed luxury.

The enchanter's unfortunate habit of nervous laughter lead to Kelthsis believing she was being mocked, and to the craftsman's subsequent execution. Despite this, Kelthsis was rarely seen without the Helm while traveling.

The illustration shows a metal helmet with slightly mismatched animal horns mounted to the sides. The eye slots have menacing sharp corners, and a spiked plate is attached to the forehead.

Vestige of the Slayer

d8 damage

A sword forged as a dragon's bane, and used to slay the ancient Wyrm of Burning Judgment. Although the sword's original magic was fully spent during the successful, but fatal, fight against the Wyrm some of its wielder's spirit remains.

The remnants of the original wyrm slayer lingers to give the current wielder expert guidance. While held, a single question asked about a dangerous beast will be answered accurately, but no further questions may be asked until that beast is defeated.

The illustration shows a simple sword pierced into a hilltop. The sword has slightly glowing runes engraved into its blade and hilt.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/09/2023

One final note, it's not *just* that the overlapping cones are brighter. The dark lines disappear if you remove the falloff so the cones are flat laterally, at least for me. The gradient plays into the visuals. (Also, apologies for how the prior plot looks a bit like a nipple.)

Simulated scene as above, but with flat sources.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/09/2023

This example with only two lights maybe illustrates it a bit better. You can see the small dip right before the two lights start to overlap. I feel fairly satisfied with this explanation, even if this doesn't have any degree of rigor. Thank you for coming with me on this journey of discovery.

An example showing two lights overlapping, generating dark lines at the edges.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/09/2023

Add a bunch of these "lights" and dark lines appear on the edges! There's' a minima in brightness at the overlaps, but it's never actually darker than one light alone. So not quite an illusion: real minima, but a bit of an illusion: the line still looks much darker than the single light area.

A simulated version of the above, showing the dark line illusion.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/09/2023

Here's the image above, but flattened to black & white, with the brightness plotted at two lines. The smoke adds enough noise that it's hard to see exactly what's going on, but at least we can see it's brighter in the overlaps, and there's maybe a hint of a dip at the edges?

Greyscale version of the above image, with scan lines showing brightness values.

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AwkwardTurtle @awkwardturtle.games · 21/09/2023

I recently saw The Postal Service & Death Cab For Cutie in Boston with @weeshtable.bsky.social and @brstf.games. The show was fantastic, had a wonderful time! But I'm an optics guy, and a nerd, so something odd caught my eye. Why are there dark lines where two light overlap?

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