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bonerheimer

@awfullymatt.bsky.social
36 followers 82 following 262 posts

this monster wanders the bodega, sucking dry any creatures it may encounter

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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
"Fifteen grand for a toy bird?" I muse with a dry chuckle, scanning the vacancy of the landlord's fridge. "Such a shame, really."
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
me n the boys when we finally get our hands on John LLM
static.klipy.com
Jojos Bizarre Adventure Milton Jojo
Alt: Jojos Bizarre Adventure characters kicking a guy on the ground
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Onimusha: Get This Fuckin' Thing Off My Arm
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
ah the ol "nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo" defence.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
half of comedy is just being stoked you're not a different guy who sucks
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
modern surveillance is really good at catching a guy who ate a "kills-you-to-death sandwich" and not so much at catching the guy who put the death in there to start
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
your honor, this battle is null-and-void. he threw a brick at my head while i was explaining my powers of omnipotence.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
guy named "biscus angravy" now that's a real man
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
just heard spencer cox declared today "big booty bitches day". absolute legend
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
be true to yourself
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
don't talk to me or my sons ever again
Tony Tony Chopper and his sons Krillin Krillin Chopper and Tony Tony Krillin
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
hey did anyone see that???????????
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
perhaps we should stop asking WHY the chicken crossed the road and start asking WHY the chicken crossed the road
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I'm crashing out
An image of a troglodyte's reddit post wherein they dont understand basic literary tropes, in this instance specifically that hobbits fucking LOVE being cozy as hell.
"All that glitters is gold" is a smashmouth lyric, not a revelation.
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Travis Hymas @travishymas.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I have played Roco Kingdom and this might be the one that actually challenges the house Pikachu built. More @butwhytho.net : butwhytho.net/2026/08/roco...
butwhytho.net
‘Roco Kingdom’ Could Be The Next Big Thing - Hands-On Impressions
MoreFun Studios and Tencent's Roco Kingdom may finally be a game capable of being able to stand alongside the brand Pikachu built.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Avengers endgame redux comes with 14 never-before-seen minutes of Tony Stark in hell using a device called the "suckenfuckenator" to "hack Ultron"
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
>brew cool POE build >hmm not as much damage as id like >google how to get more damage >ai tells me to collect all 120 stars >reddit says 50% this build's dmg is from "Buttfuck's Decree" >google how to get "buttfucks decree" >ai tells me how to get a buttfucking degree >reddit says women shouldn--
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
cheddar cheee
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
watching spider-man go through puberty like
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
this but with summer sausages and we're all going to eat the summer sausages right after
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Rooster sauce is the worst Sriracha hands down
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
What if 🤔 we kissed 💏 by the Duncan Idaho🇺🇸 machine??? 🤯🥵
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Travis Hymas @travishymas.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
of course I had to talk about Shadowheart (and the other Lairs, I GUESS)
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
me: baybee gurl, how do i look in my dOOOooo rag? 🎵 thundercat: please untie me i told you everything i know please me: it's dragon ball like gohan :]
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Jack Bernhardt @jackbern.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard
hateful woman JK Rowling - "Iran appears to be unusually full of Gryffindors"
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
a fish called Wanda a giraffe called Cosmo a sociopath called Timmy some lil baby thing called poop i guess idk i stopped watching anyway officer, that's who the assassins are i saw it all
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
*hyping myself up*: ok just act like you've been here before butt doctor: you HAVE and i wish you would stop
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but mine is a serial arsonist and that's relatively new in the grand scheme of things
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
[God creating dogs] Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
Gamefaqs final fantasy X guide by split infinity
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
introducing SMEAGOL, an app that lets you step away from being a weird lil object-obsessed freak for a while and just be a weird lil regular freak!
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
i have no mouth and i must yodel
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
me: your honor, I'd like to call in a character witness judge: proceed me: hmm perhaps bug bunny??? defense: Objection!!! judge: overruled, proceed Mr bug Bug bunny: hey doc yea i sawr 'im kill da broad me: haha wabbit season
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
make a bond movie casual From Russia But Just As Friends
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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 18/11/2025
If I won the lottery, I wonder how much money I'd spend on oboe lessons for my dogs.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
all the king's men??? too many men. that's your problem right there. and then you added horses? they don't even have thumbs dipshit.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
if i was stranger things i would give cecna a suplex
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
Matrix Inc. feat. Mike Wachowski
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
why wouldn't i look a gift horse in the mouth?? could be a GameCube in there
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
Batman's in the kitchen Robin's in the hall They've not spoken since the affair came to light Alfred weeps while he sweeps It is a dark night, indeed
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
me: i've gathered you all here because you are the top experts in your respective fields. the world is in dire peril. my neighbor howard: but it's just me here me: i did not have much time for research.
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
Vibrating in Ubbi Dubbi while I tele-mop the foyer
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
The Grinch Who Passed the Three Ancient Tribulations and Claimed His Ascent to Godhood
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Busiaco @busia.co · 19/12/2025
I shrunk myself and entered your cranium via your ear, and plumbed your lobes until I discovered the locus of lesser retrospection. There I rerouted certain axons to induce a brief fugue. It took me four hundred years and many fatal errors to learn this skill. But sure, call it a "brain fart."
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
hey siri, turn off politics for 24 hours, i'm wrestling a cop for my life right now and he looks like he does push-ups so this is gonna require all my attention
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
we calculate lengths in football fields and costs in penises. god bless america.
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Kelsey Atherton @atherton.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
An F-35 pilot's helmet costs roughly 3 penises
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bonerheimer @awfullymatt.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
inventing a new level of man-spreading called man-splatting where you jump off a 30 story building just to be inconvenient
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Travis Hymas @travishymas.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
like I'm sure everywhere else, I tried my hand at thinking about The Force Awakens now a decade later: inbetweendrafts.com/star-wars-th...
inbetweendrafts.com
'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' 10 years later - InBetweenDrafts
'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' turns ten today, which is cause for reflection on how despite being good, it was the beginning of the end.
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