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Aspen Junge

@aspenjunge.bsky.social
265 followers 262 following 2.7K posts

Trying to save the world one carefully crafted briefing memo at a time. I read phone books for a living.

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Miaganga @miaganga.bsky.social · 7h
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Emily L. Hauser (she/her) ❌👑 @emilylhauser.bsky.social · 9h
YOU GUYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! THAT BLUE THING IS WHERE WE LIVE!!!!!
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Sandieglo @sandieglo.bsky.social · 11h
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omgisme @omgisme.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
When the neighborhood bully meets the real OG . 🤣
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 7h
My local shelter lets you check out a dog like a library book and take them on a li'l adventure.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 8h
They go low, we punch them in their now conveniently reachable throats.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 8h
When Hilary talked about the "vast right wing conspiracy," she was speaking literal truth, too.
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Anthony of the Badlands @mosasaurologist.bsky.social · 10h
It's occurred to me just how much donated time and specimen material I've participated in for the Sternberg Museum. This project from 2009 started with a call for some excavation assistance and resulted in a new genus of fish
Massive jacket of yellow-brown fish bones in yellow chalk. The fins are about 3 feet long each
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 8h
The Sternberg is one of my top 2 natural history museums. And I grew up in Dyche.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
i feel this more and more every day
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Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 8h
It would be great if everyone in the Trump administration weren’t the worst fucking people on the face of the earth. Also would be great if mainstream media treated them as such, and not as just normal conservatives that you might happen to disagree with.
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 11h
@Amtrak_CA

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson

@porkbelt

.@Amtrak_CA With all due respect, this is terrible advice for trains
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 9h
Yes, please
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Dave Dustin @dustin.nz · 07/10/2026
"YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK"
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 12h
I miss Eisenhower. A Republican who understood the proper approach towards Nazis.
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LAFAYETTE @lastudiolafayette.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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bryan newbold @bnewbold.net · 07/10/2026
ah damn, RIP Margaret Hamilton. she took safety-critical software engineering seriously, and got people to the moon and back. news.mit.edu/2026/margare...
old photos of a woman (Margaret Hamilton) standing next to a tall stack of books (printouts of Apollo space mission software source code)
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Barb McQuade @barbmcquade.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It’s October and the neighbors are back with #SkeletonCrew. Strong start!
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Free Cats Daily😻 @freecatsdaily.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Fire breathing cat #Cat #Caturday
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 14h
they did the thing
an october 11 2025 post from me reading: every single tech idea is like “soon our robots will be capable of playing catch with your kid, freeing you up to spend more time working on your employers’ spreadsheets”
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Jax (the original) @jacqueline321.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 13h
I had oatmeal for breakfast and it was delicious. 1/2 cup each milk (of your choice) in a pot, bring to boil. Turn off heat, add 1/2 cup rolled oats, hefty pinch of salt, handful of raisins, handful of toasted almonds. Stir, put on lid, set timer for 10 minutes, go do something else until timer.
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ebisback.bsky.social @ebisback.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
💥🎃🤣
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 13h
Mine manifests as blinding headaches I have to sleep off.
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lorem ipsum 🇧🇷🇺🇸 @whiskeynachos.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
A lot of people who would have been dead husbands in the 50's have misplaced nostalgia for the days before no-fault divorce.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Potatoes and eggs are delicious.
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I 💙 Dogs @dogs100.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It’s a jungle out there….
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
So looking forward to the Trump episode of This Guy Sucks.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Can't until next week. But I've already scheduled my day off to work the election.
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Veronica McDonald @veronicamcdonald.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
MAHA, 2026: We've got to eat healthy! No more preservatives! Clean foods and healthy living! Exercise! Michelle Obama, 2009-2017: We've got to eat healthy! No more preservatives! Clean foods and healthy living! Exercise! "MAHA," 2009-2017: B*TCH DON'T TELL US WHAT TO EAT! *eats fast food & soda*
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LAFAYETTE @lastudiolafayette.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Michelle says: Be kind. Always. ❤️ @snarkysillysad.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
#AGoodPlace
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
I think it's bad that the country is led by people who haven't had a real problem in their entire lives and couldn't get a regular job due to being too weird
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
If it's the fridge, it's my cat.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Because "seriously, not literally," is a get out of jail free card.
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Twonks @twonks.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Rattlesnakes
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Shepherd @neolithicsheep.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN
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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 18/11/2024
I'm old fashioned. I believe you should hand write all 5000 pages of your manifesto.
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paulpro @mariopro.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
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Jared Pechaček @vandroidhelsing.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
October issue
The cover of Vizier Monthly with a shapely big-haired woman in a loose blue gown with a trailing yellow scarf, seated in a throne-like chair. Headlines around her read:
"Some of us are hot": Urda the Fair on the Politics of Pleasure
Ladies of Miss Rule: Tyranny knows no gender!
Oh My Goddess! Simple Ways to Make Him Worship You
Poison Rings: Hot or Not?
It's Lit! Arson, Parliament, and You
So You've Been Overthrown: 10 Tricks to Get Back on Top
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
That's perfect!
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
A fraternity group chat in deep blue Ithaca, NY might seem like a strange place to meet Trump supporters. But in between texts describing crimes, there are a few claiming that DEI is the reason ketamine is $200 an ounce.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
There's a US House candidate forum this weekend. I plan to attend just to ask the question, "Are you brave enough to impose CONSEQUENCES?"
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Funranium (AKA Phil Broughton) @funranium.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I regret to inform everyone that last week's bullshit remains bullshit today. Unless dealt with, the bullshit will continue.
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twist @pvdork.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Which would probably make me a really bad defense attorney.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
My least favorite storytelling genre is Stupid People Making Bad Decisions.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Is it buying votes if he has no intention of paying?
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I got my COVID shot yesterday and this morning I feel like I was stuffed in a barrel and rolled downhill. Suck it up and get stabbed.
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Aspen Junge @aspenjunge.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I keep remembering Churchill; that America will do the right thing eventually, we just have to try all the wrong things first.
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