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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast

@alex.xskj.org
510 followers 391 following 759 posts

my lungs fill up with fluid every time the seasons change [he/him]

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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 06/08/2026
a parody of the mr. men and little miss series of books

MR. "HOW FUCKING MUCH?!"
by Roger Hargreaves

below the text is a drawing of a squiggly pink cartoon character who appears to be shaking. his eyes are two hollow black dots, and his mouth is a larger hollow black dot. he looks shocked.
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 05/07/2026
a man with a handlebar mustache wearing a chef's uniform and hat in ferrari red with the ferrari logo on it loads a gun with dried penne pasta and puts it to his temple. "mama mia" he says plaintively.
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 12/06/2026
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 05/06/2026
i've had some deeply confusing 81-1 runs
82-0 lineup:

80s pistons isiah thomas
10s lakers kobe bryant
10s raptors kawhi leonard
10s cavaliers lebron james
60s warriors wilt chamberlain

82-0 lineup:

60s royals oscar robertson
20s mavericks luka doncic
00s sonics/thunder kevin durant
90s kings chris webber
80s rockets moses malone82-0 lineup (picture share was screwed so i screenshotted this one, but it was somehow only 81-1):

70s lakers jerry west
80s bulls michael jordan
60s warriors rick barry
20s celtics jayson tatum
20s spurs victor wembanyama
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 04/05/2026
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 19/04/2026
oh my lord
a series of posts and replies by the same user, all posted three hours ago. 

the first is the OP, in reply to someone who blocked them. 

the second is "adorable," in reply to furry art of a humanoid bat. 

the third is "Seems like you worry too much, on the other hand I would smooch. But I really hope you don't have bedbugs, they suck, literally." in reply to someone who blocked them. 

the fourth is a standalone post, and reads "Really hoping I can see my mother before she passes. But I also hope that I can get a job with the company that let me go months ago. Shit's weird, bro."
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 03/04/2026
an ikea djungelskog soft toy brown bear buckled into the passenger seat of a car, ready to go on a journey
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 07/03/2026
the pulmonary clinic i went to as a child was gifted a ton of jiminy cricket memorabilia when i was about 10, so every room was full of stuff like this. i probably have more pictures somewhere but here's one
a framed jiminy cricket character sheet, labeled "how to draw jiminy cricket" on top and "disneyland 1990 big party tour" on bottom. it has instructions for drawing jiminy cricket and a size comparison between him and other disney characters like mickey mouse and goofy
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 15/02/2026
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 08/02/2026
homer simpson lying on the couch and smoking a cigar, saying "boy... everyone is stupid except me"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 02/01/2026
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 26/12/2025
boy do i love to cook. merry christmas everyone
christmas dinner spread with a roast leg of lamb as the centerpiece. surrounding it are chimichurri, roast potatoes, green beans, and yorkshire puddings with onion gravya dinner plate made up with each of the things in the previous picturea homemade yule log that's kind of sloppy looking but honestly still much better than i expecteda slice of the aforementioned yule log
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 26/12/2025
EVERYBODY CHRISTMAS STEVE
trump yelling at a child mowing the white house lawn
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 24/12/2025
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 22/12/2025
"you have to be a sick individual to want to date a grad student in that situation" bobby:
bobby petrino, former football coach of the arkansas razorbacks among others, at an arkansas press conference. he is wearing a very bulky neck brace and a shit-eating grin, and his face looks like he stuck it in a tanning booth for three straight days.
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 25/11/2025
Evan Fournier @EvanFourmizz

Yo squirrels in massachusetts aren't normal size. What y'all feeding them

11:04 04 Jun 21
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 15/11/2025
it really felt like a wednesday
screenshot of my new york times crossword puzzle result from friday nov 14th, because i'm insufferable 

Congratulations!

You finished a Friday puzzle in

06:03

19 Day Streak

09:56 Faster than your average
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 23/10/2025
joel embiid more like joel embreed
a poorly photoshopped image featuring joel embiid's head superimposed onto a person who is lovingly embracing their own very pronounced baby bump
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 13/10/2025
BAM
emeril lagasse on the set of his food network show "emeril live"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 19/09/2025
an edited version of the iconic "aurora borealis" scene from steamed hams (the simpsons). superintendent chalmers points past seymour skinner towards a door marked with the flag of the UK. text at the bottom reads "good lord, what is happening in there?!"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 17/09/2025
little bampton, a grey and white cat, sitting on a chair looking at the camera with a disappointed stare. text below her reads "555-come-on-now"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 04/09/2025
the san francisco armory, iykyk
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 02/09/2025
a meme showing party paraphernalia with the words "diva down!" superimposed
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 30/08/2025
the above photo of uni the cat, edited with text to look like the cover of the deftones album "around the fur"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 30/08/2025
payton tolle, WHEW
tweet from donald trump (@realdonaldtrump) dated 11 nov 2017. the tweet reads "it's big boy season"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 19/08/2025
jae crowder helped
jae crowder gives john wall a boop on the nose
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 10/08/2025
h/t @pixelatedboat.bsky.social
three panel comic

first panel: a child walks by an open manhole, out of which comes the dialog "this pizza is bodacious!"

second panel: the child says "cool, a ninja turtle!" and crouches down to look into the manhole

third panel: knee deep in refuse and covered in brown stains, a strangely turtle-shaped man wearing a red bandana over his eyes like raphael stands in the sewer next to an open pizza box and waves upwards. "oh, i'm no ninja turtle. i'm just a regular guy who lives in the sewer, covered in human shit. i live like this as penance for my sins. cowabunga!"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 31/07/2025
cj @TOS_Violator 9/12/21


the only lasting 9/11 memory i have is when the budweiser ad with the kneeling clydesdales came on during the super bowl and i said "those horses are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 24/07/2025
he's here and he's perfect. i will cherish him forever and protect him with my life. thank you so much @chefmaeda.bsky.social
a white My Animal plush. he has four legs, a proboscis, and two dark, inscrutable eyes. i have named him narp
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 04/07/2025
ok these people rock
reddit post on r/Retconned from user nsfcom with the title "Movie name : The Curious Case of Benjamin Franklin/button". below the title is a screenshot of a google search bar with "the curious case of benjamin f" filled in and "the curious case of benjamin franklin" as the first suggestion, as if to say that this is proof that the movie used to be about benjamin franklin
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 23/06/2025
tweet from kevin durant reading "erykah badu thicker than a kindergarten pencil". he posted this on july 2nd 2011, after having already been a 2x NBA scoring champion and 2x all-NBA first team member. he is a true posting legend
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 15/06/2025
kermit the frog putting his hand on pepe the king prawn's shoulder. top text in impact font says "ima keep it real with u chief!!". bottom text says "no"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 12/06/2025
"blurry lurking background pishi" in the style of the teenage mutant ninja turtles logo
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 11/06/2025
article headline reading "2023 is 'deadliest year' for Palestinian children say human rights groups" dated 06 October 2023. the date is circled
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 08/06/2025
an article from the onion with an image of a young white man in a dress shirt and blazer whose blond hair is visibly receding. the headline reads "GOP maintains solid hold on youth that already look like old men"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 06/06/2025
forgiveness is what happened
Carl from llamas with hats saying "That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence."
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 06/06/2025
philippe from achewood, a young cartoon otter, running in special shoes that say "here comes a special boy" every time he takes a step
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 05/06/2025
it just gets better and better!
tweet from prominent nazi kanye west reading "Broooos please noooooo 🫂  We love you both so much"

he is presumably referring to the big blowup fight between the giant man babies trump and elon
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 03/06/2025
message to elon musk
tweet from nathan fielder reading "why don't you pee in your pants then suck the pee out of the fabric"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 27/05/2025
ok you think all drug addicts deserve to die. i don't think anyone deserves to die, but if i did, people who publicly post shitty porno books under their legal name would be near the top of my list
post by bradley simpson featuring an amazon affiliate link for a terrible looking book called "jungle king". the artwork is a woman's torso in a bikini top with comically large breaststwo more amazon affiliate posts from bradley simpson with shitty artwork of scantily clad women with ludicrous body proportions
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 12/05/2025
in the lung transplant clinic at the hospital for an evaluation appointment and i'm not supposed to touch anything but i'm SO curious as to what that could POSSIBLY be
wall-mounted rack with folders in it. the top and bottom folders have fairly standard labels for a hospital, "booking," and "spanish consent" respectively, but the middle folder is labeled "soft & moist" for some reason???
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 22/04/2025
that's wally's blood
red sox mascot wally the green monster interacting with fans at fenway park. he is a beautiful round green fella with an orange nose and eyebrows, wearing a red sox uniform. we love him dearly.
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 20/04/2025
man whispering to george w bush that a second plane has hit the towers on 9/11
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 19/04/2025
"it is one of the Basic meats Of no offense to anybody" pops into my head whenever someone mentions chicken
beef from achewood holding a phone and saying

"Oh uh no Ray can't nobody be allergic to chicken

It is one of the Basic meats Of no offense to anybody"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 19/04/2025
dril tweet that simply reads "no"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 09/04/2025
h/t @hausofdecline.bsky.social
A man at as business meeting says to another man across the table "you may be renowned for your negotiation skills, but we will not go any higher than 12%" The man across the table reaches into his briefcase with a sly expression. He pulls out a gun and with a smug grin, puts it up to his own temple. The first man, annoyed, says "fine. fine. we'll go to 15%" His business partner says "see? that's why he's the best."
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 29/03/2025
tweet from user "dr charlotta lofqvist, s.j." (@jon_snow_420) dated 18:54 on 28 oct 2015 reading

"god: i have made Mankind
angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 18/03/2025
tweet from @jawbroken on november 7 2010 reading "November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone"
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 27/02/2025
they're doing this to me in about 10 mins
yours truly with a tremendous bedhead in a hospital pre-op bay with various equipment in the background
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alex, jiminy cricket enthusiast @alex.xskj.org · 21/02/2025
i'm sorry, are you trying to tell me *this* guy was on substances?
bobby portis with the glassy-eyed stare of a man with nothing to lose. his eyes are popping out of his head and he genuinely looks like he knows how human flesh tastes
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