iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Marketing email from the Jacksonville Jaguars, with a title that sounds more like a threat than an invitation.

Jacksonville Jaguars. You've experienced NFL Football at Wembley. Now do it again.

000

Still find it crazy that Suella Braverman had a successful legal career. I wouldn't back her to win an argument if the opposition was led by a Speak & Spell.

000

Your BlueSky post has been reposted by TrueResistance99%, PLEASE HELP RIGHT NOW - MY FAMILY IS TRAPPED IN A WELL, and Graham Davies.

000

The FIFA Panini Collection experience is over. Managed to get my album up to 91%. Annoyingly close. And now it’s all over, you can see the complete virtual album anyway. One of the most futile experiences I’ve ever had. It’s Scotland at the World Cup all over again.

End screen for the FIFA Panini Collection experience, telling me there’s lots more fun on the FIFA website. I’ll take their word for it.

000

Mascot Texorcism 🐯 @texsaber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Is that supposed to sound good? Am I supposed to want that life? “Business travel by train is time well spent.” Is it? ‘Finish menial work on your own time and feed the social media addiction which robs you of any relaxation or cultural enrichment, for just £35, if you book in advance for 6am.’ Woo.

Bus Stop advert for Avanti West Coast. 15:38 to London Euston. Calling at Open Laptop, Follow-up email, finish spreadsheets, close laptop, pick up novel…put down novel, quick social media scroll, tiny bit more scrolling, open novel again, page 2. Business travel by train is time well spent.

001

Reposted by Alan

I've had this stupid joke in my head for the past 3 weeks, I had to put it into drawing

Theatrical poster for "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me," except the portrait of Laura Palmer is replaced with a Walkling from the game Big Walk, and the film name is replaced with "Big Walk with Me"

3251861604

The Author, Séamas O'Reilly @seamas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I imagine there’s a bin of returned remote controls at Sky that looks like this.

000

Reposted by Alan

If you're in my GP's office any time soon, prepare yourself for what many are calling the greatest mnemonic of all time. Come for E and P, but sit down and clap for I.

A screen in my GP's office advertising a mnemonic of signs to spot SEPSIS.

S slurred speech of confusion
E extreme shivering or muscle pain
P passing no urine all day
S severe breathlessness
I ot feels like you are going to die
S skin mottled or discoloured

621731349

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Imagine still fuming almost a week later that you had to watch the BBC England women’s rugby coverage (which they’re under zero obligation to actually cover) through a slightly different method than normal. ‘Waaaah my 50p a day only got me iPlayer coverage of an international Test match!’ Diddums.

Geordieboy
19:58

Why should we pay for the BBC when it broadcasts films which are over 60 years old rather than giving prominence to the World Champion women’s’ rugby team in their recent internationals with the second and third ranked teams in the world. Both were absolute crackers of games but, for some reason were on the iPlayer not one of the main channels

110

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

It’s not even in the top thousand of examples, but there can’t be another country out there that’s self-sabotaging itself every single day like the USA. Lunatic moves left, right and centre: edition.cnn.com/2026/09/29/u...

edition.cnn.com

TSA officers now not allowed to sit down while checking boarding passes and IDs | CNN

Airport security employees checking boarding passes and IDs will no longer be allowed to sit down while working, the Transportation Security Administration confirmed Tuesday.

000

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

It’s not a show I follow, but it is a bit of an arsehole move for the BBC website to run Bake-Off spoilers as entertainment headlines. Name in the headline and a photo of them as the image. You can’t tell folk to stay off all of the internet.

000

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

You’d have to be an actual psychopath

Heart Xmas radio station playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin’ Stevens on Sep 30th.

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Crazy that folk say there's a lack of affordable housing out there: www.futurepropertyauctions.co.uk/property_det...

A hatchway to an old army observation bunker. Opening bid 24k.

000

Reposted by Alan

Michael Balazo @mbalazo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“Hello, police? I’d like to report a slightly sad story.”

3717

The rule makers have made football so complicated for what is a very simple game. The double jeopardy stuff has never been clearly communicated or consistently enforced. The commentary on that Jack Hendry red card felt like two guys trying to remember biology lessons they learned at school.

100

$200 to look like the woman in those mobile game ads who has to choose between boarding the window up or throwing the planks on the fire.

I don't know if we can restore hope or belief to British politics, but I sure wouldn't mind a bit of nuanced analysis coming back. All I'm reading today is that Burnham has either single-handedly rescued these sceptred isles or condemned every pensioner to death.

000

RAF Fairford incident involves 'foreign actor', says Rubio

Not sure the BBC website needs to cover what Marco Rubio thinks as its top story. The man probably thinks a lot of things. Give us a bell when he knows something. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

bbc.co.uk

In a television interview the US Secretary of State mentioned Iran, which has denied any involvement

032

Seen a lot of blokey blokes commenting elsewhere that Henry Pollock wouldn't have survived in the days of 'proper rugby', along with some very fresh jokes about his surname. So fresh. Having said that, it does feel like the head has literally gone a bit.

000

Evri continues to be the actual worst.

Evri Customer Services Chatbot asking me to rate my chat experience out of 5. I have gone for 1. When asked to explain why, I have written that it is useless automated slop. Because it is. The chatbot has thanked me for my feedback.

000

"Germany still winless under Klopp after loss to Greece" Two games, BBC. Calm your nips.

000

I don't think the current main generation of UK Twitter users are ready for the Banned Generation growing up and telling them that social media has warped their minds.

000

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

There was a time in UK politics - honestly, a better time - where Nigel Farage would have to instantly resign for the inflammatory and baseless bollocks he was hitting out with over the RAF Fairford situation. Sad the police have to rush info out now specifically to quell his knuckle-dragging cabal.

031

Israel FA Head of Communications trying his level best to get the Ireland fans back onside. Can’t imagine Ken would be delighted to be dragged into things.

Barzel also confirmed the IFA intend to appeal both yellow cards shown to Sayed Abu Farhi in Thursday's 3-1 defeat by Austria.
Abu Farhi was shown a second yellow for his goal celebration which Barzel insists was not mimicking the firing of a gun, but an "imitation of a snooker player, like the legendary Ken Doherty."

Going to have to find something to do next Saturday with #SNLUK on a week off. Shame, as it feels like it kills the momentum of what is only a six-show run.

#SNLUK audience loving the 9/11 gag, but not the Iraq War one. That’s a weird barrier to have. Someone in that writing room sure loves a joke about sexual abuse in prison.

020

I think part of the reason I’m enjoying #SNLUK this week is the writing feels so tight. The sketches all have decent concepts, jokes and end points/punchlines. There’s very little time wasted getting stuff going, and they haven’t dragged on. And the performances are all strong.

140

CursèdZebra @cursedzebra.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Really enjoying #SNLUK so far this week. I love when they do the truly bizarre stuff like that fake Babybel advert every so often.

030

Reposted by Alan

These cars are far too 'smart' (derogatory) #f1

171

Top 10 F1 closest finishes

Even wilder when you consider all the close finishes in the early 2000s were orchestrated by the Ferrari team or drivers. Nice to have one between two different teams, albeit I still think it wasn’t a great race: www.autosport.com/f1/news/top-...

autosport.com

With George Russell leading Max Verstappen by just 0.196s over the line at the Azerbaijan GP, we take a look at the 10 closest finishes in F1 history

000

My partner lies to me at least once a week. But given that the lie is always “I’m not about to fall asleep!”, then I guess it’s easy enough to deal with. You’d think after all these years it maybe would have twigged with them though that they are actually about to fall asleep.

000

YouTube is so desperate to skip you onto another video the very instant that the previous one ends. It’s just reduced me to shouting at the screen “I was READING that, you RUDE C***!”

000

Is there any chance that, just before it wipes out the plant, AI could be used to make bits of the football pitch in shade decently visible? Watching Slovenia v Scotland, and half the game is being played out under a Fog Of War.

220

Surprised Crofty didn’t describe the winning margin as ten one hundredths of a second.

000

“Penny for the thoughts of Flávio Briatore” Any team crash that screws that man over is the mildest form of karma he deserves.

000

Crofty is commentating like he promised a mafia boss that the Red Bulls were definitely going to swap places.

000

If I got a pound every time I saw the Now TV ‘oops’ screen, I’d be up on the deal overall.

Now TV screen telling me there’s been a playback error and to please try again. There’s some character wearing horns in a cafe. I don’t know the reference.

000

I thought we’d all agreed that Arrested Development ran from 2003-2006. Three perfect seasons.

000

Big day for ‘I don’t live in Glasgow, or Scotland, or even Britain anymore, but the current city council situation has confirmed I’m right to hate whichever political party I hate.’

110

Great data. Thank goodness for AWS.

F1 - Ocon hitting a wall in qualifying, with an AWS caption measuring the distance to the wall as 0cm, and analysis of “Too close to the wall”

100

Alan @alanhazlie.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I know they’ve got a point, but after about a week of seeing folk crying about it I’m half-hoping they open a vape shop on the other side of the Willow/MacKintosh Tea Rooms as well.

100

Going to be a few folk in Edinburgh wondering if a vet will accept NHS dental patients.