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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 12h

Looks like that eliminates St. Bishop from playoff contention. Tough night for the Cardinals.

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C H I L I @chili.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

*Schoolly D voice* lookin at Gaddafi it’s about that time

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Mur-der Kro-ger 👏 👏 👏👏👏

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Inadvertently training the FBI on grooming UFC fans into terrorism charges

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

He's berated our campaign office about abandoning trans people a half dozen times but I bet if we email him a close up of James Carville's head sack he'll give us $12

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Will pope was oversized and they needed a pope that could cover the slot on passing downs

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Do you like the Made-in nonstick pans? Love their stainless but haven't tried the non-stick and it's time to replace a couple.

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Announced the same day my towels got here. I got Business Prison'd (complimentary)

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

we been drinking Heavy Dew for years

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mike taddow @miketaddow.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

i’m sorry, but i have to post this political ad

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

gonna need to read a dozen columns about horseshoe theory from esteemed opinion writers that live in the horseshoe factory before I can piece this all together

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Does Bradley even have a game tomorrow?

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Haven't listened yet but I'd like to wish everyone a happy Scott Frost day

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I thought this was just beautiful. Kurt Vonnegut takes a walk to mail a letter:

She calls out, “Where are you going?” And I say, “I am going out to get an envelope.” And she says, “Well, you’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in a closet.” And I say, “Hush.”

I go next to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of 47th Street and Second Avenue. The woman behind the counter says, “Thirty-nine cents for a stamp.” I say, “I only brought thirty-seven. When did that change?” She looked at me a long time. “Thirty-seven isn’t enough.” “Well that oughta be enough for one envelope,” I said. The line was getting longer.

The lady moved her hand into her coat. I knew this routine. I backflipped behind the man behind me in line, wrapping my elbow around his throat as I landed. By the time the stamp seller had unloaded her clip, I had full cover. The gentleman’s body dropped to the floor, six holes smoking. The package he was carrying fell to the floor with a heavy clunk. Whatever was in there, it would do.

I rolled my foot over the cardboard and did a “flick up” as they call it in soccer. I bounced the package once or twice on the back of my foot as the mail lady reloaded, then I launched it high and spun 360 to deliver my patented “Rising Phoenix kick”. The package caught fire as it shattered through the protective plexiglass window and struck the woman’s head with all the force and hatred I had learned to channel in my grueling tutelage under five fallen Wudang masters in my youth. The lady’s body exploded off of her bones, leaving just a blackened skeleton spinning in her office chair. “So it goes,” I said, but no one laughed. I guess they weren’t big readers.

And I go home. And I have had one hell of a good time.

We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Kirk Ferentz should have had his ass handed to him in a high hat when he responded to Chris Doyle hospitalizing 13 of his players by giving him an assistant of the year award

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

it's crazy living in a competitive district where GOP candidate ads are about working with dems that super pac ads constantly call terrorists while those same dems run ads that amount to "trump has some good ideas"

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

This is how I ended up with the Chirp back decompression table

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

What marvel character is he going to be playing?

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Dan Clyne @danclyne.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

If you no longer support Ed Sheeran but will miss his music, I’ve created the Ed Sheeran Experience app that will scratch that itch. Here’s a preview:

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

An extremely well funded PR company couldn't write that smile in the press conference but they sure could have written this

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

As a nation we can't afford to bar every ivy league fraternity member from joining the fbi

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Just saw the video Arch was laughing at and it's so much worse than I expected. A kid with that much media training thinking it's hilarious enough to bring it up unprompted in a press conference says a lot about the culture he was raised in

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

NOBODY holds against Ben Shelton 67 times in a row

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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

“why are all the ai ceos all of a sudden saying this weird thing?” burning man was last week and this may actually just be the explanation

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Alex Kirshner @alexkirshner.com · 12/09/2026

Eli Drinkwitz referred to Mizzou's Civil War history as a "complicated past" during his press conference tonight and said it was "bullcrap" of Kansas" to bring it up "on 9/11." There is no sport like college football

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I would love to see Foe win a slam but Shelton is a beast right now and beating Zverev is all that counts

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Got so mad about our totally unlabeled panel that I turned on everything I could find in the house and sent an 8 year old to every room with a walkie talkie to tell me what was off. He had a blast and I now shoot about 70%.

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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Spud the bulldog is crowned the fastest dog in Minnesota at Canterbury Park, crossed the line face down in a photo finish (via Canterbury Park)

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#1 Lifelong Houston Cougs Fan Brandi 😾 @itsthebrandi.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I can't believe the WNBA refs did this to Western Michigan.

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

That might be the most corrupt college officiating I've ever seen. Just stealing it in broad daylight

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Damn that was an impressive win from Townsend

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Billable hours starting off the season on a heater as they look poised to keep their lifetime undefeated streak alive

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

The reason that communities hate data centers is bad branding. They need a hot name to get onboard. Trump branded data centers would be a hit and save the GOP in the midterms.

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Anyone can say Kapler it's not illegal to remember some guys

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Eternal Hamnation @aggressivehams.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Wild that I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch 3 days ago but I can tell you exactly where I was sitting when I read most of these

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