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Brett Nicholson

@aggiebrett.bsky.social
3.7K followers 3K following 20K posts

Scribbler of rambunctious eloquence. Mostly comedy, but not always. Nicholl Finalist yet still bitter and sarcastic. Love movies, beer, music, tacos, and floating in a Texas river. ¡SARCASMISTA! SCRIPTS: www.networkisa.org/profile/aggiebre…

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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 59m
SCUMBAG
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Adam McKay @ghostpanther.bsky.social · 2h
It’s officially time to freak out.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 1h
One more damned day til a day where I can stare at the screen and try to remember what words are and how they work and why I ever thought I could put them together without self-injury and muscle pulls.
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 16h
RANKED. COMPETITIVE. POOPING.
Royal Highland Show sign that says “Toilets For Competition use only”
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 4h
Currently blasting: youtu.be/AywQegBaKho?...
youtu.be
Never Been To Spain (Single Version)
YouTube video by Three Dog Night - Topic
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 4h
Oh and BTW FWIW LMNOP it seems "#ScriptChat" is trending. So be careful what you say. Adults might be lurking. #ScriptChat #ScriptSky
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 5h
"Victories"? Yeah... right. GOOD ONE! The best screenwriting news I've had of late is I have yet to quit. Actually, I'm not sure if that qualifies as a victory or a defeat.... 🤣 #ScriptSky #ScriptChat
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 5h
October is Halloween month aka Scary Story Time, which always reminds me of the idiotic fact that my western spec PERDIDO actually started life as a chupacabra story. There remains not a single bit of that original stuff. 🤣 #Scriptsky
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 5h
Very solid snark. 👍
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 5h
If you're a screenwriter (ahem) "of a certain vintage," you need to participate. Or nominate some fellow decrepit fossil! (Hi, there! You look lovely tonight...) Brad does yeoman's work for us dinowriters. #scriptsky
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 5h
For #FirstPageFriday-- the opening to VAMPICONDA!, the only thing I've written that qualifies at all as "horror," but even then it's hyphenated as comedy-horror. This silly thing started as a joke in a social media thread yet remains my most requested script. There is no logic here. #scriptsky
VAMPICOINDA! p1
EXT. LOUISIANA SWAMP ROAD -- DAY
Slick black water hugs the bottoms of thick cypress trees. The air so heavy, you can almost hear the humidity. Ominous clouds hang heavy and pregnant as distant thunder rumbles.
...VAMPICONDA! poster
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Clayton Tucker @claytontuckertx.com · 8h
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: A federal judge just HALTED the destruction of Big Bend. This is a massive victory for the landowners, local communities, and everyday Texans who stood up to protect one of our state's greatest treasures. The fight isn't over, but today, the people won.
Graphic from the Center for Biological Diversity over a scenic view of Big Bend. Large text reads, “MASSIVE WIN FOR BIG BEND.” Below, it says a federal judge has frozen all destruction throughout the Big Bend region until the project’s legality can be determined in court. The graphic adds that the Center will continue fighting to save Big Bend and asks supporters to join them.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 8h
Due to working like a damned dog all week, we get to weeks I’m told to cut THREE hours to prevent OT. Well alrighty then.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 8h
SCUMBAG
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The Hollywood Reporter @thr.com · 10h
Mary Louise Weller, who portrayed Mandy Pepperidge, the Pi House sorority sister and object of future U.S. senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky’s affection in Animal House, has died. She was 79.
bit.ly
Mary Louise Weller, Actress in ‘Animal House,’ Dies at 79
Mary Louise Weller, who portrayed Mandy Pepperidge, the Pi House sorority sister and object of future U.S. senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky’s affection in Animal House, has died. She was 79.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
The agrees with me. ✊
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
#TALARICO FOR TEXAS!
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
I’m actually a very smart guy, but you’d never guess that to look at me or talk to me or know me for decades. #StealthGenius
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
The word “should” should be avoided in social media posts.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
I could probably have every bit as much writerly success if I stuck to nothing but stupid parody covers of Kenny Rogers’s songs. True story.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 10h
“Better late than never,” they say, but let’s be honest: “they” tend to be morons, where “we” tend to be the smart kids. The cool kids. Oooo, and good looking, too. I’m not sure what my point was going to be, but post something for #FirstPageFriday while I sort that out. 👍 #scriptsky
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Friday on deck. Luckily, the pain has rendered me numb so it shouldn't be much of a problem to zombie my way through the horseshit. Tally ho.
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Megan (she/her) @americanmegalo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I dunno who needs to hear this but the hero Katie Dippold just made every script for Widow's Bay s1 available to the WGF Library.
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ebisback.bsky.social @ebisback.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Exactly 😤😡
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
YES!!!!
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
And now I get to grit my teeth and endure for two more exasperating hours.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"What do you call the mouse shadow on the second moon?" “We call that one Biggis Dickus.” “Wait — what?”
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’m beginning to think I don’t have much more room for upward advancement. My willingness to silently embrace abject stupidity without comment or question seems seriously lacking.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Good. You’re not so far above us slobbering mortals that you are somehow exempt from disgust and ridicule. You shat the bed (repeatedly), so you get to enjoy the stench.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Utterly vile and disgusting. www.theguardian.com/film/2026/se...
theguardian.com
Reanimated AI Greta Garbo stars again … in a ball-bearing advert
Relatives of Hollywood legend say her doppelganger could now be used for more glamorous roles
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
HEAVEN OR LAS VEGAS! Starts as soon as I back out of the driveway. Today is 27% less awful already.
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Marty @martincrownover.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The perfect way to put it. They found a way to worm a subscription between you and your normal work.
A screenshot of a post on Threads by Joe Hill. The post reads: "Here’s a thought about the purveyors of AI. They aren’t selling assistance—they’re selling dependency. You give up on acquiring one skill after another, give up on the knotty, meaningful struggle to acquire those skills and AI takes over. It isn’t freeing up time so you can make more of yourself. It’s encouraging cognitive surrender so you can be less."
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Two degrees in be-bop, a PHD in swing He's the master of rhythm, he's a rock and roll king youtu.be/dxv1KnrR4_E?...
youtu.be
The Band of Heathens - Rock and Roll Doctor Featuring White Denim
YouTube video by The Band Of Heathens
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Scuse me for a moment whilst I retreat again to my Happy Place. youtu.be/FOAr-_vk4tM?...
youtu.be
Modern Major-General | The Pirates of Penzance | TUNE
YouTube video by TUNE - Musical Moments
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME....
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
“If lunch meat grew into a real boy”
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Pissedoffpundit @pissedoffpundant.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯🤔...
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’ll buy them another round. #morons
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I received multiple very kind compliments today.
FIZZIK saying he won’t let it go to his head
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Just me and (grown) daughter at home tonight so we decided to have a dinner at a place with cloth napkins and a real menu and no “theme.” Felt like a regular grown up. Had a bourbon cocktail. Had capers on my angel hair. Woooooo FAINCY!
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Marc Elias @marcelias.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
🚨BREAKING: Federal Court REJECTS lawsuit to compel Georgia to provide the DOJ with access to its complete statewide voter registration database. DOJ is now 0-26. Elias Law Group remains undefeated. www.democracydocket.com/cases/georgi...
democracydocket.com
🚨 United States of America v. Raffensperger
Learn more.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Is it a cliche to say “good god I am tired” after this workday? If so, too bad. Cuz good god I am tired.
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Attn @leahfromsd.bsky.social
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I got a GREAT price on a pre-owned Tacoma at autowarcom!
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Mike Nellis @mikenellis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Every clip I've caught of this Hegseth speech is batshit insane. What a delusional moron. Impeach his ass now, before he gets more Americans killed.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tell me you’ve been a rabid reader of Cliffs Notes without telling me you’ve been a rabid reader of Cliffs Notes.
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Sometimes I worry that I’m not snarly enough. And then I laaaaaaaugh laugh laugh.
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 30/09/2026
i do like how all the AI attempts to "disrupt" creative industries are failing because the people behind them have seemingly never been touched by a piece of art in their lives and therefore dont seem to really understand what appeals to people with souls
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Brett Nicholson @aggiebrett.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Colin Jost doesn’t need THIS much help for his cold open.
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