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Curtis Retherford

@actuallycurtis.bsky.social
311 followers 120 following 238 posts
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
title: "I Asked AI to Tie my Shoes for Me and Even Though I Keep Falling on My Face, I Continue to Ask AI—And So Should You" text: transcript of me trying to get an LLM to write about my experience, but instead I start believing I'm a god as I'm fed a mix of compliments and lorem ipsum
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
My phone has started showing me a picture of a trophy when I clear all notifications, like I need to be congratulated for swiping away email notifications, and I've never been more convinced that the people who make my phone think I'm a dumb baby
A screenshot from a phone of little trophy for a little baby that says "You're all caught up"
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john JASON saeteroy @johnjasonsaeteroy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
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Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 04/08/2026
Read it here if you haven't yet. Today is the very best day of all days to read it for the first time. short-stories.co/@raybradbury...
short-stories.co
There Will Come Soft Rains by Ray Bradbury
The voice-clock sang, breakfast was ejected, but no doors slammed. The garage chimed and lifted its door to reveal the waiting car. The house sat alone in a city of rubble and…
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Inviting my enemies over for a big dinner of unwashed raspberries and bagged salads topped with found cilantro
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
You know bluesky is alive and kicking because fake screenshots from twitter by Keaton Patti are still being passed around as if they're real (in this case it's actually a screenshot of a slop article that used a fake screenshot from Keaton as its only source without actually verifying anything)
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
Most vampires are obsessed with whatever civilization happened to be ascendant when they were teenagers
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Big news: toddler has been saying "duck" as "cuck" pretty consistently for the last month. Can't convince her otherwise. Maybe she knows something about these ducks that I don't
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
post-crypto and post-AI, the new thing is monkey typewriters. Venture capital pours money into companies that promise to type up all of Shakespeare. "There will be a market for monkey-Shakespeare," they promise. NYTimes values the industry at a gajillion dollars. The price of keyboards skyrockets
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
Television shows shouldn't have characters address important topics. That's unrealistic. My friends and I never talk about current events or politics. We only talk about our current emotional arcs, what happened a little bit ago, or give each other explanations of what is happening right now
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
If we convinced him that daylight savings time is somehow "woke," he'd cancel it within a week
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Adam Dorsey @adamdorsey.com · 11/02/2026
A.I. needs to watch its back, I'm coming for its job. Borrow tons of money with no chance of ever making it back? Kid shit. Lie that I'm good at stuff that I'll never be good at? Doing it now. Always be 5 years away from meeting my potential? Buddy, that's my life story.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Found the most cursed part of BlueSky
Cloud map of bluesky users with "AI Scientists" and "My Little Pony Fan Artists" close together, with "Jam Band Community" snuggled between them. A sandwich of "people you don't want to be at a party with"
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
Texted "stop" to opt-out of some marketing text and they texted back "STOP" to me. I guess we've opted out of each other. It was mutual
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 23/01/2026
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
If they gutted USAID and public broadcasting without a second thought, the least, the absolute least, we can do is abolish ICE.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
introducing a bill that requires that the ICE goons have to print low resolution pictures of their faces on their face masks
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Erika Hall @erikahall.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
me finishing a zoom meeting
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Charles Logan @charleswlogan.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
"Powered by OpenAI’s GPT-4o model by default...tests repeatedly showed that the AI toy dropped its guardrails the longer a conversation went on, until hitting rock bottom on incredibly disturbing topics."
futurism.com
AI-Powered Stuffed Animal Pulled From Market After Disturbing Interactions With Children
FoloToy says it's suspended sales of its AI-powered teddy bear after researchers found it gave wildly inappropriate and dangerous answers.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
This is so awkward I thought I was following Orpheus out of the underworld but it turns out it was just some other guy wearing similar pants
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
"No, you see, they killed James Bond. MY name is Bondjames Bond."
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
It's crazy that Cleopatra lived closer to the extinction of the dinosaurs than she did to the building of the pyramids.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
you: "sent from my iPhone" me:
hand coming out of pumpkin, typing an email response to whatever dumb email you sent me
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
It's kinda cool that Gary Larson is doing new cartoons because he picked up a digital tablet, taught himself how to use it, and it made him love drawing again. www.thefarside.com/new-stuff/
thefarside.com
New Work by Gary Larson | TheFarSide.com
Get an exclusive look at brand new cartoons and artwork from cartoonist Gary Larson, creator of the iconic comic strip The Far Side®.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Buying babyproofing products is a great experience because you constantly have to wonder "should I trust this company that doesn't bother to spellcheck their ad copy and badly photoshops the pictures of their products with the life of my child?" (the answer is always yes: I have no choice)
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Was reading a short story written in the 70s (printed in Harlan Ellison's posthumous "Last Dangerous Visions") and saw this fun little prediction
A sci-fi story containing the phrase "Let's Make America Strong Again"
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
the "you have to tell me if you're a cop" people made their own license plates
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Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
This gets progressively funnier with every use of the term "floppy".
One of Britain’s most senior police officers has launched an angry tirade against Extinction Rebellion protesters going “all floppy” when they get arrested.

Sir Stephen House, the deputy commissioner of the Metropolitan police, said the tactic of going limp was a “flipping nuisance” as it required extra officers to drag protesters away.

House told a London assembly police and crime committee hearing: “We have asked them to stop being floppy. And that might seem like a silly thing to say, but when we arrest them and pick them up, they go all floppy, which is why you see four or five officers carrying them away. It’s a complete waste of officers’ time, and a complete pain in the neck.”

Extinction Rebellion: how successful were the latest protests?
Read more
House also expressed annoyance at how the tactic made the police look heavy-handed. He said: “The problem with them going floppy and four offices carrying them away [is that it] looks to the general public like police are overreacting here. We’re not making them go floppy. They’re just sort of being a nuisance.”
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Pjörk 🐷 @nicoleconlan.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
The actual race against China is renewables and we are losing badly
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Brian Merchant @bcmerchant.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
LAPD choppers are a malignant nuisance. They're harbingers of surveillance, operated *continuously*—yet the city's own data show they raise stress, impair cognition and burn 100,000s of gallons of gas. The best part? there's no evidence they deter or reduce crime at all. It's time to ground them.
bloodinthemachine.com
Ground the choppers
The LAPD's helicopter mania is both a policy disaster and a symbol of our malignant, badly functioning surveillance state.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
Was recently paid several million dollars to tell Democrats that they can no longer use the following terms, because they may offend Republicans: winning elections, social security, representation, transgender, gender, homosexual, heterosexual, government, Constitution, Mamdani, Bernie, AOC
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
A class from the king of podcasts?!?! A chance to make your own Eurovangelist to Zyxx podcast! (or a different podcast, are there more than 2 podcasts?) Wow wow wow you gotta jump on this
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
Reminds me of this video either @therobstern.bsky.social or @khealywu.bsky.social showed me ages ago www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9CE...
youtube.com
Hall Of Inaccurate Presidents
YouTube video by Scott Gairdner
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
my 1-year-old daughter every time Paddington is on screen
Leonardo DiCaprio (in his role as "The Titanic") pointing at the screen when Paddington shows up. He is saying "bababababa"
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
this is Bam's chance to post "Damn Rock I wish you were still with us"
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Mike Pielocik @mikepie.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
1896: Oh no the train is coming right out of the screen! 2025: The train is capable of self-reflection and I do therapy with the train.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
One thing that's lost in all of this jumbotron CEO affair discourse is that apparently Coldplay has a specific jumbotron song, called "The Jumbotron Song," where Chris Martin sings about audience members, like an even lamer version of the old Leno "Jaywalking" bit. THIS is real crime, people. Focus
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Julia Carrie Wong @joolia.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
people seem really confused about racial categories maybe we should have some educational programs to teach how these historically constructed categories structure our entire society in insidious ways we could even do programming in workplaces to improve how people communicate with each other
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Adam Dorsey @adamdorsey.com · 16/06/2025
Got banned from the Fraiser reddit again
A reddit post on r/fraiser where I asked "That motherfucker ever figure out his salad and egg situation?"

It has a lot of downvotes.
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
"a new book by Jason about Nick Drake" is almost TOO well targeted towards me: clearly the CIA is trying to draw me out of hiding
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
I wrote this as part of my new job as SpaceX PR! My salary is paid in crypto and company scrip, and every day we have an enforced 5 minute period where we all must laugh at the numbers 69 and 420, but overall it's a great job!
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
About once a month I check in with facebook, linkedin, all of the social media sites I barely use, like a lone pioneer checking the perimeter, seeing if the fence still stands
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
Being the first car in the left turn lane is a sacred duty. Waiting for the green arrow should require a little speech to make sure you're up to the task, like people in exit rows get
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 11/05/2025
One big takeaway from the last season of Righteous Gemstones is that Seann William Scott is one of the few actors who hasn't had his teeth bleached into chiclet-sized portals of nonexistence
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
A reminder that even if you didn't make it to pope this time, if you've still put in the work on your indie pope teams you should be proud of yourself. I heard that the conclave saw a lot of great popery during auditions this weekend, but there's just one open spot and so many incredible cardinals
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Curtis Retherford @actuallycurtis.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
"great, now she thinks I'm a fucking moron" -me, after accidentally saying "good night" when putting my 10-month-old down for an afternoon nap
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David Ho @davidho.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
I think a lot about what Carl Sagan said in one of his final interviews.
"WE'VE ARRANGED A society based on science and technology, in which nobody understands anything about science technology. And this combustible mixture of ignorance and power, sooner or later, is going to blow up in our faces. Who is running the science and technology in a democracy if the people don't know anything about it?"
"Science is more than a body of knowledge, it's a way of thinking. A way of skeptically interrogating the universe with a fine understanding of human fallibility. If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true, to be skeptical of those in authority, then we're up for grabs for the next charlatan, political or religious, who comes ambling along."
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