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Abdullahi Mohamed

@abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social
345 followers 364 following 1.2K posts

A joke who makes jokes, a writer who writes things & a very tired cricket fan. There will be Brooklyn 99 memes. For enquiries, email abdullahimohamed2002@yahoo.com

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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 11h
Siri, find me Hollywood's version of Ed Sheeran
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Marie Le Conte @youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com · 07/10/2026
walks around with a big coat and no underwear
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Rachel Parris @rachelparris.bsky.social · 23h
Hey folks. In total honesty my tour is NOT selling well. I’ve sold 30 tickets in a 400 seater in Birmingham, and not much more elsewhere. If you like musical comedy, if you like standup, then please come see my show! And spread the word! The Rachel Parris Songbook tour starts in Nov! Link in bio! 🎶
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 07/10/2026
Black text on white background 
"This day is profoundly painful for so many New Yorkers. It marks three years since the horrific war crimes of October 7. On that day, Hamas killed more than 1,100 Israelis and abducted 251 others. We grieve alongside our many friends and neighbors who still carry that unthinkable loss.
 
The suffering did not begin nor end that day. It instead continued through the Israeli government’s devastating, ongoing genocide in Gaza, in which it has killed more than 74,000 Palestinians—including more than 21,000 children. Even since the so-called ceasefire, more than 1,400 Palestinians have been killed. That suffering has intensified with every Israeli bomb dropped on ambulances waiting outside hospitals, every drone strike targeting a residential building or journalist, and every shipment of food aid turned away at a border crossing. Many New Yorkers are reckoning with this unbearable grief, and we mourn alongside them – all while knowing that our tax dollars fund these war crimes.
 
Three years later, we must refuse to accept a world in which occupation and apartheid continue, where war crimes are met with impunity, and our federal government continues its complicity with every arms shipment.
 
To honor the dead, we must fight for a world in which every person can live with freedom, safety, and dignity."
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Adam Bienkov @adambienkov.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
From the new Private Eye
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I know its the second week in a row, but it's a choice to pit two separate football matches with England & Scotland against the Great British Bake Off. Do they even have football-themed cake at the end of each match or nah? #NationsLeague #GBBO
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
By the people, for the people? (Psa, we will be watching)
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Sande @sande0724.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Fact.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If Bimini & Suella Braverman are seen in the same place, there'll be problems i can guarantee you.
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Ash @queerash.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
adding '5 British doggers' to the list of surprising defeats for the US military, alongside the IRGC, Viet Cong, and geography
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
All of the Green party is united in condemning Israel's genocide in Gaza. So why is it that all of a sudden they're divided over a motion saying Zionism is a form of racism?
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The Guardian @theguardian.com · 04/10/2026
Green party votes to adopt policy that equates Zionism with racism
theguardian.com
Green party votes to adopt policy that equates Zionism with racism
Motion that has alarmed some Jewish members is passed by 1,022 votes to 813 at party’s annual conference in Brighton * UK politics live – latest updates The Greens have formally adopted a policy which equates Zionism with racism, a move that will dismay the bulk of the party’s MPs and that has alarmed some Jewish members. A vote at the party’s annual conference on Brighton about whether to back a motion which calls for Zionism, the movement for a Jewish state, to be “treated as any other form of racism”, saw it passed by 1,022 votes to 813. Continue reading...
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Rachel Cunliffe @rmcunliffe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This is what happens when you start excusing things under the banner of “legitimate concerns”
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
One of us is on the Celebrity Traitors tonight (hint; it's not me)
James Acaster & moi (from March 2026)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
#justice4grenfell is coming, even nearly 10 years later. The companies involved should be forced to pay significant prices for allowing 72 innocent people to burn to death for their indescribable levels of greed & negligence www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...
theguardian.com
Grenfell fire police investigators hand files on 20 firms and 54 people to CPS
Met calls move ‘milestone’ moment that paves way for ‘very best possible evidence for charging decisions’
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/09/2026
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future theonion.com/cornell-vows...
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i feel like i'm watching more ad breaks than bakes. can't believe they ain't advertised greggs lol #GBBO
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
From my instagram story:
"Manchesterism in Liverpool", referring to prime minister Andy Burnham giving a keynote speech at the Labour party conference in Liverpool
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is a *very* important point.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Andy Burnham is doing his first Labour conference speech later. What is the likelihood that he'll be interrupted by protesters like the last few conferences? Can't wait to find out (:)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
fork found in kitchen, toilet found in bathroom, tv found in living room etc etc
The Telegraph: "Restore [Britain] is being hijacked by racists, says former candidate. Ex-Royal Marine [Jez Hermer] accuses party leaders of failing to stop a 'rapid charge to the [far-right]'"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"Netanyahu, seen explaining how many genocides he's involved in", Paddy Young NEVER misses. 🎯🍉 #SNLUK
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Gavin Bazunu has my ultimate respect. The idea of Ireland playing Israel, which is committing genocide in Gaza, should've been unthinkable from the start. Facing sanctions for boycotting this game would hurt significantly less than what Palestinians are suffering from. 🇮🇪🇵🇸 www.rte.ie/sport/soccer...
rte.ie
Bazunu: 'I feel it would be wrong to participate'
Republic of Ireland goalkeeper Gavin Bazunu has released a statement on his withdrawal from the squad, saying he felt "it would be wrong to participate" in the Israel fixture in light of the atrocitie...
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Kneecap @kneecapceol.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Gavin Bazunu 💚⚪️🧡🇵🇸👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 The time has come for the rest of the players to stand alongside him and refuse to face Israel.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A very good day to not be a Manchester City fan. #AFC #CPFC
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Guess which party - recently given £72 million by crypto billionaires - runs this council www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
South Tyneside Council nursery closures decision 'devastating'
Councillors confirm that all 10 Stanley's nurseries in South Tyneside will close by July 2027.
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Cat Neilan @catneilan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Chris Philp's new job title just dropped
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"To my mind there is only one way to describe those marches: they are hate marches.” Suella Braverman on the Palestine protests, 30 October 2023.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Get this evil detty war criminal off our screens. @un.org
A blurred version of Israeli prime minister & war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu speaking at the United Nations (as covered by BBC News)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
So that makes it two men born Daniel Thomas who've been arrested in the past week or so ey. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...
theguardian.com
Police arrest far-right activist Daniel Thomas after dinghy slashed in Channel
Thirty-seven-year-old in custody on suspicion of crimes including criminal damage with intent to endanger life
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
NEW YORK (AP) — Harvey Weinstein has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for a 2006 sex crime in New York.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
So that makes Friday 'encore day' then
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
NEW | I’m not surprised, but I am livid. BBC NEWS, ‘DANNY TOMMO’ AND THE DINGHY ATTACK THAT DISAPPEARED While the rest of the media – even the very worst parts – report on Daniel Thomas’ actions, BBC News fails to give its audience the facts. brokenbottleboy.substack.com/p/bbc-news-d...
brokenbottleboy.substack.com
BBC News, ‘Danny Tommo’ and the dinghy attack that disappeared
While the rest of the media – even the very worst parts – report on Daniel Thomas’ actions, BBC News fails to give its audience the facts.
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The Empty City @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just as well those committing wrongs against the RNLI are not holding placards supporting a proscribed organisation, else they would really be in trouble.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
If this fucker gets the same treatment that the Palestine action/Just stop oil people have done, i'll be surprised.. clown world🤡
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
If you're interested to know how my day was going, I went from Channel 4 News to brand new Bake Off with added @nigella.bsky.social. Baking news etc. 📰🍰 #GBBO
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Now, imagine the response to a column asking why a Premier League team has a Jewish supporters group.
Michael Deacon
Why do Man Utd have a Muslim supporters’ group?
Sir Jim Ratcliffe must go, declares an organisation for the team’s Islamic fans. There’s just one thing puzzling
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Tonight is the 21st night of September. Don't believe me, believe Earth, Wind & Fire.
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Lady Emily ☄️ @ladyemily.nebula.tv · 20/09/2026
Damon Albarn beginning the Gorillaz US tour by holding up the Palestinian flag and talking about how you should never be neutral is really nice to see but also really funny that he did this with a giant muppet right behind him
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Farrukh @implausibleblog.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Left: Ed Sheeran at Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field, "I've tried in my career not to be a political commentator at any time" Right: Except that time Ed Sheeran shot a music video in Kyiv, did a concert for Ukraine, because, "I just wanted to so something, rather than not do anything"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I imagine it's got more headlines than for example the latest killing of Palestinian civilians in the past week.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
In June, i went to a recording of an episode of Antiques Roadshow at Valentines Mansion in Ilford. The episode has just aired on BBC One & if you watch back on iPlayer, you may see a lil background cameo of moi... #antiquesroadshow
A photo of me standing beside the show's logoThe red deckchairs of AR are well comfy it seems Here is Antiques Roadshow's mmain presenter Fiona Bruce That cameo of me on the show, which aired on BBC1 (taken through iplayer cos i forgot to take a photo of it on tv)
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
It’s so crazy that Ed Sheeran read that fuckass statement from a teleprompter SO OBVIOUSLY. Bro is complicitmaxxing at every possible juncture
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The writers & performers on tonight's #SNLUK cold open are geniuses #sittingonthefence
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It's very wonderful (& also very sad) to hear @huwstephensdj.bsky.social on 6 Music honour the legacy & artistry of Sway. 💛
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This is the song in question youtu.be/TLHGNeJaTE0?...
youtu.be
Sway feat. Lemar - Saturday Night Hustle
YouTube video by DcyphaTV
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I'm very sad to hear that Sway Dasafo has died. He proved an integral part of UK hip hop history with his shock win for hip-hop act at the 2005 Mobos. His song Saturday Night Hustle has been my constant favourite for a couple of years. May he rest in peace. 🌹 www.theguardian.com/music/2026/s...
theguardian.com
Sway, Mobo-winning British rapper, dies aged 44
Rapper won prestigious award as an unsigned artist before breaking UK Top 10 and nurturing artists including KSI
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Hope you & your army of balaclava-wearing shitty men are happy now, "Danny Tommo" www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home...
independent.co.uk
RNLI closes Portsmouth lifeboat station after huge anti-migrant protests
RNLI volunteers were branded ‘traitors’ after bringing migrants ashore
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Mr too tired for a halloween name @laotianrockrat.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Ed Sheeran's agent: Ok fuck me that was a wild few days. Still we should be over the worst of it now...
Twitter post by that cunt Stephen Yaxley-Lennon expressing solidarity with Ed Sheeran (not reposting the exact text because fuck whatever he has to say)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
RIEP to Bonnie Greer. One of the greats of our modern era. 🌹
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