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Abdullahi Mohamed

@abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social
348 followers 365 following 1.2K posts

A joke who makes jokes, a writer who writes things & a very tired cricket fan. There will be Brooklyn 99 memes. For enquiries, email abdullahimohamed2002@yahoo.com

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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
"Grab em by the p*ssy, you can do anything" - Donald Trump in a secret recording, 16 September 2005 "I haven't been to the gym for so long, I didn't realise that women just dressed like wh*res now" - Shane Gillis on Saturday Night Live, 10 October 2026
Shane Gillis and Donald Trump at a UFC match (from Gillis' instagram account)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
One of us is on the Celebrity Traitors tonight (hint; it's not me)
James Acaster & moi (from March 2026)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
From my instagram story:
"Manchesterism in Liverpool", referring to prime minister Andy Burnham giving a keynote speech at the Labour party conference in Liverpool
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
fork found in kitchen, toilet found in bathroom, tv found in living room etc etc
The Telegraph: "Restore [Britain] is being hijacked by racists, says former candidate. Ex-Royal Marine [Jez Hermer] accuses party leaders of failing to stop a 'rapid charge to the [far-right]'"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Get this evil detty war criminal off our screens. @un.org
A blurred version of Israeli prime minister & war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu speaking at the United Nations (as covered by BBC News)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
In June, i went to a recording of an episode of Antiques Roadshow at Valentines Mansion in Ilford. The episode has just aired on BBC One & if you watch back on iPlayer, you may see a lil background cameo of moi... #antiquesroadshow
A photo of me standing beside the show's logoThe red deckchairs of AR are well comfy it seems Here is Antiques Roadshow's mmain presenter Fiona Bruce That cameo of me on the show, which aired on BBC1 (taken through iplayer cos i forgot to take a photo of it on tv)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I made my debut UK TV appearance as an audience member of Live from the Lycett Arms (with Joe Lycett, who else) on Channel 4 last night. To watch it again this morning is an absolute blessing. 🙂‍↔️📺
Me on the right of my laptop appearing as an audience member of 'Live from the Lycett Arms' on Channel 4
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
A reminder that over 77 million people in America voted for this man to be their president. Why wouldn't he use a most sombre moment to say any shit he wants?
The Guardian headline: 'Trump uses 9/11 memorial speech to justify Iran war as families commemorate victims of attack', featuring a photo of him & his wife Melania at the Pentagon memorial service
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Absolutely insane this needed to be said because of them mad (& dangerous) racist nutters. RNLI exists to save lives at sea in anyway possible. You'd have to be heartless to oppose such a mission.
From @rnli Instagram: "The RNLI is a charity that exists to save lives at sea. But recent events have generated deliberate misinformation and a misunderstanding about our purpose and our lifesaving work in the Channel.

As a result, some of our volunteers and staff have been the subject of online and, in some cases, physical abuse. This is unacceptable.

The RNLI's people represent the very best of society. For over two hundred years they have dedicated themselves to rescuing people they've never met before, without judgment, fear or favour.

We are tasked by HM Coastguard to help those in distress, and we'll do so whenever, wherever and whoever they are.

We launched 9,058 times in 2025. Only 109 of those launches were to those in distress in the Channel - 1.2% of our total rescue work. Anyone rescued from a small boat by the RNLI is then taken into the care of the relevant UK authorities.

To those who stand with the RNLI, thank you. For more than two hundred years, we've saved lives at sea around the UK and Ireland, and that commitment remains unchanged." less

21 hours ago
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Could it be because they don't belong to Just Stop Oil, Palestine Action, Extinction Rebellion or any other leftwing protest group known for their often "inconvenient" actions?
Bbc news live page: No arrests made during Dover protest, Kent police says.

Kent police has issued a statement following the disruption in Dover earlier today.
It says officers "responded to a spontaneous pprotest" during Saturday morning, adding "no arrests were made".
"Traffic is flowing normally, and all involved had dispersed by midday," it adds
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Dolly Parton forever. We will always love you. RIP. 🌹💛
Dolly Parton (1946-2026)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Arsonist complains about fire. You make me sick @telegraph.co.uk. 🤮
The Telegraph report: "Cambridge college head: investigate media onslaught against Jason Arday. Lord Woolley says academic felt 'hounded to death' by coverage"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Even in death, media outlets like these continue to blatantly disrespect Jason Arday. These outlets need to be held severely accountable for the atmosphere that made it entirely possible.
The Times front page headline circled in brown: "Row professor found dead. Academic at centre of plagiarism dispute discovered 'unresponsive' at a London address"Daily Express story circled in brown: "Plagiarism row professor found dead"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Bruva, what did i just bleeding see??
"Severe alert

Issued by the UK Government

There is a very high risk of wildfires nationally. Residents, landowners and visitors should not undertake any activity that could start a fire, including disposable barbecues, firepits, garden incinerators or fireworks. Even al small flame can rapidly develop into a major wildfire placing lives, homes, businesses and emergency responders

Follow official updates and report signs of fire immediately by calling 999. Search gov.uk/alerts for more information."
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Very lucky to be in the audience for a special episode of Add to Playlist, recorded in late June at V&A East museum, home of the Music is Black exhibition (which is also the truth). The music featured on the show make for very important listening. Tonight 7:15 on Radio 4 or later on BBC Sounds. 💿
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Tfw your favourite team lost
Two of the most scumest men on planet earth, Gianni Infantino & Donald Jackass Trump at the Fifa World Cup final
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Which "Fergie" is it? Is it the one from the Black Eyed Peas? Or is it the nickname of Sarah Ferguson? Please end my confusion @theipaper.com
The i paper: Epstein files: Fergie met Epstein twice while he was serving prison sentence for child sex offence
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
It's 9 years today since 72 people died needlessly in the Grenfell tower fire. And yet, the entire community is still waiting for justice for what was done to them. Despite numerous inquiries, we're yet to see any accountability. Be surprising if there was by next year. #justice4grenfell 💚
My sign saying
'9 years. Still no justice for Grenfell. Never forget 
14 June 2017 💚 14 June 2026'
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Wrote this out of anger. Also to the media outlets broadcasting incitement to violence, look at Belfast & wonder whether you're *really* doing this for "balanced journalism"
To every single person, politican, technocratic billionaire, commentator, "activist" etc who whipped up violent race riots & pogroms in Belfast, congratulations. You all helped bring about fear & terror onto communities. Families can't go outside without being ensured that they're gonna be safe, people of colour are being attacked *in their own homes* despite having no connection to the attack, and several homes & vehicles are being set alight. Nothing about this will get better. And it's all because of you. I hope you're happy. I hope you don't have to go through what you made them go through. But most importantly, I hope you go fuck yourself.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Kanya King & Anthony Head both dying in the same week. So sad, yet so soon. Generational icons through & throughs. May they both rest in peace.🌹💛
Kanya King holding a Mobo awardAnthony Head at an event
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
They have a warm-up show? And the Killers are performing? Okay... #UCLFinal
Brandon Flowers from the Killers performing at Budapest stadium, where the Champions League final is happening
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Came across this in Brighton the other day, thought I'd share it x
A sign over a bin saying "no glass or plastic bags", including cans, cardboard, plastic bottles and newspapers & magazines, featuring a logo of Reform UK covered by a no sign calling them "Kremlin's useful idiots"
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Zara Larsson last night & Olivia Dean tonight just instantly slaying it whilst headlining Radio 1's Big Weekend in Sunderland. Here's when I was very lucky to meet the both of them. 👑 #BigWeekend #R1BW
A photo with Zara Larsson at her album signing for Venus, 2024.A photo with Olivia Dean at her album signing for Messy, 2023.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Is it the first minister of Wales? First minister of Scotland? First minister of Northern Ireland? Which first minister is it?
LBC website:
LIVE: First minister quits as more than 70 Labour MPs sign letter telling Starmer to resign as PM.
Labour lost more than 1,400 seats, more than half of those it was defending in the local elections.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Here is that said moment #baftas
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
This is your annual "hippos at polling stations" reminder that polls are open till 10 tonight for another important election. Swipe to see who you should vote against. 🦛🗳 #elections2026 #democracy #hopenothate #votegreen #hipposatpollingstations
My toy hippo sat outside a polling station. Nigel Farage & his good old friend Donald Trump have a photo together, presumably laughing in our faces. Vote Reform, you deserve this.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
My thoughts on the CNN report about *that website* & our responsibility as men to speak out about misogyny, male violence & patriarchy.
62 million views in February. 81 million views in March. That's how many times the "rape academy" website has been clicked.
My fellow men, what the fuck are we doing?
Are we literally seeing a fucking site aimed at raping, penetrating, dehumanising women? In this. 2026?
Just like the holocaust, what starts with words & "banter" ends up becoming something much more darker. 
We can't simply say "not all men" & fucking do nothing. We have to stand against this shit & demand better. Otherwise we might as well continue being the reason why women choose the bear.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
I made another pair of skittles celebrating thee Greg James to mark his latest challenge for Comic Relief. He's been cycling on a tandem bike, 1000km, from Weymouth to Edinburgh (greatest city in the world) & that's what i call committment. A great cause by a great man. bbc.co.uk/greg to donate 🚴‍♀️💪🏾
A pair of skittles saying "GREG JAMES"A selfie with Greg James & his book "All the best for the future "
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
Here's how to know that America & Israel's war on Iran is illegal: Tony Blair supports it.
The Mail on Sunday: Now Blair delivers a stinging blow to PM over war. Ex Premier's rebuke to flailing Starmer: You should have backed  US from day one
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
One opposes the two child benefit cap. The other supports it. One supports nationalisation of public services. The other opposes it. One supports human rights worldwide. The other opposes it. One opposes war crimes & fascism. The other supports it. And so on. But yeah, they have "more in common"
BBC News:
[Zack] Polanski and [Nigel] Farage don't agree. But they have more in common than you might think. Despite huge political differences, the Green and Reform leaders have much in common, writes Laura Kuenssberg.
BBC InDepth
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Didn't know that the green party were cannibals, cheers @news.sky.com
Sky News:
'Cannibalised by the Greens': Watch Sam Coates explain why the Gorton and Denton by-election result is so bad for Labour
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Paddington is hosting a Bafta film nomination? Please tell me that's Ben Whishaw in the costume x
Paddington bear handing out a Bafta film nomination
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
"Do prison cells come with a pizza express? Or are they just in Woking or summat?"
Former prince Andrew Mountbatten Windsor seen in a taxi for the first time since being arrested today
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
Maryam Moshiri reporting from Buckingham Palace on former prince Andrew's arrest, whilst a group of women dance in the background
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
Wowee
The Guardian:
Andrew Mountbatten Windsor arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
"If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds." The reverend Jesse Jackson Rest in power to a monumental great 🙏🏾
A picture of Jesse Jackson
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Went to the screening of 'the voice of hind rajab' last night & was so moved. It's a film about the 5-year-old palestinian girl shot dead in 2024 by the israeli army throughout its genocide in gaza. Kaouther ben hania, who made the film, was doing q&a afterwards. This is art.🇵🇸✊🏾 #thevoiceofhindrajab
The Voice of Hind Rajab 
A film by Academy Award nominated writer director Kaouther Ben Hania
Made in collaboration with the Palestine Red Crescent Society 
Visit palestinercs.org/en to make a donation
In cinemas January 16
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
Let's take a look at the news and... OOOOHHHH. 🫠
Two Guardian sport breaking news alerts: 
(10:07am) Thomas Frank sacked by Tottenham after eight months as head coach
(10:02am) Revealed: Tottenham paid £6.7m to bring Thomas Frank and his team from Brentford
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Shot ➡️ chaser (headlines via @theguardian.com)
The Guardian from 4 February 2026:
'It's an absolute bloodbath': Washington Post lays off hundreds of workers. Former Post executive editor blasts owner Jeff Bezos' 'sickening efforts to curry favor' with TrumpThe Guardian from 7 February 2026:
Washington Post publisher Will Lewis abruptly resigns amid criticism of staff cuts. Departure comes days after newspaper laid off nearly one-third of staff, including more than 300 journalists
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
This is real . Really Real. SO FUCKING REAL 🫠
From the Times magazine on 7 February 2026:
"I've had a lot of bad luck, no doubt some of it my own making": Peter Mandelson, from ambassador's residence to Wiltshire domesticity. Written by Katy Balls
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
The other night, i turned my sandwich into a burger . I must be good at something , 🍔 #burgers #sandwiches #magic
A sandwich......which i successfully made into a burger
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
BBC News is suggesting that Donald Jackass Trump hasn't been accused of *any crimes* by any of Jeffrey Epstein's victims. It's as if the bath is based in the kitchen nowadays
Exercpt from BBC News online:
Trump has consistently denied any wrongdoing in relation to Epstein and has not been accused of any crimes by Epstein's victims.
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
There's plenty much to be said about thee one, thee only Catherine O'Hara. If it wasn't for her excellent performance in Schitt's Creek, would that show be the institution it is today? Unbearable news about her today. May she rest peacefully. 🌹🧡
Catherine O'Hara as Moira Rose in Schitt's Creek
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Another reminder that ICE isn't just an American problem. Here in Britain, politicians like Nigel Farage wanna prop up the forces EXACTLY like ICE. Very important to know who he is & who Reform are. Headline by @scotnational.bsky.social #AbolishICE
The National headline: EXCLUSIVE - Alarm over Nigel Farage's ICE inspiration after Minneapolis shooting 
From 8th January
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Throwing it back to June 2023, where I met Olivia Dean at a signing for her debut album Messy. Since then, she's had 4 (FOUR) UK top 10 singles & today has been nominated for 5 Brit Awards, including album of the year for The Art of Loving. Don't we all LOVE her!! 🏘💛
Me & thee Olivia Dean having a photo at her Messy album signing in Rough trade east
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Ironically today marks a year since Donald Jackass Trump returned to the White House to fuck basically everything up, but also it's 5 years since Bernie Sanders unintentionally delivered this iconic moment at Joe Biden's inauguration
Bernie Sanders sits with his arms folded, wears a pair of mittens & his mask (covid era)
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
at the end of the day, they're all spider man 🕷
a meme showing three spider men pointing at each other, only each of them are labour,  reform & tories
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 12/01/2026
I hope that Wanda Sykes has a VERY good morning. 🔥👏🏾
Wanda Sykes at the Golden Globes: 
"Bill Maher, you give us so much, but I would love a little less."
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
Me reacting "WOAH" to the full time score in a FA Cup 3rd round where Macclesfield beat Crystal Palace 2-1
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Abdullahi Mohamed @abdulmohamedwrites.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
Here we fucking go #Thetraitors
The title card of the Traitors, with the background being Ardross castle
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