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Zack

@zackr.bsky.social
91 followers 267 following 1 posts

He/they, Okie, trying to understand what's going on all the time

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Reposted by Zack
The Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026
“Upon reviewing the disciplinary action we took toward the seven Chi Phi brothers who allegedly gang-raped a student for over seven hours, we have concluded that the mandated two-page minimum on essays was woefully inadequate.” — Michael Kotlikoff, Cornell president
theonion.com
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future
ITHACA, NY—Acknowledging serious missteps in their handling of a 2024 campus sexual assault case, administrators at Cornell University vowed Tuesday that, going forward, rapists would be forced to wri...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
“He definitely isn’t fluent, and I doubt he’ll ever get there, but he’s truly come a long way from being unable to pronounce a single word intelligibly.” — Xi Jinping
theonion.com
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
WASHINGTON—Marveling at how his American counterpart’s grasp of the difficult language had progressed, Chinese leader Xi Jinping told reporters Thursday that he was deeply impressed with how much Pres...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/07/2026
Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise Face Off Alone On ‘Celebrity Family Feud’
Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise Face Off Alone On ‘Celebrity Family Feud’
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Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 12/07/2026
having spent the weekend at my parents house, i think it's boomers who are addicted to short form video.
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Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
MrBeast competition to see who can make it through the Strait of Hormuz
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onion person @junlper.beer · 31/01/2026
we absolutely need to know who he sent this to. how is this something the public is being kept in the dark on???
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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
7. Troublemaker, by El Lissitzky, 1913
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/01/2026
RFK Jr. Coughs Up Pair Of Jeans
RFK Jr. Coughs Up Pair Of Jeans
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⧉ @smilingnodding.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
virgin walkvirgin walk
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okpoke.bsky.social @okpoke.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
And grew…
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okpoke.bsky.social @okpoke.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
Oklahoma State Sec 231 started as one dude with his shirt off and grew..
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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
La reproduction interdite, by René Magritte, 1937, 📸 via @BleacherReport
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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/07/2025
Peter Thiel Shows Trump How To Sort Spreadsheet Of Americans By Ethnicity theonion.com/peter-t...
Peter Thiel Shows Trump How To Sort Spreadsheet Of Americans By Ethnicity
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Zack @zackr.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
I love it when a little bonus content shows up in my podcast feed. 🙃
Screenshot of a Spotify podcast feed. Text reads "Today
Bonus Episode: US Strikes Iran
Up First from NPR
president Trump ordered the U.S. military to bomb three Iranian sites he said were crucial to that nation's nuclear a...
Today 15 min"
I think it's funny because it says "Bonus Episode" as if it something to be happy about.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/05/2025
Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless
theonion.com
Gavin Newsom Sits Down For Podcast With Serial Killer Who Targets Homeless
SACRAMENTO, CA—Promising his podcast listeners an engaging and enlightening conversation, California Gov. Gavin Newsom reportedly sat down Tuesday with a serial killer who targets the homeless populat...
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Sam Reich @samreich.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
hey we noticed you from across arkham asylum and really dig your vibe
A selfie of Zac Oyama, Ally Beardsley, and Lisa Gilroy in Joker makeup and costumes
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The Onion @theonion.com · 15/04/2025
It Only Tuesday
theonion.com
It Only Tuesday
WASHINGTON, DC—After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were dishearte...
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
Dead serious: it’s because it’s huge on a Mercator projection
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 16/03/2025
"dei medal" you might as well just put "n*gger medal" because that's what they mean to say
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Chuck Schumer is going out to meet swing voters where they live: in the upscale book stores of America's wealthy suburbs.
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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Drake rn:
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onion person @junlper.beer · 10/02/2025
pedophile has problem with anti-pedophile song
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/02/2025
Trump Regales Jackson Mahomes With Tales Of His Old Groping Days theonion.com/trump-r...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/02/2025
Fox Bleeps Out Entire Kendrick Lamar Performance theonion.com/fox-ble...
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Grumpy dad energy @fdsignifier.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Cooper DeJean making white history during black history month...
media.tenor.com
a man with a beard is sitting in front of a computer screen that says " real comments and reactions " on it
ALT: a man with a beard is sitting in front of a computer screen that says " real comments and reactions " on it
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Jake @brehlol.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
The Eagles winning because of DEI (a white cornerback)
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/02/2025
ICE Responds To Public Outcry By Pledging All Detainees Will Receive Lobotomy To Erase Trauma
ICE Responds To Public Outcry By Pledging All Detainees Will Receive Lobotomy To Erase Trauma
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
New — The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) was told this week by DOJ that they'd lose their funding if the org didn't remove any mentions of LGBTQIA+ issues from their public materials, I've learned. Staff were told they need to deadname trans kids in their reports to comply.
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Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Let’s be really clear, THIS IS NOT ABOUT SPORTS. This is about *violence* against Trans women. This is about enforcing hate as public policy. This is pure evil.

How many transgender athletes are there in the U.S.?
Out of 510,000 athletes competing at the collegiate level, there are fewer than 10 who publicly identify as transgender, Charlie Baker, the N.C.A.A. president, said in January.
source: New York Times
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/02/2025
Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test | Onion News Network While Supreme Pastor Joel Osteen has fired ballistic missiles off the Gulf Coast before, today marks the first time Lakewood Church has tested nuclear weapons.
youtube.com
Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test | Onion News Network
YouTube video by The Onion
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/02/2025
Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal theonion.com/think-t...
Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal
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Amanda Katz @katzish.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
It seems like an unelected, non-Senate-confirmed billionaire who recently gave a Nazi salute onstage is directing private citizens in a takeover of U.S. federal workers' personal information? Is this okay with everyone? What am I missing
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Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
State Department now ordering diplomats to remove pronouns from email signature blocks, per memo leaked to me
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
He was Texas Tech’s coach for this
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onion person @junlper.beer · 29/01/2025
they’re bringing back guantanamo bay and going to turn it into a concentration camp
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The New York Times @nytimes.com · 28/01/2025
Oklahoma education leaders approved a plan on Tuesday to request proof of citizenship or immigration status from families when they enroll their children in public schools. The rule would supply the Trump administration with information to aid immigration enforcement.
nytimes.com
Oklahoma Moves to Require Schools to Ask Students’ Immigration Status
The rule would not block undocumented students from enrolling, but it would supply the Trump administration with information to aid immigration enforcement.
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Skattebo's Sports Bar and Grill in Tempe is gonna print money
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kenny gesserit 🦝 @kennygesserit.bsky.social · 11/11/2024
Listen up newskies. We call them flarts here. Retweets are called flippin a jimbo. DM are BMs (blue messages not the other thing). When you reply you say you sucked them off 👍
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