Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 24/08/2025"How was your day, hon?" Flops dramatically on the couch — "Ugh. The agent was posing as a barista. They were like, 'Enjoy your coffee!' and I was like, ‘You too!' I’m MORTIFIED. I can't face that agent and give them self-destructing packages ever again now!" 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 24/08/2025Imagine being the person who walks into an unassuming café, whispers, "I may complain again when the grainy plains of Spain gain rain, Wayne," gets some nonsense reply, hands off a secret package, etc.. And that's literally their entire job. 110
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 24/08/2025Personal Log, Stardate 4823: Interrupted a "Battle Brows" game between Spock and Bones - Highest Arch contests, etc.. Asked why they don't abandon all pretense and just kiss already. Now it's been 2 days since I last saw them, and dammit, we've got frontiers to be bold about... or whatever.😡🫠 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 21/08/2025Ever try for 40+ years and just seemingly for no reason? 000
Reposted by Zack CrassInternet Dad @whatahellofawaytodad.com · 15/08/2025If you come across my house in the bombed out wastes of New St Louis, I've got a good loot drop in the basement 9955
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025I guess I am unable to edit to add ALTs to my photos on Bluesky posts. I'll follow through going forward. Thanks again! 110
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025I had to look up ALTs. Through context clues, I am understanding that I should describe pictures that I post. Thank you for the tip! I appreciate you telling me about it rather than shaming me for my ignorance. Surak would be proud. 120
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025Hello, fellow Star Trek Pez Dispenser pack owner! What number is yours? 110
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025I clearly do not have real friends. All those poseurs will be seeing this post. 110
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025Pretending I only know celebrities from their more obscure roles. "Oh wow, Mayim Bialik? The actress from Pumpkinhead?" "Of course I know Wayne Knight! He handed the shit out of a file to Kevin Costner in JFK!" "Yeah, Margaret Cho, that FBI agent in Face/Off. Thought we'd have seen more of her." 000
Reposted by Zack CrassRobert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 01/08/2025despite everything, i still believe in the potential of humankind to create utopia. but it will require hard work, courage, and above all else extremely deep v-necks that go almost down to the dick 332102041785
Reposted by Zack CrassDr. Allison Wiltz @allyfromnola.bsky.social · 30/07/2025There is so much going on in this society. Carve out time for yourself 2687
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 29/07/2025The look on this cat's face tells me all I need to know. "Oh. You hate your cat." 010
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 25/07/2025When life starts spiraling, don't be afraid to rock the emo bangs, fire off some finger guns, wear all black, and dance menacingly in a shitty jazz club. 010
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Just found out the "E.T." in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial actually stands for Emotional Terrorist. He will expose your soggiest self to your kids while giving you the glowing finger. Ouch indeed. 000
Reposted by Zack CrassJerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 18/07/2025TIMELINE: ok i hear what you're saying. but what if things got dumber 743378434
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 17/07/2025Actual review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Met Bryce on day 3 of my thru-hike. He found a tick I didn't even know I wanted found! 🥰💖😍" 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 17/07/2025An app for lonely campers and hikers who need someone to groom their musky bits for ticks after a long, sweaty day in the woods... and maybe more. Allogroom & Chill™️ "Because why not take this from the shower to the bedroom?" -or- "The Itchier Tinder." 100
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Meatloaf: I would do anything for love... Daryl Hall & John Oates: I can't go for that. Meatloaf: ❤️ From the critically misunderstood Consent Power Ballad collalbum: Boundaries Are Sexy 000
Reposted by Zack CrassKevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 14/07/2025In 1996 Al Gore caught hell for making fund raising calls from a White House phone! 10064841260
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Me: sleeps for 18 hours Also me: anxiety spiral for the other 6 New reality TV idea: ALONE, but for people like me. Who will outlast their panic before their next hypohibernation... ...and who will tap out? Coming soon: ALONE: With My Thoughts 010
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 12/07/2025Meatloaf Attempt #1. Ugly. Structurally sound. Shockingly tasty. Then... Do I live in a dumpster with a graceless raccoon? No. I live with a sociopath. My stomach hurts. This experience has changed me. I trust no one. #MeatloafGate #NeverAgain #WhoDoesThat #IPukedInMyMouth #AreHashtagsStillCool 010
Reposted by Zack CrassDan Whitehead @danwhitehead.net · 11/07/2025I know everyone is bored of posts like this, but I just got a packet of crisps out of the cupboard and they were hot like they'd been in the oven and I think that's probably bad. 3292
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 11/07/2025Excerpt from my screenplay TOM WICK Scene 1: Phone rings. Tom pauses feeding his cat. It's his manager at the temp agency. MANAGER: "Don't bother coming back. You're literally the worst at everything." TOM: "Okay." He resumes feeding the cat. It purrs. Tom smiles a little. Then kisses it. 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 29/06/2025Red Delicious Apples were the only fruit in our house growing up. That's how I know my parents either didn't actually eat fruit or didn't love us. Maybe both. 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 26/06/2025Glad I wasn't sitting down when you broke this news. 000
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 26/06/2025Nobody has tried to sell me brain pills or white nationalism yet, so I'm hesitantly hopeful. 000
Reposted by Zack Crass-𝚖𝚘𝚡 ☃︎ ❄︎ @moxiest.art · 12/09/2023Welcome to all the newskies. Our credentials are readily available. Here is a cat. 2798073
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 25/06/2025Settle for being Fergie. Make a soy milkshake. Bring soyboys to your yard. 010
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 25/06/2025media.tenor.coma woman says they 're the same picture while sitting in front of a windowALT: a woman says they 're the same picture while sitting in front of a window 020
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 25/06/2025When I leave my wallet in the car, I shove it down between the seat and center console. What sane burglar is reaching into that probably-wet-but-at-least-moist pit of despair where lost eras of my life live hand-in-sticky-hand with wayward gummy bears and a McDonald's fry hard enough to be a shiv? 010
Reposted by Zack CrassCyriak @cyriak.bsky.social · 22/06/2025They need to update that "Emperor's New Clothes" story and call it "The Emperor's New Bending Over & Spraying Projectile Diarrhea at Everyone" 115420
Reposted by Zack CrassNovelty Cistern @noveltycistern.bsky.social · 23/06/2025everybody good news! i fixed it! the album cover is okay now! we can all like it, it's something everyone can agree on now 493405530
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 23/06/2025This just explained my entire existence. Thanks, I think? 040
Reposted by Zack CrassFunky Punk @grandmastersupreme.bsky.social · 19/06/2025It blows my mind to know that there's adults who have never owned a Nokia. 0111
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 20/06/2025Was it an artistic choice to cast only people with mild meat sweats in all the Flex Seal testimonials? 010
Reposted by Zack CrassYour Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 19/06/2025lol unauthorized access to countertop detected 841812
Reposted by Zack CrassGeorge Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 16/06/2025Utah voters: Are these really your values? Mike Lee is the best you can do? 1086203215640
Zack Crass @zackcrass.bsky.social · 17/06/2025Is adjusting the font size of my phone text before screenshotting and sharing self-care, or just my futile last stand against becoming my parents? I can post this freely; it's not in all caps so they won't see it. But neither will I. 020
Reposted by Zack CrassAvishek ghosh @avishekcolours.bsky.social · 12/05/2025In a sad heart Size 17 by 13 inch on paper Medium oil Original available. 514410
Reposted by Zack CrassAvishek ghosh @avishekcolours.bsky.social · 24/05/2025From the cravings of cave Size 17 by 13 inch on paper Medium oil Original available 2643