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zach®

@zachlyons.com
236 followers 196 following 193 posts

atx • local greek yogurt goblin • retired high school football player • aspiring spiderman [he/him]

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Reposted by zach®
The Women's Game @womensgamemib.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Former NFL player JJ Watt doesn't play around when it comes to his wife Kealia Watt ‼️ His response to MLS team Real Salt Lake's tweet, where they failed to mention the former NWSL and USWNT soccer player, is iconic 👏
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🔞eek! the dragon!!🔞 @aquivorous.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 08/07/2026
Me. $6.
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Seth Rosenthal @sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
When these data centers become debt traps in a few years at most, the next Dem president should offer to wipe out those debts if they're sold for a dollar back to cities for community centers, mutual aid hubs, YMCA-style temporary housing services. Try to salvage anything out of this mess.
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aj @strawberry.bsky.to · 24/06/2026
people always ask me why i drink so much iced coffee. i actually have a genetic condition where my body doesn’t produce it’s own iced coffee. so i have to make my own and drink it every single day.
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Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
fresh off Cape Verde's 0-0 defeat of Spain, Cape Verde extends their streak with a 2-2 defeat of Uruguay
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onion person @junlper.beer · 19/06/2026
liberals when they see a meteor barreling straight towards earth:
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 20/06/2026
“Me gusta las pausas del hidratación”
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo
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John Muller @johnspacemuller.com · 17/06/2026
If you've never read this, or haven't revisited it in a while, today's a good day to remember it
spiegel.de
Cristiano Ronaldo: Kathryn Mayorga, The Woman Who Accuses Ronaldo of Rape
An American woman claims Cristiano Ronaldo raped her in Las Vegas. Years ago, the soccer star paid her to remain silent. Now, the woman is going public for the first time and filing a complaint agains...
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 16/06/2026
fox world cup broadcasts are really like here’s a longtime highly-respected host, two of the best and most watchable players of the past 25 years, and a teenage edgelord in the body of a rotting man whose only claim to fame was looking like a B-tier rural cult leader in the 90s
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 16/06/2026
THEY AREN'T ALLOWING COMMENTS ON THE #SHREK5 TRAILER THIS IS MADNESS #RESIST
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 15/06/2026
idk maybe UEFA needs to start fielding more “interesting” teams
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Sydney Bauer @sydney-bauer.com · 03/06/2026
look i think this is correct and not about brian personally, but its really interesting how this bite comes out when a cis person is wrongly labeled as trans and misgendered, but when this whole "kamala is for they/them ad shows dems should moderate on trans issues" dominated media for 2 years.
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 03/06/2026
Love getting emails from people telling me that ROI is a bad measurement of how good something is
I question, however, your focus on ROl as an indicator for success / failure of Al initiatives. ROl is essentially a bullshit metric based on an arcane paradigm that
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Jared Holt @jaredlholt.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
The problem is that “I am often scared and angry about social change” does not inherently lend itself to interesting art. You can be as technically skilled as the greats, but art with nothing interesting to say is just a commodity.
Matt Walsh post on X: “Imagine if conservatives, rather than pathetically crawling around on the ground to lap up discarded pop culture crumbs, actually went out and advanced their own creative and artistic vision. Imagine if we used an event like this to actually elevate our own artists and make them famous. What a crazy thought.”
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Abolish ICE @milpool.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Buzz comes out to Woody as gay and immediately follows up with “but I don’t find you attractive”
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 23/05/2026
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 21/05/2026
every day you’re not luke bryan is a victory. cherish it
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 20/05/2026
somebody please tell straight men at the gym they don’t have to smell like that
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 19/05/2026
Things are looking up for sports in Central Texas 😮‍💨
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 19/05/2026
SPURRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS
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Abolish ICE @milpool.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
All that is happening is the will of Victor Wembanyama
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 17/05/2026
truly a god-tier black hole of media literacy
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Schooley @schooley.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Every splashy New York Times profile of a right wing influencer.
Bugs Bunny giving a monster a manicure, caption: My I'll bet you monsters lead interesting lives.
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Los Verdes @losverdesatx.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
A joint statement from @austinanthem.org, @lamurgadeaustin.bsky.social, and Los Verdes #SAVETHECAPS
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Ben Hart @pavlovforgoths.com · 02/05/2026
a screenshot of Tim Heidecker as Alex Jones in Gay Infowars saying "now I am wearing his skin. I've been wearing his skin now for about two weeks and it is uh it is"
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 02/05/2026
Gonna be more like the Bimonthly Wire with the kinda money they’re gonna be down to
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onion person @junlper.beer · 02/05/2026
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 01/05/2026
Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts Andor The Other Two The Americans Arrested Development 30 Rock Mad Men Top Gear UK Nathan For You Review Sex Education Abbot Elementary What We Do in the Shadows Zoom Greek Veep
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 19/04/2026
As someone raised by, around, and as one of them, I endorse this message
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Bugs, Yaoist @bugsmaytrix.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Jarvis, feel the rain on your skin
close up of iron man in his suit, addressing jarvis
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 18/04/2026
Both but not quite equally. Like Serrano -level for Rodo and Habanero for Nico
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The Jigsaw Senator @senatormeow.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
what is the charge. what crime has been done
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 13/04/2026
Some of my favorite writers have already made the move to Ghost, too!
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josh boo-erman 👻 @bosh.worstpossible.world · 07/04/2026
me, after reading the news about the cease fire:
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Los Verdes @losverdesatx.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Our Fútbol y Comunidad team is proud to shine a light on Black Mamas ATX + the 2026 Black Maternal Health Week Summit. BMATX is fighting the Black maternal health crisis through free doula support, mental health services, and community advocacy! Register here: whova.com/portal/regis...
Los Verdes is proud to support the Black Mamas ATX 2026 Black Maternal Health Summit April 11-17
April 11: Summit launch with keynote by Austin Public Health Director Adrienne Sturrup (Free catered lunch & on-site childcare included)
April 11-17: Daily live virtual sessions followed by a community mixer in person on the 17th
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 03/04/2026
spaghetti
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Erin Grievances @erinbartram.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Did they see all of us complaining about how hard writing was and think this was the solution we wanted when what we really wanted was robust funding for the arts and humanities and comments in MS Word footnotes?
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onion person @junlper.beer · 31/03/2026
anyone ever noticed how psychotically evil, cruel, and anti-human republicans are
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shaunt @shaunvids.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
i love how the concept of 'baggage' works in this world, where saying some mediumly rude thing on a livestream sometime is treated as cause for permanent political exile, but actual concrete political support for the mass slaughter of civilians in gaza is fine. mandatory, even
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The Ken In Yellow @kenlowery.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
I love y'all but you gotta learn the value of saying "that's dumb" and then moving on with your day
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zach® @zachlyons.com · 20/03/2026
that’s just what happens when you live in the south and die in dark souls
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Emily St. James @emilystjams.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
Do this every year, so... the last 10 Best Picture winners, ranked by tier: Great: 1. Parasite 2. Moonlight 3. One Battle... 4. Oppenheimer Really good: 5. Everything Everywhere... 6. Anora 7. Shape of Water Good: 8. Nomadland Um...: 9. CODA No: 10. Green Book A good crop!
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josh boo-erman 👻 @bosh.worstpossible.world · 16/03/2026
part of the problem with working in the arts is that to have a shot at success, you need to believe in yourself to a degree that would be considered excessive and vulgar in most other industries
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Jordan Uhl @jordanuhl.com · 16/03/2026
Javier Bardem at the Oscars: No to war, and free Palestine.
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Abolish ICE @milpool.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
If you’re not in Texas and have been commenting ad nauseam about Talarico having a religious belief system read this and/or shut the hell up
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Los Verdes @losverdesatx.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
SÁBADO 🗣️ Join us Saturday at The Brewtorium for SLC vs. Austin FC! Watch Party starts at 7:30pm.
Watch Party Saturday, March 14 at The Brewtorium
6015 Dillard Cir A, Austin, TX 78752
7:30 party start, 8:30pm kickoffWatch Party Sábado Marzo 14 en The Brewtorium
6015 Dillard Cir A, Austin, TX 78752
7:30 comienzo, 8:30pm patada inicialThanks for our local media friends for sharing our watch party info on their podcasts!

Emergency Podcast
Moontower Soccer
The North End Podcast
Otra X Favor
Suffering From Joy
The Verdependent Podcast
We Are Austin TV
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