iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

No way to confirm that I didn't off myself, no way to confirm whether or not the place was ransacked.

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Generative AI is trained on stolen works, copyrighted material, and revenge porn.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Bite me, he said. You're not worth the dental floss, I replied.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Me: Is Sam Neill's name spelt with one L, or two? Boyfriend: One L. Me: Thanks. Boyfriend: Unless it's Christmastime. Then it's Noël.

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

No, no, amateur. Ya gotta add alcohol to it first.

030

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Dating vapers does have its down-sides, but on the other hand, there is always someone willing to take the dog outside at 2am.

100

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Fresh Pineapple: That's a nice every single gap between your teeth you got there...

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

(Ah, look out, all the lurking cryptids) (Ah, look out, all the lurking cryptids) Regional cryptid Bipedal tracks fill with plaster as fans take a mould Footprints then sold

020

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Yo, while we're all mad about being involuntary volunteers for megacorps, I also learnt today that Duolinguo uses users as an unpaid translation service for its real clients. Special thanks to @jennymckinnon.bsky.social and @fishyash.bsky.social for the heads up. slate.com/technology/2...

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Can't believe it took me this long to realise the CAPTCHAs are having us identify buses, bicycles, traffic lights, and zebra crossings because that data is being used to program the driving software so its algorithm can recognise it. Genius stuff, but a bit terrifying.

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Boyfriend: [asleep] [grinding teeth] Me: [firmly] Don't grind your teeth. Boyfriend: Don't grind teeth. Okay 🎵 Me: Okay 💕 Boyfriend: [most godawful snore known to man]

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Katherine Gallagher finally discovers the potato peeler, 79 years behind everybody else.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Lowkey furious that in the USA they have a hot dog place called Weinershnitzel. Weinerdogs was RIGHT THERE.

042

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Me: It's funny how you used to post incel videos and the other incels would get mad because you were too handsome and call you a "fakecel" and an "ethnic chadlite". They didn't even rate you high-tier normie, you were one rank below chad! Former Incel Boyfriend: You weren't meant to learn the terms!

110

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Don't forget to leave cookies and oil out for George Bush tonight!

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Society: Dinosaurs are so cool! I fucking love science! Scientists: Hey, did you know that dinosaurs actually looked more like birds than lizards? Society: Shuddup dweeb, we are deciding no they didn't.

020

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

[stuffing pizza slices into blender] Who's ready for Margaritaaas!?!

120

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

This is why my boyfriend's fit watch counted 220 steps after sex.

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

If your rubber ducky floats upside down, it is of poor quality and the base is too lightweight to create the proper centre of gravity.

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Read right to the end of "Psycho" and the so-called twist was exactly what I guessed. "More Great Titles By This Publisher." That's been done so many times already.

053

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Not what I expected for "these things always happen in threes," but the crossover art for Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, and King Harald V of Norway will definitely be something.

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

New Therapist: We're gonna test you for autism. Me: Ha! They all do that. Clear negative every time. New Therapist: It's just that you do tick a lot of the boxes. Me: Oh, I know. Turns out that combining inattentive ADHD and cPTSD in an introvert results in "I Can't Believe It's Not Autism."

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I just misread "writing cabinet" as "writhing cabinet", opening up an entire spectrum of possibilities for old-timey quack cures.

001

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Spotted catto beans, toes with the fur (fur) The whole club was starting to purr

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Ugly wallpaper should be illegal. I will not be taking questions on this.

043

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Incels: Once we get robot girlfriends it'll be OVER for you women! You'll be alone in your apartments with your cats, and- Women: And our robot boyfriends. Incels: No, you're meant t- Women: With full heads of hair, flat stomachs, vibrating genitals, and no domestic violence! Incels: ABORT RESEARCH!

040

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Nobody has ever told me in my 40+ years that I should have or even want kids, but apparently this week one of my dad's guy friends told my brother that he was selfish for not wanting children and I'm like "this is not the gender equality I envisioned but lol"

040

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Do not fall asleep listening to true crime. Detective Slumbertime and I caught this serial killer in the act EIGHT TIMES and threw him into prison, only for him to walk straight back out of jail when we did and start murdering again right in front of us.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Got this alert as I turned into the supermarket snack aisle.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

You have nostalgia for your childhood movies. I have nostalgia for the first time I tried halloumi. We are not the same.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

2009 doesn't seem that long ago, until you are cleaning out your father's spice drawer.

182

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Me: Oh Dad, I have a new boyfriend. Inconsistently Racist Dad: Oh yeah? Me: He's a family lawyer. And he has an accounting degree. And he's indigenous. Dad: Well, at least he's not Jewish. I fucken hate Jews. Me: I'M Jewish!

011

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

"If you could go back in time and give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?" I would just start listing off the undiagnosed medical issues the poor child had until the connection broke. No amount of wisdom and attitude checks can counterbalance constant raging diarrhoea.

001

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Stepkid: Hey. Me: Hey. Stepkid: Got any candy? Me: Bag of lollipops. Grab one. Stepson: I got a cherry one without even trying! {i am a beloved member of the family}

020

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards me heavily bullying you about it.

030

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Told my autistic boyfriend I would love to go out to dinner with him and to name a time and formality for the eatery. I meant fine dining vs casual vs family restaurant. He thought I meant dress code and said business formal. Spent the afternoon perfecting my Windsor knot for the dumplings place.

031

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Me: After this hospital appointment, I can have all the ice cream I want! Otolaryngologist: I don't know if you'll be able to swallow it. Me: I'll spit.

022

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Chartreuse and Vermilion were switched at birth.

031

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Took a love test about my new relationship. When I clicked Results, I got a banner saying "Critical Error". Gosh, I hope they mean the website.

020

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Me: Ooh, what is this? Ethnic Grocery Website: GUESS, BITCH

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Okay yes I am filled with eternal feminine rage but also I ate too much pasta so honestly the tiredness could be coming from either.

001

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

So much for the tolerant Left.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

"Are you wearing the..." "The mummified baby? Yeah, I am."

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Them: Don't give tech companies your personal information! Me [banging on Zuckerberg's bathroom window]: My back hurts.

020

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons image.

041

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Three Kittens: Let's explore the toilet! Me, trying to shit: wut The Dog: We can't all fit in here. The Marching Band: We ain't yielding. Gerard Way's Dad: Keep watching, son.

010

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Boyfriend and stepsons have been going through a big bag of lollipops for a few weeks, evidently under the impression that some had bubblegum inside and some didn't. They all have gum. Apparently, my beloved family has just been blithely swallowing the gum believing it to be a chewy candy centre.

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Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Youngest stepson got the hiccups. His father said "We have to give him a scare." So I told him about the economy.

040

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

My stepkids might hate me but the joke's on them because their little arms are weak and their punches feel like a massage.

000

Xzigalia @xzigalia.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Curse the man who described the human body thusly

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