woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 25/12/2025@marthawells.com Just thank you. Thank you, and merry christmas if you celebrate. Thank you and happy holidays if you’ve got another thing going on. That you are who you are, every day of you, and all the words you’ve given, they’ve enriched me. Thank you, you matter so much. 110
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Buy your kids blue bathing suits. Too many kids, insufficient haunted lakes. 000
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 06/04/2025Everybody always telling me to watch shit, but nobody watching the shit I tell ‘em to. 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 01/04/2025How much of capitalism is predicted on the fact that rational people would rather chew off their own foot like a fox in a trap than self promote in a cover letter? 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 09/03/2025@babblingfringe.bsky.social This cat loves you so much that I had no choice but to capitulate and keep you around all the time. Happy birthday old man. 050
Reposted by woodenspoonEasilyDistracted @babblingfringe.bsky.social · 09/12/2024@rincewind.run the dice advent calendar had metal D20s in it tonight! I didn’t order one with a full metal set because of expense and “that will hurt the table” stuff… but metal D20s! As a treat! 021
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 11/12/2024The underside of my boss’s Tesla grill, talk about going green. 000
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 27/11/2024I ran an Ethernet cable above the acoustic tiles at my office to move a router. Resume speak, I planned and executed a CAT5 infrastructure upgrade. Crazy. 1122
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 14/11/2024Today my coworker sneezed a big old booger onto my keyboard, which scared him so badly that he peed himself. He then fell into his pee puddle and ran away crying. He has since been consoled. 051
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 13/09/2023Started working at an animal hospital, petting a lot of scrimblejacks. 021
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 19/08/2023Where am I in my life? My younger friends call me up, say they’re constipated, and I bomb over to their apartments with that good good fleet mothafuckin’ enema. Older than shit, don’t fuck around with ya GI health. 000
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 11/08/2023Not having kids, have to spread the wisdom of making people wash their hands before they finger you to strange young people on the internet. 021
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 05/08/2023I wish I'd lived in the old west/spritualism heyday. I wanna be like, "If'n thurs a spirit round yonder, ya'll listen up! Go on'n git!” I promise, I sound fucking hilarious saying this. 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 01/08/2023Me : We’re coming into town on the train. Buddy : You getting dropped off at the train station? Me : Yeah, man, that’s where the trains stop. 020
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 01/08/2023I am become a noodle on this train. An accidental noodle am I. 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 28/07/2023If I were a breakfast food, I would be canned corned beef hash. @babblingfringe.bsky.social would be prosciutto and pears. Don’t know how we make this work, but very very grateful. 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 02/07/2023Bothers me when characters in mainstream romance movies smell bouquets of, like, mums. Honey, you are supposed to be a florist - get with the program. 010
woodenspoon @woodenspoon.bsky.social · 25/06/2023Croc charms creep me out. Just that they exist as a concept is bad enough, but I can’t shake the thought that they’re all caked with filth. Plus, no one is looking at your Crocs because they care about your personality or interests, I assure you. 070
