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Wolflawyer

@wolflawyer.bsky.social
2.3K followers 264 following 4.4K posts

Lawyer; Rockstar; Wolf.

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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
He was a boy He was back in town Can I make it any more obvious?
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This will lead to measured takes on podcasts I’m sure.
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Ian Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 30/09/2026
BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“The start was consensual therefore so was the end” is a logic that is bizarrely attractive to a lot of men. Somehow I don’t think that they would consider agreeing to come round for a beer after work to be in any way inactive of consent to me violating them afterwards.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I guess I have to go and hear this choosing Texas song because it’s impossible that nobody has heard it. Is there a pop goes punk version I can get into?
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I don’t get out much and whenever I do I usually have headphones in and I’m listening to something released on Seasons of Mist. I haven’t heard this. Yes it is because I am ignorant of the culture of the moment. It’s all fine.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I disagree. But I am a good employer who gets loyalty and effort out of my staff rather than a loser who flogs them and then complains when they jump ship as soon as they can.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Oh yeah no doubt. Can you imagine if the US was associated with war crimes and barbarism? I can barely conceive of such a situation.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Me: “Marketing doesn’t work on me. Brands can’t use trends to get me to buy things like you sheep.” Wendy’s: releases an emo EP about their products and it slaps. Me: “this fucking rules… still don’t want a frosty though.”
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I’m now seeing television ads encouraging me to holiday in the USA. Literally never seen that before. Things over there must be cooked.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I liked the Ed Sheeran x Bring Me The Horizon collab. I hope Oli Sykes doesn’t suck.
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AkivaMCohen @akivamcohen.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Closing in on 10k now. I won't be able to keep boosting this over rosh Hashana, so if you could help this spread before that, that would be fantastic
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
So… which high ranking FBI hire did they find out is a goat fucker?
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Appreciate the conclusion but not the logic. I’m really not convinced that having had your boots on the ground is all that relevant to whether you can win a war. Obama never fought in a war but I reckon he could’ve done just fine in this situation. Cf. Pete Hegseth and JD Vance.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
The whole Lake Ontario thing is so bad. Imagine thinking you’ve ruined the lyrics to Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and also that it’s a good thing.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I’m a rich, straight, white-passing guy. For the most part my concern with despots is academic. For some people it’s not. People who wield hate as a political weapon make their lives darker. If I lived with someone sitting on my chest I expect I’d be glad for them to die so I could breathe.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
“Betcha won’t eat this handful of small magnets.”
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
The trouble with BlueSky is that it’s full of neurodivergent over thinkers like me. I post an interesting but undercooked thought about music, art, sports and everyone engages with it on the same intellectual level. On Facebook those morons just heart react and comment about how correct I am.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
This might be a more compelling observation if I thought he considered women to be human. In this reality though it’s like saying “I’m not racist because my iPhone was made in China.”
Elon Musk quote: “my partner is half Indian and I have four children with her so I would say I’m not racist.”
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
If George Soros was who the right says he is then he’d be devoting his efforts to building AI data centres next to Trump-owned properties.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I’m looking forward to all the people whinging about The Odyssey in five years time telling us about how The Odyssey is an example of diverse casting done properly because it fit the story but whatever thing is coming out that week is different because it’s doing it just to be woke.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Must feel so good for text after you hit ctrl-x, floating in liminal space, before ctrl-v thrusts it back onto the desolate page
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Bold for a guy who gets totally mogged by Stalin.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I’m done hiding now I’m shining like a
Butterbean. But, it’s the boxer named butterbean.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Just found out that Türkiye rebranded specifically to avoid being associated with the birds. I therefore propose that we rebrand Turkeys as Türkiyes.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
No this is still girl dinner.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Checked this against the figures in the Table of Maims and it seems pretty spot on keeping in mind these haven’t been updated since 2010.
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BNO News @bnonews.com · 15/12/2025
WATCH: Replica of the Statue of Liberty topples due to strong winds in Guaíba, Brazil
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
People complain about recasting Geralt ruining The Witcher as if it hasn’t sucked since season 2. It went sideways in quality, not down.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
Parkway Drive Parkway Drive Parkway Drive Parkway Drive Parkway Drive I don’t even really like Parkway Drive. I’m just Australian.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
Ugh, I hate to agree with JD Vance but Turkey is pointless and Americans have been peer pressure led by dead people into thinking it’s good. It’s just worse chicken.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
Idea: a streaming service that whittles Jason Statham movies down to just the fight scenes and you can watch them in like fifteen minutes and not really miss anything.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Early 2024: “we don’t need to invest in woke renewables. And we don’t need foreign oil or anything foreign for that matter! Drill baby drill!” Late 2025: “we must invade Venezuela to slake our thirst for foreign oil reserves”
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
ONE MUTILATION UNDER GOD!
Pope on the mic
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Within the next twelve months somebody is going to say to me: “oh so you think you’re smarter than the AI?” and I’m going to be right and unable to convince them because they cannot follow a path of reasoning and refuse to comprehend that someone else can. When they ask why I did it, tell them.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Presented without comment
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
All those soundbites from earlier this year of Trump saying “Big Beautiful Bill” are about to be hilarious.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
This actually works for all purposes. “Your honour the statute was repealed the day before my client did that and re-enacted the day after. I haven’t paid my Lexis Nexis subscription and they cut me off so this isn’t frivolous it’s just run-of-the-mill wrong.”
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
A couple of months ago I had a weird phone call with the friend of a guy that I’m suing. He told me about all the “bad people” that seem to be involved in their business and I was like “ah man I’m sorry to hear that.” My autistic ass just realised he was trying to threaten me.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
This is where we handle presidential business… and also yes this is the reception for the millennial weddings.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
So does Zohran Mamdani have to start totally sucking shit the moment he gets elected Mayor of New York or does he get a couple of months to ease into it?
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
Telling journalists about health care plans: ❌ Telling journalists about battle plans: ✅
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Holy shit they made a robot teenager.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
All my apes… returned?
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
Credit to Trump on this one. Having rich guys pay a big chunk of their money in order to fund the government is a novel concept and I think we should explore it further.
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 18/10/2025
you: taylor swift needs to address criticisms that her lyrics are heteronormative morality tales aimed at reifying tradwife narratives in an age of reemergent fascism tectonic plate sandwiched between the continental crust and the earth's mantle: *shifts imperceptibly
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
I was an edgelord teen. I listened to death metal and drew the album art on my school books and all that. At that point I just thought it was cool to shock. Satan was evil. So were Nazis. I didn’t understand the difference between drawing pentagrams in my English binder and drawing swastikas. /1
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
Socially liberal and fiscally conservative right up until it costs more money to gatekeep a service than it does to give it away for free. Then suddenly it makes sense to spend a disproportionate amount of money to keep charging for the service so as to maintain the social order.
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
They’re going to pay me to take drugs. Hell yeah!
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Wolflawyer @wolflawyer.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
To secure a peace prize, prepare for war.
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