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w i l l

@willpauer.com
230 followers 68 following 5.9K posts

i literally don't have anything better to do on this platform than shitpost and troll so if you take anything i say seriously it's your own fault

PostsRepliesMedia
w i l l @willpauer.com · 26/02/2026
The outright arrogance and imagined superiority of American leftists caused this. "BuT hArRiS iSn'T tough EnOuGh On GaZa" Look at what you did to your own people, and not a single one of you narcissistic scumbags can put aside your unwarranted self-importance long enough to admit you were wrong.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 26/02/2026
This all could have been avoided, but you all in your infinite arrogance just didnt think Harris was tough enough on Gaza.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 20/02/2026
y'all just couldn't vote for Harris, could you.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 16/01/2026
I just don't give a damn about this platform anymore. full of people unwilling to take direct action, people who don't think they're to blame for this shit, people who would rather bloviate online than do something. pure slacktivism.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 15/01/2026
people on the eastern seaboard need to start stocking up NOW food, medicine, potable and non-potable water, plastic sheets, duct tape, toilet paper, heating materials NOW
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 10/01/2026
ASK ME THINGS. ngl.link/will.pauer
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 08/01/2026
There's a lot of opportunities
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 03/01/2026
Kamala Harris probably wouldn't have bombed Venezuela. just sayin.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 01/01/2026
okay sure, but I'm using my elbow if I gotta
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 01/01/2026
is it possible to both eschew toxic masculinity and have a potato for a brain
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 31/12/2025
i genuinely did not know men had such issues with washing themselves until a few years ago. i thought what i was doing - body wash and a loofah scrubby thing - was the normal thing, and to this day i cannot believe i was wrong
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 29/12/2025
a transphobe accusing someone else of white supremacy is pretty funny, considering where we are
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 29/12/2025
i don't see the problem
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 29/12/2025
and there it is, Nyla's entire ass right there on my TL
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 28/12/2025
in full agreement. also these same dudes will shit on women for being Disney adults but then will consume every bit of Marvel/Star Wars they can
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 27/12/2025
if you see a friend on a dating app, ✨️no you fucking didn't✨️
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 25/12/2025
Hell yeah brother
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 25/12/2025
I asked Santa for a single goth woman in her late 30s who's interested in me, and then I remembered I have no tree to put presents under, and no chimney to come down, and that I'm Santa
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Chiitan🌈ちぃたん☆ @chiitan.love · 23/12/2025
You don't need to think about what is "normal." You are you. One day, the world will come where there is no need to categorize people as LGBT🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 Until that day arrives, I will continue to send out this message. Your soul is beautiful.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 23/12/2025
thinking of doing the most self-destructive thing possible and get back on the dating apps
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 23/12/2025
the hole is shifted so far to the left lol
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 21/12/2025
I've needed the bathroom for the past two hours but I don't want to go til I go to lunch at 1 and I feel this exercise of holding rhe barbarians at the gate will only make me stronger either that or I shit my pants
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 21/12/2025
I made the greatest personals ad ever on FetLife
a personals ad on Fetlife

title: "Absolute Shitwreck Seeking Undeniable Greatness"

body: "I'm a complete trainwreck with a small penis and absolutely no potential whatsoever. I'm fat, I play video games all day and all night, I survive on energy drinks and imported cheese, and I have an IQ equal to the daytime temperature in winter. I'm about as deep as the potholes on Burnside, as cultured as the parking lot at Grand and Oak, and as reliable as an Italian car. Seriously tho, I have no idea what to put in these anymore. Might as well have some fun with it. Read my profile and get to know me."
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 21/12/2025
I'm 44, this isn't my realm
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 21/12/2025
I made the greatest personals ad ever on FetLife
a personals ad on Fetlife

title: "Absolute Shitwreck Seeking Undeniable Greatness"

body: "I'm a complete trainwreck with a small penis and absolutely no potential whatsoever. I'm fat, I play video games all day and all night, I survive on energy drinks and imported cheese, and I have an IQ equal to the daytime temperature in winter. I'm about as deep as the potholes on Burnside, as cultured as the parking lot at Grand and Oak, and as reliable as an Italian car. Seriously tho, I have no idea what to put in these anymore. Might as well have some fun with it. Read my profile and get to know me."
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Drew Magary @drewmagary.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
GREAT NEWS! This year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog is powered by AI! defector.com/the-2025-hat...
Me: Olive I simply cannot find a good olive oil cake to serve for our dear friend Adolf Hitler this year. what do we
do?!

Bot: Sorry, I can't assist with that.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 16/12/2025
so we couldn't start off with a blue chicken. damn
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 16/12/2025
how the hell do you even get one blue chicken, let alone a whole farm
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 15/12/2025
I am drunk
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 14/12/2025
oh yes, I learned it at a young age from a scholar named Sir Mix-A-Lot
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 14/12/2025
now just imagine being a Cardinals fan
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 14/12/2025
using this word at the goth club tonight
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 14/12/2025
i'm trying to be respectful :<
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 14/12/2025
oh come on, this isn't fair
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downchasm @downchasm.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
THEY'VE PUT ME ON THE POCKETSTATION COOP. I'M BEING RENDERED IN A 32 BY 32 GRID OF MONOCHROME PIXELS. THE BOYS BACK AT QUANTICO SAID THEY'RE GOING TO RELOCATE ME TO A "DOKO DEMO ISSYO" UNTIL THEY CAN GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT.
sony pocketstation
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 13/12/2025
if they're going to play The Church or The Cure in public, can it be "Reptile" or "Love Cats" respectively?
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 13/12/2025
anyone who gives a fuck about someone else being "trans enough" can just walk into the fuckin sea. fuck em. don't want em, don't need em.
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dawn of the debb @debbshock.com · 12/12/2025
get in, no time to explain
a big semi with "SLUTS" painted colorfully on the side
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 12/12/2025
i admit it, if i played Tomb Raider games my queer ass would be all over this, not even gonna lie about it
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
pretty much every famous person - hell, most people in general - have done something shitty. the choice is to cut them off completely and never enjoy their works again, or accept that humanity is by nature a shitful species and enjoy what your conscience allows.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
Can't wait to see people breaking the shit factories and making Mickey do horrible things. maybe they'll rethink this shitty idea after that
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
H Y D R A T E Y D R A T E
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
the sheer number of Ranma lemons available online in the late 90s could have toppled entire nations
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
also I misread it; it's "visited", not "violated", so no rush
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
paging @majima.club
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
Yahtzee, you wound me deeply @ 4:16. what have I done to offend you so grievously that you would mock me so viciously.
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
there were other codes for some of my friends but mostly it was my family trying to grt a hold of me it was one of the mountain dew pagers too, which was kinda cool at the time
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
I had a pager when I was a teen for family reasons. some codes: 9265 20 "where are you? call home" 9265 700 "it's mom, I'm at work" 1196 555 "it's your sister, call me" 5046 555 "it's your brother, call me" 9265 911 "drop what you're doing and call home now" 9265 123 "it's dad, call home soon"
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 11/12/2025
got any in plain black? I'll take 60
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w i l l @willpauer.com · 10/12/2025
men poison the well and then complain that they can't drink the water. lima oscar lima
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