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William Bayfield

@williambayfield.bsky.social
269 followers 356 following 1K posts

Writer. www.williambayfield.com

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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 8h
Like, if I was a fossil fuel boss, and I was 100% confident the climate was fine and my business wasn't a threat, I think I’d still be too self-conscious that people thought I just wanted money and fuck everything else. Guess I’m just shallow. Fossil fuel bosses must have real... integrity, right?
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I've never been in a situation where I've had the chance to make a life-alteringly insane amount of money, provided I was willing to jeopardise the viability of the entire planet as a life-sustaining ecosystem. But if I was, I like to think I'd do the right thing.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Enough.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
“#nokings #nokings #nokings #nokings #nokings”
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Oh no. Not Coe. He had so much more to give.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Mad Men: Roger Sterling's 'Who Cares' Whiskey
ALT: Mad Men: Roger Sterling's 'Who Cares' Whiskey
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My dream, you ask? Oh, I am but a simple man. My aim is merely to become YouTube’s leading authority on to-do list apps.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I think today’s Wordle might just be the proudest moment of my life.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Jumping onto Bluesky to check out lots of posts about US politicians I'm extremely vague on.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Bored now.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I wish to announce that I have published 'Abandoned Exercise Equipment', a new collection of short stories, via Kindle. Short and sweet, as cheap as I could make it. I'll do a freebie week as soon as I get organised, but if anyone's feelin' fancy... 👇 www.amazon.com/Abandoned-Ex...
The cover for Abandoned Exercise Equipment, a collection of short stories by William Bayfield.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Teaser for the Backrooms sequel just dropped.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“Choleric truck uncles” is my new favourite phrasing.
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Reposted by William Bayfield
Jack Grimes @jackapedia.design · 16/09/2026
If this blowback pushes Ed Sheeran into veering hard right I think he will be the new funniest guy conservatives have to pretend they listen to. Choleric truck uncles performatively repeat-streaming songs you'd hear in an Old Navy at 10 AM
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I’d never heard of this Robert Kraft fellow an hour ago but he sure has introduced himself to the world now.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
One thing I’m still learning is that, whenever I take an immediate, groundlessly irrational dislike to a public figure, they will almost invariably prove me right in the end. But the question is: why did all those performers associate themselves themselves with Ed Sheeran in the first place?
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Nice, but the jokes are now almost indistinguishable from the actual shit he puts out. It’s like, if satire died when Kissinger won the Nobel peace prize, MAGA is killing satire in the most inhumane way possible, then boiling down its carcass to extract the precursor chemicals.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Killing time till five o’clock counting how many wrestlers each month are listed in ‘Deaths in 2026’ on Wikipedia. Today feels like it should be a Thursday.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Thought I’d drop into #Booksky to admit that I’m not really enjoying reading Proust, but then I did a search for posts about his work and I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
starting to think social media isn't really worth it
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Not sure about this new big-spending Tottenham timeline. It just feels like we’ve become another top-10 trading club, shuffling through vaguely anonymous players who didn’t quite make it at other rich clubs. Think I might be missing the no-big-signings days, frustrating though they were.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Ready to start setting up meetings with Google with my rebrand pitch.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Not really that keen on LinkedIn but I do have to use it for work at the moment, and I just noticed someone from the US Department of Homeland Security has been checking out my profile. That seems… odd.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Gets better each year.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I'm going to have to disappoint you. And I intend to enjoy it.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
America a country gripped tonight…
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Make a band bigger: Tropical Fuck Hurricane
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
James Bond writer tempted to set next 007 movie in surprise locationPremier Inn Slough Central South (Windsor Road) hotel
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I liked Lanterns a lot. Then I saw that Lucy Mangan in the Guardian - who gave five stars to the abysmal The Assassin - did not, so now I love it.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Ahhh, that time of year when my Youtube algorithm is flooded with video thinkpieces about how Tottenham has done phenomenal business this transfer window and are a lock to win the title. Mmm, such precious times. #thfc #coys
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Who is more repulsive? Pauline? Or Barnaby?
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I guess this film has got Word of Mouth figured out then.
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Reposted by William Bayfield
Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
inside you there are two woolfs
I'm in a cursed mood and can't bear the human face, so put off coming here, I advise you, as long as possible. Perhaps by the end of the week I shall be thawed. God Knows.

_____

VIRGINIA WOOLF,

letter to Ethel Smyth, 10th February 1933Your heart requires moonlight.

_______

VIRGINIA WOOLF,

letter to Vita Sackville-West, 7 October 1928
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
His PR people must just stand there thinking “wish I’d never quit working for Senator Agsby.”
m.youtube.com
Brass Eye - Senator Agsby
YouTube video by Matt Stone
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Okay but he did shoot the nudity. He's clear that people don't want to see nudity, but he shot it nonetheless... youtu.be/MKEUujz12S4?...
youtu.be
Mitchell And Web Look "Now We Know"
YouTube video by Lockett552
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I’m sorry but if I happened to be at a Dolce & Gabbana fashion show, I’d be all “ooh who’ll be there? Zendaya? Chalamet? The lady Gaga?” I would get fucking whiplash if I ended up sitting next to Pauline Hanson and Gina Rinehart.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
California should start a sovereign wealth fund with all the bail money they’re gonna collect from people vandalising that star.
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Pops @pops131.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
He should get the medal of freedom for what he did!
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Got my test alert. I’m sure there’s no reason whatsoever why the government just happens to be rolling this out all of a sudden. Can’t think of anything going on in the world right now that would make them prioritise something like this.
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Mark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
I follow an account (Jay Waters @jaywaters.bsky.social) that posts the very same message every day. And every day I "like" it. 👍 #TheTruthMatters
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Apparently, according to Wordle at least, “cunty” is not a word.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Brilliant piece about JD Vance’s “cafeteria Catholicism”. www.commonwealmagazine.org/brock-vance-...
commonwealmagazine.org
Hillbilly Eulogy
Ohio has known hucksters like J. D. Vance before. The state has a long memory for men who climb the ladder and then kick it down after them.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Morning boss. I’m afraid I won’t be able to work today as I want to stay in bed playing on my phone.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Okay. The World Cup is over, so now... tax returns!
static.klipy.com
Nicholas Hoult as Peter III: Huzzah!
ALT: Nicholas Hoult as Peter III: Huzzah!
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Reposted by William Bayfield
Fifthcolumnblue @fifthcolumnblue.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Argentina.
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Dan @dansparano.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Ugh. These two crooked fucks. #WorldCup
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
SBS really on the ball since full time. Ten minutes of adverts and an interview in French.
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William Bayfield @williambayfield.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Hang it in the Museo de Arte Latinoamericano de Buenos Aires. @iandunt.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/iandunt/...
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Reposted by William Bayfield
Digital Brain @yourdigitalbrain.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The single greatest shot in TV history , how one frame replaced pages of script and defined a character in seconds.
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