iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That political test everyone is sharing leaves much to be desired, but I am pretty happy after taking it having been paired with Liebknecht, Einstein, and Engels, while the three furthest figures from me were fucking Charlemagne, Franz Ferdinand, and Edmund Burke lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

At least the teams that had Cristiano Ronaldo in the 2010s and early 20s knew that they, while a piece of shit, were getting one of the best players in the world. It takes the aptitude of the Colorado Rapids to sign a player who is both a garbage can of a man at the sport AND an all-time shithead!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Sometimes I help my dad transcribe questions for the Network Engineering class he teaches. It's 99% dry and technical, but today in the Cybersecurity chapter I got absolutely blindside-punched in the dick by the question "What is the purpose of Sinn Féin?" with the answer "To spread propaganda" lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

My Aunt told me that she saw Tim Tebow speak the other day and I'm not sure exactly what emotion she was trying to elicit by telling me that, but the look I gave her was apparently not the correct one

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I have Xbox Game Pass on PC because I've been in "I can barely exist anymore" mode for the last two years, and cause I hate myself I decided to try out a Call of Duty game What the fuck do you mean that "CoD: Modern Warfare 3" and "CoD: Modern Warfare III" are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FUCKING GAMES

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I love playing hockey sim games cause what do you mean Ovechkin, Kane, and Malkin are playing together on the Jets' second line in 2028

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Trapped in the Safeway entrance because during the 5 minutes I was in there, a torrential downpour started lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

This is also how I'd style my hair if I was told I was gonna be the cover athlete for a pro bowling game

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Reposted by uzworm

New York Eagles @nyeagles.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Felicidades to our World Cup Winner, Yeremy Pino!! #cpfc

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Death, taxes, and the Rockies bullpen being a parade of the biggest dickheads sport has to offer lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Rockies tonight are starting a guy whose change-up is only 4 MPH slower than his fastball 😐

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Asked my aunt for sunscreen and she handed me what looked like a giant tube of chapstick; a stick of sunscreen is a method I'd never seen before and I gotta say, it's both far less effective AND much harder to put on than any other method!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

If Tuchel is afraid of the backlash he's going to get back in England, I know a country that loves to take in exiled Germans with US assistance

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

On the bright side several of my family who are out here are from states where weed isn't legal so they decided to try out Colorado's dankest edibles. They bought several bags and gave me all the leftovers Might fuck around, take 8 at a time and see what happens

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Sitting in a restaurant with extended family and my brother says "the White bloodline is fleeting", in reference to him and I not having kids, quite loudly He did not immediately understand why I shot him a look

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

People have often told me that I'm an overly loud person (I am), but much of my extended family are in town and I'm reminded that I might as well be a chronic mumbler compared to some of my aunts and cousins

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

How are you offside as the slowest man on Earth

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

My aunt just asked me what match I was watching the highlights from. I then looked at the TV, saw "ALG-AUT," and what confidently came out of my mouth was "Algeria vs. Autism" 😐

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

Canada should be ashamed of themselves for taking that long to score against a team that collectively had the first touch and passing ability of a rhinoceros wearing Uggs

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Watching YouTube on my parents' Roku is an interesting experience because there's no Ad Block so I get to see the sorts of ads my mother is getting, which mostly appear to be about "the mistakes women over 50 make with their bras"

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Sanho Tree @sanho.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Technically, they’re Remains now.

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

If the Grizzlies wanted to add Coward and Boozer to their lineup, they could have just drafted me. Would've been cheaper!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Bruno and Ronaldo are in stiff competition for the Fallon d'Floor award

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Every four years I'm reminded that I'm incapable of seeing the word "Uruguay" without saying "U R MR GAY" out loud

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

The world cup is great cause you get to see incredible feats of athleticism and then occasionally an Egyptian player taking the worst shot in the history of the sport

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Goaltending was awful for the first few games of the SCF but one team wasn't able to change their G because they'd dug themselves too deep in a hole spending months trying to justify his ass being there even as he stunk up the joint, and the team that DID change immediately won? lol and/or lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

It's really funny that the entire world is pissed at the World Cup being in the US and the only people online defending it have usernames like "USMNTOtaku"

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Ultima @ultimashadow.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

THEY WILL BE REUNITED

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

I can kinda see why Paramount+ dropped the Among Us animated series with no fanfare on a random Friday afternoon cause it isn't very good 😬

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

If you're wondering how my year is going, the bar I'm at just gave my debit card to the wrong guy cause he used the same bank lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Twitter's currently having a moment arguing over what counts as "Hipster music" from the late 00s and early 10s, and the answer remains very simple: If it's a band I've heard of from the era, it's not hipster music

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

When someone tries to talk to me about the Stanley Cup Final but I've spent the last three hours watching bowling ball restoration videos on TikTok instead because I don't hate myself

static.klipy.com

Monkey Side Eye Meme

Alt: The Monkey puppet Side Eye Meme

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Not to besmirch people caught by scam texts, but if anyone with a 303 area code is telling you they have amazing fresh fish and you fall for it, that's on you

A scam text that reads "I've got smoked salmon bagels, come share with me! 😋"

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Was talking about potatoes with someone and found out that a type of potatoes I've been eating all my life is apparently an obscure regional upstate NY dish lmao

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Team Called Palace @teamcalledpalace.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Champions of Europe, we know what we are! 🏆 GET IN THERE! ❤️💙 #UECL #CPFC

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

hockey's stupid anyway EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGLESSSS ❤️💙❤️💙

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

I am officially banned from participating in Major League Baseball because I got a shot of steroids today Not that I would have been accepted in anyway, but I'm definitely on the list now

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

I've watched 17 years worth of Lindy Ruff-coached power plays; the Avs can't even make a dent in my psyche

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Nintendo of America [Twitter/X Parody] @nintendooamerica.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Ready to dunk it, Penn & Teller style? The cult classic Nintendo DS game Penn & Teller's Shithead Basketball makes it's way to the Nintendo Switch 2, with an all new HD remaster, bringing with it new play controls with the Joy-Con 2's Mouse Mode and new recorded lines from the magicians themselves.

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Did that "How many US Cities can you name" thing, got to 226 and 25% of the US Population and then stopped so I didn't waste my entire night lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

I'm not very familiar with Fortnite but I can't imagine that in the actual game they propel themselves with colored fart jets

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

At what point do you just throw Jared Bednar into a volcano lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

I normally complain about ESPN's NHL coverage but it is nice that they have PK Subban around to be loudly and emphatically wrong about everything so I could confirm that the no-goal call was absolutely correct

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

Inconceivable that a team whose entire strategy all year was "our back-up G is playing out of his mind and we're outscoring our way past one of the worst Power Plays in the league... so let's stay the course unquestioned!!!" is doing this when the lights get brightest! #GoAvsGo #NoAvsNo

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

Avs fans complaining about calls as though they WANT this team to get another Power Play lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

Nicest thing ESPN could think to say about Patrick Roy after a beat of awkward silence was "he knew how to play" JFC #GoAvsGo

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