iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

That political test everyone is sharing leaves much to be desired, but I am pretty happy after taking it having been paired with Liebknecht, Einstein, and Engels, while the three furthest figures from me were fucking Charlemagne, Franz Ferdinand, and Edmund Burke lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Abu Farchi's miss on a wide-open net in the 93rd minute to lose the Rapids a 2030 playoff game (Earned from the 10 seed because MLS will have, I'm sure, expanded the playoffs to that point by then), an interim and two fully fired coaches from now, is gonna hit like crack

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Imagine signing a fucking Israeli AT ALL to your team in TYOOL 2026, when you're already a team that everyone has been mad at for a full decade for poor leadership decisions, scouting, and coaching, and picking this fuckin' guy just to make it all look worse lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

At least the teams that had Cristiano Ronaldo in the 2010s and early 20s knew that they, while a piece of shit, were getting one of the best players in the world. It takes the aptitude of the Colorado Rapids to sign a player who is both a garbage can of a man at the sport AND an all-time shithead!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Like damn Dad, I didn't realize you bought your fuckin' Network Systems textbooks from British Loyalists!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Sometimes I help my dad transcribe questions for the Network Engineering class he teaches. It's 99% dry and technical, but today in the Cybersecurity chapter I got absolutely blindside-punched in the dick by the question "What is the purpose of Sinn Féin?" with the answer "To spread propaganda" lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

She didn't even tell me where she "saw him speak", so I'm just assuming he was standing on a cardboard box near Coors Field wearing a "REPENT OR DIE SINNERS" sandwich board

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

My Aunt told me that she saw Tim Tebow speak the other day and I'm not sure exactly what emotion she was trying to elicit by telling me that, but the look I gave her was apparently not the correct one

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

True, but this is a game where they put you in a flashback where the MAIN guy who needs to be shot says "Hey, you should probably shoot me", and then you don't, and then the game ends with you, once again, not shooting the guy, who then gets away with no actual resolution

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Trip Report: CoD: MWIII makes Skyrim look like a Hemmingway novel, the dialogue/plot is so fucking bad. Also why, in the game where the solution to everything in gameplay mode is shooting people, do the fuckers in the cutscenes never fucking shoot the people who, if shot, would solve the entire plot

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I have Xbox Game Pass on PC because I've been in "I can barely exist anymore" mode for the last two years, and cause I hate myself I decided to try out a Call of Duty game What the fuck do you mean that "CoD: Modern Warfare 3" and "CoD: Modern Warfare III" are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FUCKING GAMES

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I love playing hockey sim games cause what do you mean Ovechkin, Kane, and Malkin are playing together on the Jets' second line in 2028

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Trapped in the Safeway entrance because during the 5 minutes I was in there, a torrential downpour started lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

This is also how I'd style my hair if I was told I was gonna be the cover athlete for a pro bowling game

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Reposted by uzworm

New York Eagles @nyeagles.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Felicidades to our World Cup Winner, Yeremy Pino!! #cpfc

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Why not just bring in a guy with a 22 MPH Eephus if we're going experimental

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

3 more runs and two homers, including an inside-the-parker later, and I'm thinking of downloading chess on my phone myself

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

The moment the Rox switched to the bullpen, the guy in front of me started playing chess on his phone as I turned to my mom and said "I don't know this pitcher but I'll bet he's dogshit" And then he gave up a 2-run HR one pitch later 🤭

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Death, taxes, and the Rockies bullpen being a parade of the biggest dickheads sport has to offer lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Rockies tonight are starting a guy whose change-up is only 4 MPH slower than his fastball 😐

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Asked my aunt for sunscreen and she handed me what looked like a giant tube of chapstick; a stick of sunscreen is a method I'd never seen before and I gotta say, it's both far less effective AND much harder to put on than any other method!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

If Tuchel is afraid of the backlash he's going to get back in England, I know a country that loves to take in exiled Germans with US assistance

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

On the bright side several of my family who are out here are from states where weed isn't legal so they decided to try out Colorado's dankest edibles. They bought several bags and gave me all the leftovers Might fuck around, take 8 at a time and see what happens

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Sitting in a restaurant with extended family and my brother says "the White bloodline is fleeting", in reference to him and I not having kids, quite loudly He did not immediately understand why I shot him a look

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

People have often told me that I'm an overly loud person (I am), but much of my extended family are in town and I'm reminded that I might as well be a chronic mumbler compared to some of my aunts and cousins

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

How are you offside as the slowest man on Earth

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Autism came away with the moral victory

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

My aunt just asked me what match I was watching the highlights from. I then looked at the TV, saw "ALG-AUT," and what confidently came out of my mouth was "Algeria vs. Autism" 😐

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

Canada should be ashamed of themselves for taking that long to score against a team that collectively had the first touch and passing ability of a rhinoceros wearing Uggs

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Watching YouTube on my parents' Roku is an interesting experience because there's no Ad Block so I get to see the sorts of ads my mother is getting, which mostly appear to be about "the mistakes women over 50 make with their bras"

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Reposted by uzworm

Sanho Tree @sanho.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Technically, they’re Remains now.

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

If the Grizzlies wanted to add Coward and Boozer to their lineup, they could have just drafted me. Would've been cheaper!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Bruno and Ronaldo are in stiff competition for the Fallon d'Floor award

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Every four years I'm reminded that I'm incapable of seeing the word "Uruguay" without saying "U R MR GAY" out loud

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

The world cup is great cause you get to see incredible feats of athleticism and then occasionally an Egyptian player taking the worst shot in the history of the sport

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Goaltending was awful for the first few games of the SCF but one team wasn't able to change their G because they'd dug themselves too deep in a hole spending months trying to justify his ass being there even as he stunk up the joint, and the team that DID change immediately won? lol and/or lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

Anyway I'm rooting for Ecuador

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

It's really funny that the entire world is pissed at the World Cup being in the US and the only people online defending it have usernames like "USMNTOtaku"

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Ultima @ultimashadow.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

THEY WILL BE REUNITED

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

It's fun with a lot of good jokes and some fun absurdist stuff going on, but the plot feels like it was made by people locked in separate rooms doing mad libs, and I feel like a good mystery to find the impostors should be the FIRST priority of an Among Us show and not clearly an afterthought!

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

I can kinda see why Paramount+ dropped the Among Us animated series with no fanfare on a random Friday afternoon cause it isn't very good 😬

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

If you're wondering how my year is going, the bar I'm at just gave my debit card to the wrong guy cause he used the same bank lmao

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Like get outta here claiming The Lumineers or The Decemberists were hipster; who the fuck are "Sleigh Bells"? You made that shit up

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

I spent 2008-2013 listening to nothing contemporary except for Gaga/Katy Perry/Ke$ha style trash pop; if I have heard of any other band from that period they were mainstream

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Twitter's currently having a moment arguing over what counts as "Hipster music" from the late 00s and early 10s, and the answer remains very simple: If it's a band I've heard of from the era, it's not hipster music

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uzworm @uzworm.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

I plan on spending game 2 watching sea turtle barnacle removal videos

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