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Chris He/Him

@umbransharmoot.bsky.social
434 followers 369 following 830 posts

Inshallah you will wake up in the depths of nightmares so vile Insta: Chrisbetterhavemymoney 18+

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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11h
Nothing in this story has aged well! It's a book from the 60's!! We know in 2026 boys are the real bullies!! Although he was correct about how adults speak to teenagers though
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11h
I'm somewhat uncertain about the new Carrie, I LOVE Mike Flanagan and the novel and movie were my fave as a kid but I will shout this from the rooftops: THIS IS NOT A MODERN STORY! Girls don't dump pigs blood on each other! There's many references to black face in the original novel! King is 800!!!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
God I wish I was that thong
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Hi I'm Chris
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It's actually insane how sexy bisexual men are
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Eugh I thought I was watching normal Traitors at the gym but it cut to commercial and I found out it is Traitors c*nada 😭😭😭 I was invested but I guess now it’s garbage smh
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
When someone puts a period at the end of their text I just wanna ask if they're mad at me
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Now he wanna lick my bomboclaat my ratatatataaaaa
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
LinkedIn open in one tab and Sniffies open in the other
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
He’s so real
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Did I think I'd be on tumblr in my thirties? No. But I also thought I'd find a plumbing job after I graduated college. I also thought I'd have a man in my late twenties actually. I also thought I wouldn't live in c*nada the rest of my life. I also thought we'd get Bayonetta 4
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I will however continue blocking people for literally anything. Even a slight disagreeance I just block I do love doing that
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I come from the haus of tumblr so I like to call strangers ugly for no reason but in recent times I've unfortunately had to remind myself I'm 32 and I can't be arguing with people on the internet for no reason anymore
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Kiss me IMMEDIATELY
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I love doing this but my faves change every time
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I do see now that this shot kinda sucks but either way happy #humpday
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
LUX BOOTY SHORTS LUX BOOTY SHORTS LUX BOOTY SHORTS
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Had a nice swim after work
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Berghain by Rosalia got Bjork out of retirement briefly, that's kinda fun!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I always say I love u. Shut up!!!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
There must have been a more interesting action horror movie to make???? There must have been
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLASE PLASEPEASPLEAPLASESE
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
The way The Legend of Zelda has always been in my life, despite maybe playing three games and never finishing them. This remake looks amazing. Completely unrelated, I have a massive boner and am going to masturbate real hard now
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
One very unfortunate event I keep experiencing is that I'll find a super hot gogo dancer or Only Fans dude on social media, think he's super hot and want to follow, only to see him do many posts with Elias Cohen
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
THAT'S MY BESTIE
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
If Trixie Mattel is charging 100k for a show imagine how much someone whos actually talented and interesting must cost omfg…
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I just found out Calgary pride hired Trixie Mattel for 100K. I hate this country
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Reposted by Chris He/Him
Ryan 🦚 @ryanthemeek.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Hi hi hello hello how are you I'm Chris hi hhello hellaur I'm single and desperate hi
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I've played Coming Out On Top twice and both times I got the single ending where nothing changes in your life
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Hi I'm Chris
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
You're so fucking hot
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
ijougytfrcexdfgvybhjnmk WHY IS YOUR NAME TUMORGUY L[OPIUYTRDCFYVGHBJNKM
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Loving this randomizer I've been playing
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I understand why the white lady in Archer had a gangbang with the yakuza. Have you seen those sexy tattoos omfggggg
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Rosalia made La Perla because she went to bubble tea with her friends and got tapioca pearls in her drink and she was like "Omg this is so good" then we got Lux
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Thx u miss Carlita Reye Jepsen for taking a page outta the Cowboy Carter and Lux books. thx u white queen
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Sharmootavevo ---> umbransharmoot
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I imagine being canadian is this horrific scientific experiment to see how much one can tolerate nonsense and stupidity
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I don't understand any joke anyone tells me anymore. If I've laughed at something you've said the past two years it was me not being completely aware that you are communicating in a manner that I should understand. I don't get anything
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I would eat it. Send post
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Why did it have to be Hayden Panettiere. Why couldn't it have been Gal Gadot instead
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
This was very strange and the photos kinda blurred after a while I hope I didn't help AI LOL
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Okay I'm caving, where is the link for this?!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
MAGIC TCG AND STARDEW?!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
HEY GIRL hope u enjoyed ur food!!!!! I am inconsistent on here I'm either super online or I don't check here for forty eight years
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Waaaaait your face in the drag selfie?
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Girl I need this by yesterday!!!!
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Chris He/Him @umbransharmoot.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Every waking moment is agony. Thank god we have jacking off
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Reposted by Chris He/Him
Gab @goblingab.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Goon Monday morning warriors
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