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Melon Baller

@toomuchmelon.bsky.social
1.3K followers 285 following 712 posts

People say I’m Joe Biden’s alt, but that’s malarkey My Posts — bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ywcekwzo3v…

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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
PHIL COLLINS: there’s this girl that’s been on my mind FRIEND: what’s her name? PHIL: sue FRIEND: sue what? PHIL: sue susudio
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Toothybj @toothybj.bsky.social · 12/04/2024
Dog date
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
There is no bottom.
Congressman Randy Fine tweet
...
The Thump Thump Act will allow
Americans to run over these Muslim
Terrorists.
They don't try this in Florida because of the bill I helped pass in the Legislature to allow them to be run over. It's time to take it national.
Thump thump.

Co Liberacratt tweet (rt by Fine)
…
Muslims in Brooklyn blocked a highway, exited their vehicles and began chanting, "globalize the intifada."
This is who the left supports and let into the country for 4 years under Joe Biden, people who hate
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Jackson O'Lantern-Brien @sprobeforebros.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
some frankly amazing AI slop that someone decided to try and post on the r/dataisbeautiful subreddit
an AI slop map of the united states that seems to be trying to indicate what the most popular food is in every state. it contains such gems as Alaska's favorite food being a reddish slab labeled "ALASKA", Oregon's favorite food being what looks like a steak sitting on top of a cereal bowl labeled "APPLE", California's being simultaneously a goblet full of red liquid labeled "SHRIMP COCKTAIL" and a beige slab labeled "TATO", Wyoming's being a crudely drawn bison labeled "WYMONG" and an oblong apple on Alabama labeled "CRANFISH". There is also a square to the right of Florida that just says "SALMON" for no reason. the same image in context of a reddit post from the subreddit "r/dataisbeautiful" saying it's "the most popular food of each state from voting [OC]"
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Slash the military budget, raise taxes, and budget is balanced with room for universal healthcare. This isn’t actually hard
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
A rare photo of the Senate parliamentarian
Dumont from TRON - an old man in a sphinx like cyber outfit
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
Comic panel with Kevin spacey Andrew cuomo bill clinton and Harvey Weinstein in “SP” superhero costumes
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
Barbara Walters asking a 22yo intern where a girl gets the nerve to flirt with the president of the United States belongs in a sex pest museum of some kind
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
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OJ @solidarityowen.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
99% of “woke media” discourse is BS, but kudos to the NYT for sustaining the 1%
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
Very serious people as usual
Post from Rebekah Koffler on X showing champagne bottle and saying “Well @POTUS is apparently
encroaching on my airtime! My hit is moved to 8:20 - 8:30 pm depending on how long #Trump takes. I'm honored. Refilling my #champagne glass while waiting for my hit!”
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-𝚖𝚘𝚡 ☃︎ ❄︎ @moxiest.art · 11/06/2025
leftists: that thing you teach us in school to be terrified of is happening historians: that thing is definitely happening star wars: here is a beat-for-beat breakdown of how the thing happens, but with pew pew lasers. we know you watched it news outlets: these protesters are out of control
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
Sam Altman is literally describing the dawn of Skynet and Terminators
Excerpt from recent Sam Altman blog post: “From here on, the tools we have already built will help us find further scientific insights and aid us in creating better Al systems. Of course this isn't the same thing as an Al system completely autonomously updating its own code, but nevertheless this is a larval version of recursive self-improvement.

There are other self-reinforcing loops at play. The economic value creation has started a flywheel of compounding infrastructure buildout to run these increasingly-powerful Al systems. And robots that can build other robots (and in some sense, datacenters that can build other datacenters) aren't that far off.”
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
Middle-aged joggers all look like they’re about to cry
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
Padme Anakin meme.  Anakin says I built a perfectly nonstick frying pan.  Padme says with nonstick rivets right?  Anakin is silent.  Padme says with nonstick rivets right
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Missing The Point @missingthept.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
If President Trump has trouble getting people to tell him they went to Harvard he really does have problems.
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
RIP, Peter David
Panel of Hulk saying, I’m home
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
it was black noise until cultural appropriation
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
There are many signs of fascism these days but independent federal judges worrying they won’t be protected from violent threats almost tops the charts (pardoning insurrectionists and willfully disregarding due process still occupy the top two slots)
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
Padme Anakin meme.  Anakin says I built a perfectly nonstick frying pan.  Padme says with nonstick rivets right?  Anakin is silent.  Padme says with nonstick rivets right
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
Thanks Bill Belichick
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 19/05/2025
“I can write a column about this”
NY Times headline:
THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
My First Thought When I Heard Joe
Bidens News
2 MIN READ
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
Helena Tronham Carter
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
The Vince McMahon laser eyes meme, with a succession of Marx/Engels quotes next to Marx’s face culminating with trump’s walmart tweet next to Marx’s face with laser eyes: ”Walmart should STOP trying to blame Tariffs as the reason for raising prices throughout the chain. Walmart made BILLIONS OF DOLLARS last year, far more than expected. Between Walmart and China they should, as is said, "EAT THE TARIFFS," and not charge valued customers ANYTHING. I'll be watching, and so will your customers!!!”
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onion person @junlper.beer · 17/05/2025
average comment section in 2025
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
I actually don’t mind getting MAGA on the record that it’s critical to be transparent when a president becomes senile
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Dave Weigel @daveweigel.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
Just catching up on the news
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
Middle-aged joggers all look like they’re about to cry
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
To me the saddest thing about the world is people who are loud and mean are more likely to get what they want than people who are patient and kind
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Jack Smith! Where are you, what do you think about all of this
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Congratulations to Pope Tiramisu Strombolocannoli
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Jack Smith! Where are you, what do you think about all of this
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Sorry for this
Chestburster with chestburster bursting from the chestburster’s chest
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RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
idk i just think movies would be so much better with a chestburster scene: thread
Edward experiencing a chestburster in Twilight while Bella looks on.
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Friendly reminder that the entire US military is run by a dumb paranoid racist alcoholic tv host who has no deputies to help oversee 3 million soldiers and staff
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Sadly relevant again
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@freebydefault.bsky.social @freebydefault.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
I wondered about this very thing myself!
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
I didn’t predict these funeral guests
Pope Francis as a force ghost alongside obi wan and yoda
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
It was Agatha all along
Melania Trump at popes funeral wearing black veil and lace gloves and looking generally witchy
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Always amazed that the two creepiest most off-putting dudes alive get rolled out regularly to represent a presidential administration
Stephen MillerSebastian Gorka
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
I didn’t predict these funeral guests
Pope Francis as a force ghost alongside obi wan and yoda
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Fondly remembering when “you forgot Poland!” was the dumbest thing a president said
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Deporting a 2yo sounds bad at first but have you seen this
Trump holding a photo of a baby’s fist with MS13 letters on its fingers (parody, for clarity)
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Deporting a 2yo sounds bad at first but have you seen this
Trump holding a photo of a baby’s fist with MS13 letters on its fingers (parody, for clarity)
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
FOR SALE: baby shoes, never worn UPDATE: they were too small! sorry to cause alarm 😂
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
FOR SALE: baby shoes, never worn UPDATE: they were too small! sorry to cause alarm 😂
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Arrested development, George both saying I’ve got the worst BLEEP attorneys
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Fondly remembering when “you forgot Poland!” was the dumbest thing a president said
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Melon Baller @toomuchmelon.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
There is more evidence that JD Vance murdered the pope than Abrego Garcia engaged in human trafficking
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