iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Two Waiting At Eldridge shows left at the Edinburgh Fringe! Tomorrow and Tuesday. (I have Mondays off. Don't come on Monday. Or rather, do, but don't expect to see me!)

A poster for Waiting At Eldridge, a story with poems by Tom Juniper.

A painting of a steam train, and a silhouetted figure with a peaked cap and slightly spectral antlers.

Rest of text reads:
What is waiting for you in the waiting room?
"A brilliant poet." - Ian McMillan, BBC's The Verb.
Departs 7pm, The Banshee Labyrinth Banqueting Hall
8th-18th August (Mondays excluded)
Winner of the Step Up Commission 2024
Free Entry
Donations Welcome
18+ Venue

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Not my photo, but I saw this ad on a bus earlier today, and was VERY confused, until I realised that the word *I* was thinking of was "packers".

A bus with an ad for vitamin supplements. Main text reads NO FILLERS! NO BINDERS! 100% ACTIVE INGREDIENTS!

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Me: "OMG not everything has to be anthropomorphic. It's a car, not your kid🙄" Also me; "I can't throw her out! I forgot about her! And she was all by herself in the back of the cupboard! And she grew LEAVES 😭😭😭 You're gonna be OK, sweet potato child of mine!"

A sweet potato that has sprouted in the cupboard.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

"Well now. There's a name I ain't heard in a while..."

A grey metal box attached to a wall, for people to put their cigarette ends in. It has two square holes near the top, and a picture of a smoking cigarette near the bottom, so that it looks like a jaded (square, grey) guy smoking a cigarette.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

There's never been a better time to share this stunning artistic collaboration between myself and @robertgalbraith.bsky.social

a life size black and white photo of Keir Starmer's grinning face (taken from a poster sent out as part of his Labour leadership campaign), which has been cut out and is being worn (by me) as a mask. The eyes have been replaced by the eyes of Bob from Twin Peaks (in full colour).
Mixed Media, Juniper & McKenna, 2020.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Bit late, I know, but... I made this image as a joke a couple of years ago, since the official St G's flag has been appropriated as a racist dog whistle. Someone just suggested that they'd like to hang this one from lampposts. I don't have flag money, but if anyone else does, go ahead.

A flagpole, with an alternative St George's day flag depicting George from Rainbow with the Soup Dragon from The Clangers.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

Have a break. Have 12 Tonnes of KitKat. Remember, kids, Nestle is literally the company who literally told African mothers that their breast milk wasn't good enough in order to sell more formula. Don't be a snitch, now.

An official statement from Nestle appealing for information as to who has nicked 12 tonnes of KitKats.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

I mean JUST LOOK at the cake @vive-la-niamh.bsky.social made me for my birthday. If you don't already, follow my amazing girlfriend on here and look at/read about her ongoing cooking adventures. And then be consumed with envy because *I* quite often get to EAT these sublime creations!

A ridiculous, cuboid, triple layer chocolate cake, coated in chocolate ganache and topped with fresh raspberries and mint leaves, on a wooden chopping block. A hefty portion has already been removed, revealing layers of cake, raspberry compote, and lemon Swiss meringue buttercream.
I mean sweet Jesus.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

Sainsburys managers: "What should we put on offer for our Chinese New Year Promotion?" "Er, Korean condiments?" "Yep, that's perfect!"

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

@vicmmic.bsky.social Here is a baby coot. I swear to God it's supposed to look like that.

A baby coot (cooling?) swimming in a pond. It has black, floofy down on its body, with some yellow wispy bits near the head. The head, eye and beak area are mostly bald and red. It looks like it's been in a horrible accident - but they genuinely are just like that.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

Every year, I forget about this heartwarming Christmas fable, which I wrote many years ago. And, every year, @germoorkensbyrne.bsky.social reminds me. Cheers, Ger!

Shivering with cold, the little match girl struck her final match, sheltering the quavering flame in her chilblained little hands. She saw a grand and luxurious house. In the window, a magnificent Christmas tree shone with baubles and coloured lights.
Rosy, laughing, and well-fed children danced about it.
Nearby stood a table piled high with festive fare.
The poor little waif gazed longingly on the scene, before dropping her match, setting the whole place ablaze.

As the mansion burned to the ground, the little match girl smiled.
She was warm now.
Tom Juniper

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 30/11/2025

My pronouns are he/him - as in masculine, and they!/them! - as in terrifying giant ants clawing out of the earth from mile-deep catacombs.

Poster for the 1954 horror film Them!
Image shows an illustration of 2 giant ants attacking a group of panicking humans.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

Aaaaaaaaahhh! But you forgot the visual effects! (Thanks for the polycule-friendly costume inspiration, @dropoutpresents.bsky.social 🫶🏻)

Three people standing in a doorway in shirts, ties, shorts and fishnets, and apparently sharing one pinstriped blazer. The two "outer:" hands brandish flyswatters.
Cartoon devil horns have been added to the image.
This is intended as a "Cerberus Says" Halloween costume. (cf: Gamechanger episode: Samalamadingdong)

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 19/10/2025

The stock "cubes" my girlfriend got at the new Korean food shop turn out not to be cubes at all. I don't really get many trick or treaters where I live, but if I did... "Hey kids, help yourselves to Fish Polos*!" *Lifesavers if you're American.

A green packet of Korean anchovy and sardine bouillon tablets. The illustration shows that the "tablets" strongly resemble the sweets known in the UK as Polos and in the USA as Lifesavers.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 24/09/2025

This bloomed in my garden today and I thought of Caihua x

A small sunflower with dark red petals which brighten to yellow at the tips. There are drops of rain shining on the centre of the flower.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

The best thing about having a comedian like @frizfrizzle.bsky.social for a partner is the prime seats you get when you go to their gigs.

Side view of a comedian with blue hair, and a Van Gogh "starry night" inspired shirt sitting on stage behind a piano keyboard. In the foreground an orange pull up banner obscures the view, apparently vertically bisecting said comedian.

Another side view of the same comedian on stage behind a piano keyboard (which, this time, is jauntily perched on an ironing board). This time, my view of their head is obscured by a speaker on a stand, creating the illusion of someone with a massive black cuboid head playing the piano.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 13/08/2025

Are you at the #Edinburghfringe? Do you enjoy poetry, storytelling and general spoken word shenanigans? Come on down to the Banshee Labyrinth Banqueting Hall on Niddry St at 7pm tonight- or indeed any night except Monday until the 24th. Part of the PBH Free Fringe. freefringe.org.uk/shows/screec...

A poster featuring a painting of the Banshee Labyrinth on Niddry Street, with various subterranean horrors depicted. Text reads Screech Night Spoken Word Showcase: Invi Brenna and Tom Juniper present a fine selection of poets and storytellers from all around the Fringe and beyond.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 12/08/2025

Got an update on my friend's dog's life of crime.

Turnip almost committed the perfect crime.
He ate an entire box of 12 eggs including the box. Only very tiny bits of eggshell and scraps of cardboard gave it away.
Honestly if he'd been slightly more thorough I never would have noticed.

A distinctly shifty, German Shepherd cross, senior dog.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 05/07/2025

It turns out that we immediately end up in the same lift as this couple. I THINK *she* had clocked us clocking them clocking us, so to speak. So she does the awkward "I'll say something nice so the gays know we mean them no harm" thing (IYKYK). She compliments my shirt. And tells me about her cat.

A selfie of a white, dark haired, bespectacled queer on a sofa. I'm wearing an off-white, short sleeved, button down shirt with a pattern of black cats. This shirt inspires SO MANY people to tell me about their own black cats, that I’m tempted to set up a scheme where they can, for a small fee, have me name one of my shirt cats after their real cat.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

Here are the portraits from various series of the "The Taskmaster": Greg Davies, for reference.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

More updates and stray observations as they happen, but for now, let me leave you with the knowledge that the hospital department where they do amputations has a sculpture of a fucking severed hand outside.

A concrete outdoor area with a blue metal/glass building housing a stairwell in the background.
In the foreground is a large metal sculpture. About the size of a mini-skip? It is a severed hand. It has a pleasing, art deco style leaf pattern on it, but it's still a severed hand.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

Hung out with some cool birds in Hillsborough park today. Cc @vicmmic.bsky.social who apparently likes this sort of thing.

A coot: black waterfowl about the size of a decent honeydew melon, with a white beak and... white forehead, I guess?.
Sitting on sunny concrete and displaying one unexpectedly large foot.

A muscovy duck. Where do I start with this guy? White body with black patches. Yellow feet.
Red, featherless, upsetting face.
Eyes of a killer.

Concrete edge of pond. Pond water. The black and white head of a canada goose peers over.

A baby coot
Hoo boy
This guy is the size of a plum. Black fuzzy body, and for no good reason, a head that gives "severe burns victim." BALD. RED. UNSETTLING.
He's cute, though.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

2 and 3: Mary Warton died aged 65, in 1797. Apparently leaving behind many enemies. It would seem she inspired Thomas Ruston who died in 1848. Rest In Power, you pair of salty legends!

Another grave. Poem:
Fare well vain world, I have had enough of the(e)
And now am careless what thou sayest of me
The fault thou hast seen in me, take care to shun
And look at home, enough theirs to be done.

Farewell, vain world I've had enough of thee
And now am careless what thou say'st of me
Thy smiles I court not, nor thy frowns I fear
I must lie here until Christ appear
And at his coming I hope to have
A joyful rising from the grave.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

1. Mary Cook, who died aged 37 in 1863. There is something rather sweet about a grave which displays a personal message to a loved one. On the other hand, presumably Mary's husband is the one who commissioned the poem. And if so, that makes it weird.

An old green and grey gravestone.

Poem reads
Weep Not my dear husband, but be content
For unto you I was but lent
In love we lived, in peace I died
You asked my life but were denied.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 01/05/2025

Coming soon to a school, office, or shopping centre near you.

4 doors and a bucket.
Door 1: XX Chromosomes only
(butches, trans men, intersex people, and enbies need not apply)

Door 2: XY Chromosomes only
(butches, trans men, intersex people, and enbies need not apply)

Door 3: ACCESSIBLE TOILET
(Please present a written affidavit from the DWP confirming the legitimacy of your disability to reception if you want the key.)

Bucket: Gender Ambiguity Courtesy Bucket

Door 4: Genital inspection booth

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I discovered that London starlings are BRAZEN little sods, so I filmed my hand holding a bit of a croissant by the Thames this morning, waited a few minutes, and screenshotted the best frame. So, technically, the bird is a paid actor. Took a few goes to get the shot, so he had a FEAST.

Action shot of a starling in the act of snatching a bit of croissant as big as its head from my fingers. Sand, pebbles and calm, blue-grey river in background.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 28/04/2025

I don't know who great tits think they are kidding: that cleavage is obviously drawn on.

A great tit: small bird with black and white head and a yellow breast with a black line down the centre.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 19/04/2025

I feel very inspired and strengthened by the Sheffield trans community and our allies today. Well done, team. Trans Joy Will Prevail.

Some of the heroic and hastily assembled "TERF-blocker" squad, arrayed on and behind the stone "fence" outside the Sheffield town hall. They are using flags, signs, and their bodies to prevent a TERF attempt at disruption, and to screen our eyes from a tiny gang of Adult Human Fails, who came to cause trouble and eventually slunk away in ignominy. There is a tiny bit of a flag in Suffragette colours, which TERFs like so much to misappropriate in the name of hatred, poking out from behind Trans, Nonbinary and Palestine flags.
Not pictured: the boiling piss of those waving it in vain.

The area in front of Sheffield Town Hall, filled with joyous, angry, peaceful trans people and their allies. Many trans pride flags flutter in the wind.

A truly excellent protest banner. On a trans pride flag background, the words "inspecto pudendum". My congratulations to the originator.

Comrade Pigeon, observing the crowd from the town hall stonework, says Trans Rights. Probably.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 19/04/2025

The people who campaigned and petitioned for this ruling aren't afraid of trans people, they just think we're weird and disgusting. It's not feminism, it's mean girl logic. It's not "Please don't hurt us", it's "Ew, gross."

A still from the film Mean Girls, with three teenagers (the titular Mean Girls) sitting in a school cafeteria, sneeringly addressing a less fashionable schoolmate. The caption reads "YOU CAN'T SHIT WITH US."

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/03/2025

So, your "doves to release at funeral services" company needs a catchy name: how about... All You Need Is Dove? The Power Of Dove? Eat Pray Dove? No, I've got it...

An honest to goodness pamphlet for a funeral doves company - displaying a pair of hands releasing a flying dove. It's called "Dove Actually".

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

I have really enjoyed myself at Leicester Comedy Festival - and special thanks to whoever emblazoned the back cover of their programme with this *even shitter* version of Live, Laugh, Love.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Imagine it's your first day at nursery school and this eldritch horror turns up.

Poster in nursery school window showing two small children brandishing a sunflower/goblin-like effigy. They are towered over by an ungodly corruption of Peppa Pig.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

PS @soozuk.bsky.social I meant to say hi properly & introduce you to @vive-la-niamh.bsky.social - cos the other day she quoted one of your posts at me & I got to look cool & go "oh yeah I know *Sooz*: she's doing friz's show next week." But at least we reunited you with Uncle Johannes (fka Thor)!

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

A fun day out w @vive-la-niamh.bsky.social to see @frizfrizzle.bsky.social doing their Leicester Comedy Festival shows. Did a cameo as Box Keeper for the silliness that is What's In The Box! Met lovely people! Ate a phenomenal pho @ Souper Joy. (Delightful business name AND God-tier food.) Splendid.

A tiny restaurant called the Souper Joy.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

Spending the last bit of Christmassy together time with my partners. We are in a hotel. There is a little face on our hotel windowsill. Him go oo! This has amused us beyond all reason. Enter the new year with the same sense of wonder as a little concrete blob on a fifth storey window ledge. oo!

Photograph showing an area of grey window ledge. A bit of road and grass verge can be seen far below.
An oval blob of concrete appears to have a face like a surprised alien.
Him go oo!

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

There is a mural in Hull Station celebrating Hull's links to the film industry. As a fun game, and because I have absolutely no idea, Who is depicted here? Also. Why is the phonebox red?!

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 14/03/2024

I've got a blue and black jacket. Took a close up of the pattern and guys. I think it's doing the The Dress thing on me. What colour is this?

Close up of shiny patterned fabric. It appears a greenish gold with white pattern.

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