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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️

@tomjuniper.bsky.social
615 followers 482 following 543 posts

Your weird, AuDHD, trans auncle. Sometimes poems and stories, sometimes unsolicited info dumping. I don't care if you talk about me as long as you do so using he/him or they/them pronouns.

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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
At my middle school. If a class had perfect attendance for a week, the head would give that class a big bag of sweets to share. BUT ONLY IF they wrote a sycophantic letter to the head, to be read out in assembly. It was all very tongue-in-cheek, but God knows what we were supposed to learn from it!
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Two Waiting At Eldridge shows left at the Edinburgh Fringe! Tomorrow and Tuesday. (I have Mondays off. Don't come on Monday. Or rather, do, but don't expect to see me!)
A poster for Waiting At Eldridge, a story with poems by Tom Juniper.

A painting of a steam train, and a silhouetted figure with a peaked cap and slightly spectral antlers.

Rest of text reads:
What is waiting for you in the waiting room?
"A brilliant poet." - Ian McMillan, BBC's The Verb.
Departs 7pm, The Banshee Labyrinth Banqueting Hall 
8th-18th August (Mondays excluded)
Winner of the  Step Up Commission 2024
Free Entry 
Donations Welcome 
18+ Venue
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Yeah, I won @theacms.bsky.social Best Song last year. What of it.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
In a move people are calling "Stupid", did my 4pm solo show 4 hours after major eye surgery. Full house, standing room only. Will likely be blind for a couple weeks, come see me as I can't see you.
Friz Frizzle blind, on stage wearing chic charity shop sunglasses. A buttload of people
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Gabby HC @scriblit.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
RW Netflix shouters and court jesters to bone saw killers: I'm actually incredibly brave. Maybe the bravest comedian there is Friz: oh hey, I've gone blind, could you whop a knife in my eye in time for my show this afternoon?
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What's in the Box? @whtsnthbx.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
WHAT'S IN THE BOX TUESDAY 11TH AUGUST Featuring... 📦 Katie Pritchard 📦 MARA Joy 📦 Adam Larter 12pm, Southsider, W Richmond St. Bring something! #edfringe
Friz Frizzle's What's in the Box lineup announcement.  Purple background, yellow text, three boxes with the faces of Katie Pritchard, Mara Joy and Adam Larter popping out of each very cheekily
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Well this is how my Fringe has been going...
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
The name's Bon. JON Bon. Jon Bon JOVI. JON BON JOVI FROM BON JOVI.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Last July I went to hospital with a blood infection and gangrene after staying at that exact YMCA. Had a finger amputated. Whilst in hospital, the YMCA evicted me as I was now too disabled to live there. Was made homeless for three months. They probably didn't tell you that bit.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
EMERGENCY! Friz currently in A&E, due to waking up blind. Fringe shows should be going ahead - unsure how, but Friz loves a challenge!
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
The Big Difference who run Leicester Comedy Festival have sank. Do not be mad at Leicester Comedy Festival's social media team: they have also been left unpaid. Even more so than the acts in most cases. I want to know where the money went, because it sure seems like it rhymes with schlembezzlement.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I'm rewatching Baz Luhrnan's Romeo and Juliet. It generally holds up. But friar laurence's opening monologue... Its supposed to be him musing to himself about botany, but here... Like, for no reason at all, he's topless, and talking to 2 altar boys. about drugs. Was Baz calling the friar a nonce?
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
You've cooked lentils in fat? Well, lardy dahl.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Another gpod birthday present would be for anyone who has the capacity to write a piece about What's in the Box? and how it's been a secret hideaway gem of the Fringe for the last nine years because I do not enjoy tooting my own trumpet.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
For my birthday I would like to give you the opportunity to be better than the DWP. Being disabled with zero income fucking sucks!
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I have come to respond to the sight of rain (or even promising-looking cloud cover) the way I used to respond to snowfall as a child.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Not my photo, but I saw this ad on a bus earlier today, and was VERY confused, until I realised that the word *I* was thinking of was "packers".
A bus with an ad for vitamin supplements. Main text reads NO FILLERS! NO BINDERS! 100% ACTIVE INGREDIENTS!
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Just got an NHS letter inviting me to take part in a prostate health survey. But don't worry, there was a trans inclusive footnote. It's "open to men, trans women, and non-binary people who were assigned male at birth." So... Open to trans men, then? You sure about that, hon?
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Me: "OMG not everything has to be anthropomorphic. It's a car, not your kid🙄" Also me; "I can't throw her out! I forgot about her! And she was all by herself in the back of the cupboard! And she grew LEAVES 😭😭😭 You're gonna be OK, sweet potato child of mine!"
A sweet potato that has sprouted in the cupboard.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Dreamt a workaround to the "Third Space" argument for venues to provide segregated toilets for trans people: Make the trans toilets way nicer than the cis toilets. Felt like a goddamn genius. Then I woke up and @frizfrizzle.bsky.social informed me that that's literally a plotline in South Park
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Charlotte the Procrastinator @catsbearsandme.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
#Poetry #BlueskyPoetry #WendyCope Differences of Opinion I: He Tells Her by Wendy Cope
He tells her that the earth is flat —
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong.
But he has learned to argue well.
He calls her arguments unsound
And often asks her not to yell.
She cannot win. He stands his ground.

The planet goes on being round.
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Rose Schmits @roseschmits.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
[politics understander just read the niemoller poem] oh hell yeah thats loads of people before they come for me that will buy loads of time , sick
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
If you thought that saying "Actually, it's not*a* panini? The singular form is paninO?" made you sound intellectual, then check me out unironically referring to a peperamo.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
a dream realised, an ambition achieved. My partners were doing a crossword the other day and needed to know what a citizen of Belgrade's called. I GOT TO USE THE CAPITALS OF EUROPE SONG TO FIND THE ANSWER! @johnfinnemore.bsky.social - thank you.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
"Well now. There's a name I ain't heard in a while..."
A grey metal box attached to a wall, for people to put their cigarette ends in. It has two square holes near the top, and a picture of a smoking cigarette near the bottom, so that it looks like a jaded (square, grey) guy smoking a cigarette.
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Gale Sinatra @galesinatra.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I think we just passed oops.
A timeline of climate change concern.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
What a glorious month to increase my mirtazipine dose.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Fox scrunching up its face superimposed on flames. Text: IT FUCKEN WARMDY.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Starmer's resignation speech
Mayor Quimby: "No, no. I truly do want to stay home
with the... (sighs) wife."
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
There's never been a better time to share this stunning artistic collaboration between myself and @robertgalbraith.bsky.social
a life size black and white photo of Keir Starmer's grinning face (taken from a poster sent out as part of his Labour leadership campaign), which has been cut out and is being worn (by me) as a mask. The eyes have been replaced by the eyes of Bob from Twin Peaks (in full colour). 
Mixed Media, Juniper & McKenna, 2020.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I guess 0.16 years is a plural
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
TMI post I just did a shit for the entirety of Starmer's resignation speech, while receiving live updates from my partners in the next room via messenger. One such message was "...He's got fucking inspirational backing music!" That he had, gentle reader. That he had. *Parp*
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Trying to find your partner at pride feels like a Lucy and Yak sponsored edition of Where's My Cow. Where's my partner? Is that my partner? They're wearing dungarees! The dungarees have sunflowers on them! That's not my partner!
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
[Teenage Hamlet experimenting in his youth]: Alas, poor bollock. I chew him. Fellatio?
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
I'm counting my chickens before they hatch and using a basket to keep a tally of them. This seems easy!
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Remember last week when I was told I had a new lens put in my eye? Nope! The nurse assigned to me after my Friday eye surgery just... guessed? The doctor I told during my appointment was bery confused and outraged. Hey! Discharge nurses! Please don't guess this shit!
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I was there for this call, and the PIP employee *actually* said "You can make a complaint, or whatever..." Which is the kind of gold star customer service that makes Britain great.
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Basically, partners have spent a lot of their own money helping me out during my blindness. I have also spent a lot on Ubers to hospitals and have missed out on gigs. DWP and PIP are still missing me about. If you wanna help cover these costs, it would be greatly appreciated.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Hooray!
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Natalya D @natalyad.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
It's such hateful bullshit. Just let people pee/change in peace. I'm so bad at gendering people too many years in queer spaces where no one cares about other people's gender or presentation. If appropriate & necessary, I ask what pronouns are best. Else I don't need to know, and continue my day.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
The EHRC Guidance on Single Sex Spaces makes public life more restrictive and risky for trans and gender non conforming people. But I think that's the whole point of it. So complaining to its architects that it's functioning exactly as intended probably just feels like a pat on the back to them.🧵
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
In sadder eye news, blindness will still continue for at least another few weeks. More surgery next week. I miss my sight, your posts, the news and Taskmaster. (Hev here, guess I'll be doing this for a while longer, tell Friz how good I was when they can see again 🤪)
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Last night I opened in Belper and headlined in Leek whilst being completely blind. Audiences were both wonderful and new material worked. Shout out to Employment Lawyer Helen and IT Consultant Tim who were great to riff with. Nice to know I can still gig if my blindness continues.
Friz in sunglasses and a red shirt depicting severed fingers, sat on a chair on a stage at Foxlowe Arts Centre, Leek, in front of a large crowd of pleased fans. Big red curtain behind them, this room is very red.Friz in sunglasses and a red shirt depicting severed fingers, sat on a chair with a microphone at Belper Rugby Club, in front of a large crowd of pleased fans. Friz is gesturing at the audience waiting for their willing participation.
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Saw a pro Palestine protest in Sheffield Stn just now and mentioned it in a message to my partners, as part of a general travel update. The AI-riddled Messenger app automatically suggested the following emojis 😢🐱. Guess we're now all either a) sad about support for Palestine, or b) a cat. Meow. 🇸🇩
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
DAY 13 OF BLINDNESS Vision still not improved since Friday. Also got letter from UC stating that I don't qualify for LCWRA. Next stage is tribunal. AGH. Still, it's all going in the Fringe show. Why be sad when you can make jokes instead? Doing two stand-up sets tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
URGENT! I have 2 gigs this Thursday and despite being blind have not been granted the powers of Stevie Wonder. Can anyone recommend a site to download audio from YouTube that isn't laden with malware. Thank you! I can't see!
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Tom Juniper🏳️‍⚧️ @tomjuniper.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
If you are, or anyone you know is a #Dropout fan adjacent to Glasgow tonight, and has the cash to spare, please do consider treating yourselves (or someone you know) tonight, and helping Friz out in their time of blurry need, into the bargain!
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Frizident Evil @frizfrizzle.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Hello, we have now put the DROPOUT LIVE @ SECC Armadillo on 31st May tickets to buy individually on the site. Link here: secure.ticketmaster.co.uk/rs/360062968... Do share and tag your Dropout obsessed mates who specifically live in Glasgow. #dropout #Dropoutlive
secure.ticketmaster.co.uk
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