iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

[job interview] BOSS: Why are we suddenly surrounded by chinos and polo shirts??! ME: Oh I see you found The Gap in my resume

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Reposted by Todd 'Papi' Carlos

Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 14/01/2024

In England, a haircut is called an 'ed shearin'

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

SPORTS NEWS: Angel Reese claims Jack Smith likes her too

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I know it's National Grandparents Day but, heck, I'm gonna give a shout out to all the regional and local grandparents as well!

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

COP: You were speeding back there ME *handing over $5000* COP: Uh... is this a bribe? ME: Let's just call it a "dividend" COP: The fine is only $80

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

[interview] BOSS: You don't seem to have any experience in our industry ME: I'd like to offer you a $5000 dividend

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

9/11 was a difficult day for many and I'm referring to the birth of @tommytoughstuff.bsky.social Happy Birthday, Tony!!

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Come on down to Ron's page baby, he'll make some Ron puns Come on down to Ron's place baby, he'll make puuuuuuns! Hot Ron in the city...

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

BREAKING: Trump announces North America to be renamed America America

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

When I was a kid, a food recall was when you thought fondly about grandma's rhubarb pie.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤠 　 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦　🇨🇦 👇 💰 🇨🇦 👇💰 　 🇨🇦　🇨🇦 　 🇨🇦　 🇨🇦 　 👢 👢 howdy, i'm the canadian tariff sheriff.... again

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I just went to see The Odyssey and, as a literature aficionado, I'm glad they mostly stayed true to Shakespeare's original text.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

More like found rotting in a Ditch McConnell amirite??! [Oops, had this one locked and loaded and pressed send accidentally]

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

We don't have a "4th of July" in Canada so see you Sunday.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Now that the world's soccer superpowers (Brazil, Canada) have secured their spot in the Round of 16, let's see what other schlubs get through.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

*kicks the can* *kicks up a fuss* *kicks the habit* *kicks some ass* *kicks up a stink* *kicks the bucket* *gets cut from the soccer team*

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

[team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach!! Coach: This is soccer.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

[School band tryouts] ME: They say I have perfect pitch TEACHER: Oh really? Show us what you got *I throw a baseball right into the tuba*

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

KID: Where's grandma? DAD: She's in a better place now KID: Canada?

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

[blind date] HER:What's your biggest goal in life? ME: Hm, that's a tough one but probably 8th grade…soccer. I headed one right in the net

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Mbappé is my favorite French soccer player/Hanson song.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

In Australia, the toilet paper unfurls behind the roll.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

[alien singles bar] ALIEN GUY: Hi ALIEN GIRL: My eyes are way over there

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

If you play Beethoven's 5th Symphony backwards you are playing it the wrong way.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

ME (as a police sketch artist): Is this him?...

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

DARYL HALL VOICE: 🎵 Oh-oh, here she comes, she's a man voter...🎶

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

My old Swedish car is starting to break down but I won't bore you with my Saab stories.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

I know it's World Goth Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the local and regional Emos.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

If you or a loved one has been convicted of seditious conspiracy, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

A young Garfield watches from under a porch as his mother is ripped to shreds by a stray pit bull. It was a Monday.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

ME: Let me get this straight...you're saying my knee-bungle-bingle is starting to tingle, which means my sacra-ma-bilic has gone full arthritic? Are you even a doctor? DR. SEUSS: Your question is good, and I do have an answer, but first let me finish, you also have cancer.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Cinco de Mayo is barely over and they're already playing Ocho de Junio music at the mall.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

RICKY MARTIN: 🎶 Livin' la Vida Loca...🎵 ME: In this economy?!

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

[shoe store] ME: Do you have alligator shoes? CLERK: Sorry, we consider that to be animal cruelty {outside} ALLIGATOR: So did you get them? ME: Uh...they didn't have your size

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

Earth: Goodnight Moon Moon: … Earth: I said ‘Goodnight Moon’ Moon: … Earth: Look, I don’t choose which days they celebrate Moon: whatever

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

ME: I'd like to buy an onion ring CLERK: Ok, here you go {later...} ME *on one knee*: Will you marry me? ONION: OMG this is so sudden!

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

ME: Did you know that koalas have fingerprints almost identical to humans? COP: We also have footage of you crawling through the window.

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

GIRLFRIEND: Did you sleep with my sister? INSOMNIAC: No

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