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Simon (funny scary name here)

@theordinaryone.bsky.social
154 followers 250 following 509 posts

Pro nerd. Aspiring pie-eating wokerati. Nothing special.

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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Frieren, 🏳️‍⚧️ Tiefling Princess @fes4ever.northsky.social · 03/10/2026
Picture of Miles O'Brien, played by Colm Meaney in Star Trek The Next Generation/Star Trek Deep Space 9, standing with his hands on his hips and smiling. There is text over the image in 4 parts. Part 1: "Stay alive. Stay fucking alive" Part 2: "It's shit now but it won't always be" Part 3: "Happiness comes in waves" Part 4: "You will find it and feel it again"
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 4h
In other news the playlist is wandering between jazz and dub and I may miss several more trains.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 4h
Missed me train. At Piccadilly that's not the end of the world
A middle aged man falling to look disappointed at having a pint at the Piccadilly Tap instead of getting his train home.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 11h
🎶 can't find the peeler 🎶 to the tune of Veruca Salt's Seether. Sunday lunch #earworm
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I am not enjoying what sounds like my neighbour's smoke alarm distress beeping. Needy twat.
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Mr. Blabalino 🇳🇴🇺🇸💙 @blabalino.com · 02/10/2026
Always happy to help with costume ideas for your #cats.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Holy shit Cronos died 🤘👿🤘
Cronos from Venom. A guy dressed in metal clobber, playing a bass and pulling a face.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
#shirtcheck
A close up of a black t-shirt that says PI7S for the band Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Hotels. "✔️ Carpeted" is not the win you think it is
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I hear it's International Podcast Day so I'll plug Ambridge on the Couch @onambridge.bsky.social. If you listen to #TheArchers and don't listen to this you're missing out. It's my favourite Archers podcast (the actual Archers a close second). Bastard funny it is.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
My local Evri drivers are ok. It's UPS and Fedex I fear. tl;dr got a text from Fedex
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Today is mostly calls. Lunch break - cut short due to calls - part consumed due to a call with the insurance. Now the hospital have called to say can I come in early for me scan. I'd like to call it a day already.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Don't expect me to be arsed watching something you couldn't be arsed to write.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Lancashire have avoided the wooden spoon. What a season of towering cricket glory it's been! #TheCricket.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Today I learned that Steve Shelley of Sonic Youth (and who I saw with Orcutt Shelley Miller in the Castle and Falcon this year) was in the Crucifucks. My tiny mind blown.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I got back from the park a while back, conkers have dropped. It was cold out.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
You want sky? We got sky.
A very red sky over Didsbury in Manchester.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I hear your mum can't wait to come back to Scarborough
Frontage of a Fish n Chips shop called Winking Willy's.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Flabba Holt Geezer Al Cisernos
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The second most iconic steps in Whitby
A twisty staircase in Hadley's fish and chip shop in Whitby. There's a really cute spaniel at the bottom.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Circles by Adam F. Surprisingly jaunty when whistled
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The script writers really did Carole Toboggan dirty. Brought her back as a Right Old Cow™ only to bump her off! Anna's "why oh why" walling was out of character too. Boo all round #TheArchers
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Pirate union rep: what would you like to see in terms of pirate rights? Pirate: more parity! Pirate union rep: [squawking] what would you like to see in terms of pirate rights?
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The word pirate has one i and an r.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Normal innocent dog
A sweet brown spaniel lying on a sofa with a tangle of paws in the air.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I am in the Albert Hall in Manchester. When not sold out, it's amazing. Sold out it's hell on earth.
A middle aged man who's had enough of people already tonight
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
He'd have opinions for sure.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
0️⃣ days since someone using Bobby Tables in tech training
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Alex Andreou @sturdyalex.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I would love to ask a prominent BBC journalist to give me an example of an illegitimate concern. Is seems to me that it has become a question not of fact, logic, or ethics but of volume. If a big enough proportion of a village was anxious about Bigfoot or Chemtrails, BBC would cover it in a way...
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I went to the same school as footballers David Dunn and Gareth Ainsworth. My crowning sports achievement was twatting a crow with a drive from the 3rd tee.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Women: "my eyes are up here" Me: "the floor is down there"
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
What is it with Ipswich Town and right wing darlings? First Farridge and now Genoc-Ed Sheeran? I thought it was quite chilled when I went there but we're seeing they bloody love the fash!
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
James Cook @jamesecook.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
PIDDINGTON BEAR A marmalade sandwich loving bear from Peru arrives in Piddington and is kicked to death by racists.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
My old job involved generating pdfs in huge quantities -10s or 100sn of thousands. The 10GB recycle bin empty was fairly frequent but still satisfying. I don't generate nearly as much data here so such a large recycle bin empty is extremely rare and that much more joyful. #nerd
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Piddington doesn't have an extradition treaty with the UK so if you want to buy some toot, steal a car, etc. fill your boots.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Blinkin eck the #Rovers only went and won. It doesn't matter how shit we are or how good Millwall are we usually manage to do em.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Now then #TheCricket
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Make a band edible Buns n Toasties Pie on Fire Post Baloney Pate Smith Cob Dylan
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Simon (only spookier) @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I'm not getting my dick out for Charlie Kirk.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I have been waiting for a non-urgent precautionary scan for a while now. I couldn't make the first scan as was on holiday. Today they offered me a second scan ... also when I'll be on holiday. Third attempt booked for when I'll actually be in the city.
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Anyone who has ever complained about London Underground, complain no more.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Got into bed then heard a neighbour doing bins. Fuck, it's bins tonight #bins
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I think I've reached the stage where I'd consider cutting out the anti-depressants. They saved my life but I'd like to live on without them. The withdrawal will be shit but my real fear is losing the flatting out of my emotions.
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Rich Neville @richneville.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
They’ve all forgotten their kit and are having to do fascism in their pants.
Some masked arseholes earlier
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
17 wickets and counting at (the real) Old Trafford today. If they played county cricket in summer it'd be a question for the pitch inspectors. As it is it's a question for the ECB. #TheCricket
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Gonna get the death star tattooed on my arse. When I drop my kecks I want people to say "that's no moon".
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Today I learned how to spell Akela. 50-something years reading and it's the first time I remember seeing this written down. No I wasn't a cub or scout or owt.
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Holy shitballs there's a gnew one from Gnod
youtu.be
GNOD – Old Gold
YouTube video by Rocket Recordings
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Simon (funny scary name here) @theordinaryone.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Boak boak boak #TheArchers
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Reposted by Simon (funny scary name here)
Darren Richardson (He/Him) @lostone1980.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.
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