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Mason

@themistermason.bsky.social
76 followers 57 following 342 posts

The philosopher Chryssipus died laughing after seeing a donkey eat figs. I say whatever I want No politics 🚫

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Reposted by Mason
The old internet @theoldinternet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
listening to unknown artist - track 01.mp3
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/09/2026
Glamour Of Lamborghini Negated By Indiana Plates
Glamour Of Lamborghini Negated By Indiana Plates
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/07/2026
‘Babe, You Shrunk!’ Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake theonion.com/babe-you-shrunk-says-p…
‘Babe, You Shrunk!’ Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake
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Fightful Wrestling @fightful.com · 27/06/2026
El Generico has to be so proud of Sami Zayn
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The old internet @theoldinternet.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
at one point or another, everyone ended up opening one of these to pass the time, even with so many great and fun games the 90s had to offer
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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Saw that maternal instinct docu on netflix and still not over the bit where a whole bunch of alleged professionals whose job is background checks spent weeks calling "Shelly from Shell Oil" and writing to a lawyer called Lawington, she should have also had them calling Butch the lesbian
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The old internet @theoldinternet.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
It's 4 am in 1998, and you turned on the tv...
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Timothy @makenomisteak.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
This is a real picture of the two most famous Knicks fans at the game tonight.
Ben Stiller and Danhausen
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/06/2026
Civil War Reenactor Reminded This Not His Personal Fife Recital theonion.com/civil-war-reenactor-re…
Civil War Reenactor Reminded This Not His Personal Fife Recital
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The old internet @theoldinternet.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
Pictures you can hear
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R. Souissi @rsouissivibes.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Rousey and Carano
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/05/2026
‘Make Daddy Die’ Whispered Into Build-A-Bear
‘Make Daddy Die’ Whispered Into Build-A-Bear
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Brent S. Sirota @brentsirota.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
my favorite comment on the Angine de Poitrine KEXP youtube.
"I can't even remember what type of music I was into before. Now it's just this."
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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/04/2026
Full-Time Mom Drunk On The Job
Full-Time Mom Drunk On The Job
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Tales From The Keane Compound @thekeanecompound.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
Tales From The Keane Compound #933
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/04/2026
“Yay, our plate has lobster, and the bib has lobster right on the front, and now we won’t mess up our shirt,” said 61-year-old York, ME, resident Brandon Mena
theonion.com
Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating
WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has a picture of the food they’re eating. “...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/03/2026
Hospital Decides Cancer-Sniffing Leopard More Trouble Than It’s Worth theonion.com/hospital-decides-cance…
Hospital Decides Cancer-Sniffing Leopard More Trouble Than It’s Worth
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/03/2026
Tiger Woods’ Liver Photographed Crawling Out Of Golfer After Crash theonion.com/tiger-woods-liver-phot…
Tiger Woods’ Liver Photographed Crawling Out Of Golfer After Crash
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/03/2026
“While I will soon appear once more upon the earthly realm, My sole focus during this Second Coming will be various woodworking projects and not the establishment of a messianic kingdom,” said Christ, the Light of the World
theonion.com
Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business
JERUSALEM—In an effort to soften the blow for a human race eagerly awaiting His glorious arrival, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, clarified Monday that His return would be strictly limited to His carpen...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/03/2026
Friends Trying On Each Other’s Glasses Revel In Glorious Mayhem Of Having Slightly Different Prescriptions theonion.com/friends-trying-on-each…
Friends Trying On Each Other’s Glasses Revel In Glorious Mayhem Of Having Slightly Different Prescriptions
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The Onion @theonion.com · 10/03/2026
“I never want to end up in a position where I’m one of the Ningyōzukai manipulating the arms and legs of this puppet that frankly hasn’t been relevant since the early 17th century,” said the Marty Supreme star
theonion.com
Timothée Chalamet Under Fire For Dismissive Comments About Traditional Japanese Puppet Theater Form ‘Bunraku’
LOS ANGELES—Facing fierce backlash for remarks deemed deeply ignorant by devoted fans, actor Timothée Chalamet came under fire Monday for dismissive comments about traditional Japanese bunraku puppetr...
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Kliph Nesteroff @classicshowbiz.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Kurt Vonnegut spotted passing through Riverdale.
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Mason @themistermason.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Arby's potato cakes. Greasy trash, but irresistible.
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Kliph Nesteroff @classicshowbiz.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
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George Wallace @mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
Please sign my petition to start an Autumn Olympics where all events empty into a pile of delightful leaves and whatnot.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 05/02/2026
Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet theonion.com/kylie-jenner-photograp…
Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet
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Kliph Nesteroff @classicshowbiz.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
One thing in life is for certain. Alligators love sandwich bags.
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Kliph Nesteroff @classicshowbiz.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/02/2026
Old Man Whistling While Slapping Knee Once Again Sweeps Grammys theonion.com/old-man-whistling-whil…
Old Man Whistling While Slapping Knee Once Again Sweeps Grammys
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Mason @themistermason.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
I listen to this classic Casey Kasem meltdown every couple of months in lieu of therapy. youtu.be/rV7WF5VVwuo?...
youtu.be
Casey Kasem's Profane Radio Meltdown • The Definitive Edition!
YouTube video by Hambonian Entertainment
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Catherine O’Hara SCTV thread youtu.be/990OaFr8EYw?...
youtu.be
SCTV - Lola's Love Spirit
YouTube video by The Second City
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/01/2026
Explanation Of Board Game Rules Peppered With Reassurances That It Will Be Fun theonion.com/explanation-of-board-g…
Explanation Of Board Game Rules Peppered With Reassurances That It Will Be Fun
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/01/2026
Cryptic New Laundry Room Rule Hints At Tale Of Bizarre Infraction theonion.com/cryptic-new-laundry-ro…
Cryptic New Laundry Room Rule Hints At Tale Of Bizarre Infraction
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The Onion @theonion.com · 06/01/2026
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good theonion.com/british-teen-returning…
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good
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Mason @themistermason.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
It's not Christmas without boiled live carp.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/12/2025
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-o…
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/12/2025
Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters theonion.com/aldi-ceo-chased-off-fr…
Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters
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Eddie Robson @eddierobson.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
Lovely new video for Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth) by George Harrison just dropped, directed by Finn Wolfhard surprisingly: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0d_...
youtube.com
George Harrison - Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) [Official Video]
YouTube video by George Harrison
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/12/2025
‘You Hate To See That,’ Announces Fan Secretly Thrilled About Rival Player’s Injury theonion.com/you-hate-to-see-that-a…
‘You Hate To See That,’ Announces Fan Secretly Thrilled About Rival Player’s Injury
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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/12/2025
Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna theonion.com/inconsiderate-woman-on…
Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
“Did you like that necklace I got you? You don’t remember? I gave it to you last week. You said you loved it. You really forgot that quickly?”
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/12/2025
Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.
theonion.com
Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.
LOS GATOS, CA—In an attempt to fend off growing competition from Paramount and Netflix, Plex CEO Keith Valory announced Monday that the streaming platform had submitted a $35 bid for Warner Bros. Disc...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/12/2025
Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-…
Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic


Media Mogul Vows To Defeat Her Most Dreadful Creation
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Mason @themistermason.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
Happy Unhinged Victorian era Christmas card season...
Father Christmas blesses the holiday meatball. Deformed woman brings the drinks
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Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 02/12/2025
*you're
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/11/2025
Thanksgiving Conversation Devolves Into Just Stating Things Dog Is Currently Doing theonion.com/thanksgiving-conversat…
Thanksgiving Conversation Devolves Into Just Stating Things Dog Is Currently Doing
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Mason @themistermason.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
Every time I see this it always reminds me how great Rail Birds would be for a band name.
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Comics Outta Context 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @comiccontext.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition, Charlie Brown
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/11/2025
62 Years Ago Today:
62 Years Ago Today:
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