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Jed

@thelowestbitter.bsky.social
106 followers 211 following 396 posts

The international* superstar** and Glasgow’s favourite*** adopted son The Lowest Bitter - thelowestbitter.bandcamp.com 🏳️‍🌈 he/him

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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The issue with planning a 20-25 minute set of Charli XCX covers is that while she does have quite a lot of short songs, they’re not actually short enough for me to do the Springsteen-esque 30 song setlist I have in my head as that would require me to bash out a song every 45 seconds, and not breathe
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“Peel and reseal” is for cowards. Real men PEEL and then DEAL with the consequences.
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I keep seeing adverts for Cravendale milk who seem to have a massive marketing campaign at the moment, and all I’m thinking of every time I see one is Alan Partridge’s YOU CAN’T MARKET MILK rant youtu.be/l9RhXVTUAUs?...
youtu.be
Alan Partridge - Nothing refreshes like an ice cold glass of milk 🥛
YouTube video by Ed JAMAZ
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Maybe reductive to claim being happily married has made Carly Rae Jepsen’s music less interesting, until you realise her husband produced a big chunk of her new album. Also why do people make double albums it’s almost never a good idea.
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Yeah they’re all shite
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tottenham Hotspur Football Club
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No Score Draws ✍🏻⚽ @noscoredraws.com · 20/12/2025
The thing about supporting Spurs is, it's just awful
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
5 minutes
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Didn’t even make it half an hour before needing to repost this
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tottenham Hotspur Football Club
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
That new Troye Sivan single is honking I’m sorry
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
If you failed to get Charli XCX Glasgow tickets, firstly LOL, amateur, I got tickets EASY PEASY, but secondly, you should come watch me début Glasgow’s most misguided Charli XCX tribute, HARDLI XCX, on Halloween at Duck And Cover. Probably as good as the real thing! www.outsavvy.com/event/39264/...
outsavvy.com
DUCK & COVER 2026 Tickets - Glasgow - OutSavvy
Bum Notes present : DUCK AND COVER 2026Our annual COVERS BAND HALLOWEEN BALL is back from beyond the grave. . We may have lost our hallowed grounds of The Flying Duck but tonight, Matthew, we're going...
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
If you failed to get Charli XCX Glasgow tickets, firstly LOL, amateur, I got tickets EASY PEASY, but secondly, you should come watch me début Glasgow’s most misguided Charli XCX tribute, HARDLI XCX, on Halloween at Duck And Cover. Probably as good as the real thing! www.outsavvy.com/event/39264/...
outsavvy.com
DUCK & COVER 2026 Tickets - Glasgow - OutSavvy
Bum Notes present : DUCK AND COVER 2026Our annual COVERS BAND HALLOWEEN BALL is back from beyond the grave. . We may have lost our hallowed grounds of The Flying Duck but tonight, Matthew, we're going...
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
'im not complicit! im not complicit!!', i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Macklemore: Palestinian children are people. Robert Kraft *actively getting a handjob from a strip mall prostitute he refuses to tip*: We must ban this hate speech from every stadium in America. Let me call up my friends, the Epstein client list. Ed Sheeran: Good point, sir. Both sides, sir.
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I’m slightly concerned that for all the squad churn and money spent Spurs might not actually have a single good player
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
youtu.be/HmB6CfBL2FU
youtu.be
Armando Iannucci - Train Station Steps
YouTube video by Second Saturday's Warrior
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
The newest Johnny Foreigner song is my favourite thing they’ve released in about ten years. Always at their best when writing about human geography and fucked up cities youtu.be/Qt762Sxg17E
youtu.be
The Concrete Collar
YouTube video by Johnny Foreigner, Rock Band
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I’m not sure the words holistic and warehouse belong together tbh. Feels like signing up to do CBT at the wellness abattoir
A sign advertising a business called the holistic warehouse
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Not sure I’ve ever 100%-ed a game before and for some mad reason I decided Silksong was gonna be the one, and let me tell you Team Cherry are some sick fucks for making you do some tedious bullshit juggling minigame that’s harder than any boss in the entire game
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Back on my bullshit (putting in derisory low offers for a last minute gig ticket on twickets)
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
When someone as beloved as Dolly Parton dies it can really hammer home how insignificant you are, as an everyday nobody whose death will not occasion the grief of millions. Not for me though, I got that out of the way last night reading about the 7ft statue they’ve built of Magawa the land mine rat.
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Bankrupt @bankruptspurs.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
To be fair, sacking a manager because winning a trophy and finishing 17th is “unacceptable”, then proceeding to finish 17th with no trophy, then spending £400m and finishing 17th again, would be the funniest thing this football club has ever done.
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Spurs back on their bullshit
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I do not know why I thought this season Spurs might be different.
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No Score Draws ✍🏻⚽ @noscoredraws.com · 22/08/2026
Just gonna pop my next ten months of mental health in the hands of eleven dorks who don’t know I exist #coys
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Bilal Zafar @zafarcakes.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
♥️♥️ www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I’ve reread this a few times trying to work out what The Guardian means when using the word “consecutive” here, and I think I’ve cracked it. They are using the word “consecutive” to mean “non-consecutive”. Obvious really
Text from a guardian article about the Clacton by-election - 

“As well as the town of Clacton-on-Sea, the constituency comprises rural villages, farmland and several seaside towns and villages including Frinton, Walton-on-the-Naze and Jaywick, which last year was named the most deprived neighbourhood in England for the fourth consecutive time since 2010.

The three polls that Jaywick topped before 2025 were published in 2010, 2015 and 2019.”
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Guitars get acoustic sometimes, guitars get electric sometimes
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Every Instagram advert is like “we’re revolutionising [x] with this visionary new technology, we are innovators, disrupters, you will never experience [x] the same way, your new life starts today” honey you are selling a dishwasher tablet
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Hate to be referencing such a tired meme, but this is the most Torment Nexus-coded headline I’ve seen in a good while
Screenshot of a Guardian headline - “Safety fears as scientists make first viruses designed by AI”
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I know the single italicised o in the halfords logo is meant to look like a wheel in motion, I completely understand that is the intent, but I’m sorry but to me it still just looks like A Mistake.
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Stefan Mohamed @stefmowords.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
in Call Me Maybe, Carly Rae Jepsen sings "before you came into my life I missed you so bad", implying that the Canadian pop starlet doesn't experience time in a linear fashion. the subsequent line "and you should know that" implies she is frustrated with our limited mortal perception
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Horrible game all round from Argentina ending with players having an actual punch up at the end, thank fuck they didn’t win
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
If Jennifer Hudson had any integrity, she’d perform a CATS (2019) medley here. In full CATS (2019) makeup
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Every cloud
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Tuchel’s subs really fucked that let’s be honest
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Who is allowing Harry Kane to take free kicks in this day and age. We’ve seen more than enough
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Nirosta Steel album has good moments, I’ll probably listen to bits of it again, but no idea why it’s getting the raves it is. I guess I want an album to sound like somebody’s actually *made* an album, and not just compiled an hour and a half of noodling around.
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Fucking hell what a match
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
This is stressful af
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
What the fuck is this match?
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Big fan of the Paraguay keeper’s slow clap
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Zion Suzuki 👀
It’s a photograph of Japan’s very handsome goalkeeper Zion Suzuki. He’s wearing the pre match tracksuit and staring into the distance looking pretty damn hot imo
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
It’s definitely been too long since I played a gig because I saw someone I’ve been on the same bill with twice earlier today, and I gave a little wave and you have never seen a person look more bemused. There was not even a hint of “oh, better acknowledge that person I maybe half recognise”. Nothing
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Absolute SHITE bring back Southgate
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Doing a daily check of resale tickets for Robyn’s nowhere near being sold out Hydro show and the prices *are* gradually coming down, I just need to hold my nerve and hope I get a bargain on the day 🤞
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Not sure I can watch another hour and a half of the Ronaldo show 🤢
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
My most toxic trait is if I’m in a very crowded pub and someone else is getting the drinks in, and taking ages, I always think I could *definitely* be getting served quicker
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Jed @thelowestbitter.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
that’s so
A screenshot from the video of the slime green water spewing from a hose into a drain cover, I have put the brat font over the top of the green water, because I am still clinging to a 2 year old meme
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