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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛

@thejenlars.bsky.social
128 followers 412 following 1.5K posts

Interests include but not limited to: ChiSports (except WSox b/c gross), Iowa Hawkeyes, Cricut, museums and zoos, putting shirts on my dog. History and Anthropology double major now working at the hospital, usually at night. I should be sleeping.

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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 7h
Last weekend the a/c kicked on. Today I had to put on the heat. I'd say it's time to break out the flannel and hoodies, but I already did 🧡🍂🤎
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Preparing myself for the unpleasant first shift person to arrive...
static.klipy.com
Patrick Star's Zen Lightning Meditation
Alt: Patrick Star's Zen Lightning Meditation
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
3 different people signed up for enhanced incentive in my role tonight, and I'm the only one who wasn't canceled. #blessed #butalsotired #getthatbag
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Tfw you offered to work tonight but hope they don't need you
static.klipy.com
Spongebob Squarepants Begging
Alt: Spongebob Squarepants Praying
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 11/10/2026
Listen… people go through things… they have moments… even seasons That don’t make you less worthy of love or loving
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Me: I can probably make it through my 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep. Calendar: Hey, girl, remember you have a meeting tomorrow morning! Me:
static.klipy.com
Abell46s Cry: Boo from Monsters Inc.
Alt: Boo from Monsters Inc. crying
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I should be allowed to banish someone who sits five feet away from me and continuously coughs/sniffs/snorts.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Welp. ChiSox are out. I assume that's on me for kinda sorta rooting for them. Who's next?
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Dr. Wendy Bohon @drwendyrocks.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Oh crap. M 8.0 earthquake 14 km SW of Pitaloza Arriba, Panama. 33 km deep. Exact location and magnitude may change as we get more data earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
Map showing the location of the earthquake in southern Panama
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Mike Ditka was beatified in Chicago on January 26, 1986. He was loud and brash and mostly unapologetic, much like Chicago itself. He wasn't perfect, but he's forever Da Coach.
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MLB Scores @mlbscores.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Final: Guardians 9 WhiteSox 5
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I assume I jinxed the White Sox by being semi interested in a positive outcome for them, even if it was mostly motivated by my enjoyment of Chicago footage in the MLB's televised production
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Clouds wrecking the Draconid meteor shower viewing tonight 😞
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
There's a political ad with a supposed Marine vet who pronounces "corps" as "corpse" and I'm skeptical
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I honestly thought there was only one other Skarsgård besides Stellan 😳
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
If we're making a list to sterilize those who should not reproduce, I know where to start
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Looks at which teams are left in MLB postseason to determine rooting interest...go White Sox? Maybe?
static.klipy.com
Man's Disgusted Reaction
Alt: Tim Gunn's eww face
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Dan Thomas @itsdanthomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The most disappointing video you’ll see today.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
When did backpacks become ridiculously expensive?
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Trying to be less cynical. Maybe soulmates are an actual thing
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Ma'am, it is one in the morning. Please stfu
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Two kinds of guys: 1. Guys who think their dick is magical/think only with their dick 2. Guys who are normal Secret 3rd kind. Guys who worry they aren't normal
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's raining heavily, the Cubs are done for the season, and the 🍊💩 is still around. Not a great start, October. Get it together
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Weird that they're cutting the humanities, then
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Welp, might be time to get right with the Lord
static.klipy.com
Michael Che: That's Absolutely Terrifying on SNL
Alt: Michael Che: That's Absolutely Terrifying on SNL
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 30/09/2026
PURE FACTS!
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Hannah Vardit @hannahvardit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i worry that men think being A Good Guy is dramatically and heroically intervening on behalf of an endangered woman and then being publicly rewarded on a grand scale when actually being A Good Guy is just usually saying, “hey man that’s not funny” or “wow that’s fucked up” and there is no reward
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Ugh, the Cubs really are not interested in making a game of this, apparently
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JB Pritzker @jbpritzker.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm JB Pritzker and I approve this message.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
In the last 24 hours, in two separate incidents, spider webs and an actual living spider have touched my face. I know the road to recovery will be long and difficult. Please respect my privacy as I navigate this new and terrifying reality.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Love it when an effort is made after feedback is given. Love it more when the effort is sustained. We'll see...
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inthefade @ihavethatonvinyl.com · 28/09/2026
hey, i just want talk a second. you know how you really liked that 15 post thread about how people dressed in colonial times? and how you reposted every single post in the thread? just quote tweet the first one with "thread" and be done with it. ok? good talk
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
With all the rain, it's like wormageddon out there
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
By choosing to believe a lap from the end of my wing to the junction of two other wings is a quarter mile, I am choosing to believe I walked two miles. Uphill one way, downhill the other. Because Frankenbuilding.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Looking at next week's schedule, I have an appointment on Tuesday and that's about it. Lots of rain in the forecast, which hinders outdoor adventuring. I'll come up with something...
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Nice thing about working at the hospital? Don't even have to go anywhere to get my flu shot. Done and done. ✔️
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The Vampire LesMak @lesleynope.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The woman carrying the baby and food in the Giants game clip that went viral has written the full story of her marriage and what happened in the stands that night. If you’ve commented or shared any of the clips you also need to read and share her story themomoftheyear.substack.com/p/im-the-mom...
themomoftheyear.substack.com
I’m the Mom in That Viral Giants Clip. Let Me Tell You About My Husband.
You saw me carrying our baby and food. There was more happening in our family that night.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
New employee keeps crossing off telephone numbers to "update" them. It's a big hospital and most areas use multiple numbers, but knock yourself out. 🙄
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Stanley cup full of Monster. Refill halfway through the interview and bank the empty can off their wall into the trash (do not recycle).
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
At work, freezing to death. I am going to have to bring back my portable space heater. I can't live like this!
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Maybe it's a spider. Maybe it's my own hair touching me. Either way, it's dead.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Last year I discovered a local farmer who sells assorted colors and sizes of pumpkins at a 24 hour honor system stand, and it's taking all my willpower not to go there and drain my Venmo. Too early!
static.klipy.com
Pumpkin Pumpkins
Alt: Penguin witch with circling jack o'lanterns and the words "Happy Halloween."
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My mom was showering and there was a loud thump. My dad immediately went upstairs to check on her. And that's why I'm still single. The bar hasn't been matched. (She was fine, knocked something over.)
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 22/09/2026
"When my guests come over, it’s gonna be like BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air, and my house is full of mutant fucking squash." buff.ly/pykYN6f
buff.ly
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
For the seventeenth year: Welcome to autumn, fuckheads.
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
If your s.o. is leaning away from you in every picture, I'm assuming you're going to be single soon. Sorry about it
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
If teenagers could stop making bad choices, that'd be great
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Having to work for a living is some bullshit. Why can't I get paid to sleep and cuddle my dog?
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
So many people can't manage the most mundane human interactions when they don't involve screens 😳
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Shana @shanamd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I am SORRY for sharing something that was posted on the other place, but this is too good.
The future pope at a party with a caption “they don’t know I’m the future pope”
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🎃TheJenLars is a witch🐈‍⬛ @thejenlars.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Trainee from a few weeks ago apparently thought she needed to call somebody because a patient was in the news. Yeah, that happens, weirdo. When the concerned party is "transported to a local hospital for treatment," where did you think that meant, exactly? And how is the news your concern? Goofy.
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