iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 03/03/2026

For trans, non-binary, & gender expansive folks who need a soft place to land for a few hours this month and every month: I host Breathwork for Trans Liberation. Beginner friendly, recording provided, sliding scale (unlimited scholarships by request). www.tickettailor.com/events/thege...

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Buy tickets – Breathwork for Trans Liberation 2026 – Zoom

Breathwork for Trans Liberation 2026 – Zoom, Multiple dates and times - I created Breathwork for Trans Liberation in 2024 so trans folks could have a space where to be free from the burden of cisgende...

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 26/02/2026

There’s no “one way” to come into your identity! You don’t have to fit every stereotype of your gender!

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 18/09/2025

If you wanna read the answers, get on the mailing list here! bit.ly/TGDList

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 18/09/2025

Ask The Gender Doula is coming Friday am! 🤔 I’m interested in top surgery…what do I do? 😞 I don’t see my identity reflected around me. How do I process this grief? 🕊️ How can I connect to spirituality as a trans person? 🏳️‍⚧️ My facial hair gives me dysphoria, but I don’t wanna stop T. What do I do?

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 17/09/2025

Surgeons should be required to label BMI requirements as unverified personal gnosis (UPG)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 04/09/2025

This whole post hit so deep for me. I appreciate Amaya's coeurage and willingness to put this into the world.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 02/09/2025

two fun tips for T - eat more protein, drink electrolytes!

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 28/08/2025

okay this is so true. Or someone you're intrigued by or to whom you have an intriguing connection 👀

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 26/08/2025

Transphobia in any form is absolute loser behavior.

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Reposted by Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula

Lane Smith 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🤘🏻🖤🔥 @leftlanesmith.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

It's about to be the first of two New Moons in Virgo. Two #Virgo New Moons during a #Tarot Hermit year is significant. Tune out the noise, listen to your body. Virgo is an Earth sign. Mercurial yes, but still an Earth sign. Reality is tangible but not fixed. Whatcha gonna do with a flexible reality?

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 19/08/2025

What I love most about long-form tarot readings is the opportunity to feel into the story that the cards are telling...pulling on various threads but making sure to also weave the tapestry such that the querent received the medicine they need.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 19/08/2025

Damn I didn't realize how much I miss reading tarot.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 18/08/2025

Breathwork for Trans Liberation - where trans folks can gather to breathe, connect to their bodies and one another, and be held in a container of love and support. Happening tomorrow at 5:30 pm PT. bit.ly/TransBreath

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Reposted by Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula

neocolonial malcontent chic @azadirachta-indica.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

"devotion is [...] about knowing the heartbeat of a thing, so that we can still recognize it even as it adapts or adjusts, through different timelines and lifetimes." — @megjoneswall.bsky.social YES and we really aren't taught to understand this double-vision reality of devotion, culturally

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

If you're ready to learn new ways of moving with discomfort, pain, grief, rage, and all the different challenging emotions we're all carrying in 2025, check out Snake Medicine. We start September 8th, and it's going to be incredible. (7/7) payhip.com/b/n5vVp

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Snake Medicine 2025

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

In Snake Medicine, we work with a variety of skills around challenging feelings and experiences. We work with many different forms of grief and struggle and discomfort. We learn how to feel bad. In learning these skills, we create the conditions to shed our outdated skins, to grow and evolve. (6/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

Think about the last time you felt like shit. What did you do with the feelings? Did the way you worked with those feelings benefit anyone? Did it benefit you? There are many ways to work with discomfort, pain, and challenge. You can learn those skills. (5/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

Instead of being with our hard feelings, many of us instead dissociate first, then mindlessly consume. Most social media apps are very perniciously skilled in facilitating this form of coping, because it benefits capitalism and the parasites who benefit from capitalism. (4/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

Identifying something as a skill set means that it can be learned, that it can be taught. It's not some mystical innate ability that you either have or you don't have. It's available to you, perhaps with some effort. So most of us don't have the "feeling bad" skillset. (3/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

Chronic illness, grief, rage, surgical complications, sexual trauma, and transition have all taught me that being with hard feelings is a skill set as well, and frankly, not one that many of us have been taught. (2/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

Anywho, many things in my life shifted when I realized that so much of what I assumed I "should just know" how to do were actually skill sets that no one had yet taken the time to teach me. After I left my abusive relationship, I learned that "being okay" was actually a skill set. (1/7)

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

2 weeks into marketing Snake Medicine and I JUST remembered it needs to go on my actual website 🥲 payhip.com/b/n5vVp

payhip.com

Snake Medicine 2025

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 15/08/2025

@amayarourke.bsky.social is putting out the most incredible info/work right now and I bet you wanna read it!

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 08/08/2025

Now I know it happened in April so I would be ready to talk about it in September. If you are in a threshold time (and who isn't in 2025!!) and you need support with navigating The Underworld, join me for Snake Medicine. We're going to go deep, and we're going together. bit.ly/SnakeMedicine25

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Snake Medicine 2025

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 08/08/2025

"This is ✨so✨ Snake Medicine. Why is it happening in April?" My annual class about grief, death, rage, rebirth, change, underworld journeys, and threshold times is coming in just four short weeks. And this year, it's informed by that very specific, very intense near-death time I had last spring.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 08/08/2025

So earlier this year I danced with death more intimately than I have in awhile. It was unexpected, in that my surgery was "totally routine" and "the easiest abdominal surgery" and etc. But while I laid in a hospital bed with ice cold blood dripping into my arm, I remember thinking...

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

Today is both exciting, generating, fascinating, AND maddening, frustrating, and shitty. I know all the astrology and I expected it to be a rough ride but 😮‍💨!!!!! It's a lot to hold in one squishy body.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

💯💯💯😩 SAME. The struggle is real.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

Exactly. I'm so sorry that you experienced it too. I hope more and more people will start doing things differently.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

But I would rather trust people and be wrong than replicate the harm I experienced as a poor person who needed scholarships. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Even if I become abundant in material resources, I will never ask another human to pimp their trauma to me like that. For other practitioners - how do you do scholarships?

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

Everything is self identified. All I need to know is whether someone qualifies for an immediate scholarship or a wait list. I don't ask about anyone's finances. I don't ask about their identities. I do require anyone who wants a scholarship to email me. Yes, this means trusting people.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

I make my scholarships available first come, first served. In the past, I had racialized folks come to the front, and put white trans folks on a waitlist. This year, for Snake Medicine, I am having racialized trans folks come to the front, and cis people and white trans people go on a wait list.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

It was disgusting, extractive, and objectifying. And when I started to teach, I knew that I didn't want anyone to pimp their trauma to me in order to receive a scholarship. The system I came up with isn't perfect, but it has worked for me so far.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

I found that, instead of showing people my brilliance, the importance of my work, or my humanity, I was conditioned over time to show my trauma first. Instead of being valued for who I was, I was valued for the emotional high that these wealthy people experienced from feeling like they saved me.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

After I gave my little speeches or whatever there was always a reception, and there was always alcohol, and there were always people who felt very empowered to put their hands on me. The objectification of my mind, body, and story was literally palpable. It made me sick.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

I've been in very fancy rooms full of wealthy elites and celebrities while I talked about how hard my life was and how much their money made a difference for me. The largest of these scholarships was $10,000/year. Less than 1% of the income of most of these people. It felt disgusting.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

After years of successfully getting scholarships for my formal education, I realized that doing so had really harmed my spirit. Many scholarships that you can get, especially identity-based scholarships, require you to pimp your trauma for the emotional satisfaction of wealthy donors.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 07/08/2025

For all of my classes and workshops, I offer scholarships. This is because 1) I want my classes to be financially accessible and 2) I have benefitted from receiving many scholarships, and have used them for most of my education, traditional and non. But I do things a little different. Here's why.

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 05/08/2025

I have been gone but 1) I finished my book (rough draft)!!!!! 2) Snake Medicine is back!!! payhip.com/b/n5vVp

payhip.com

Snake Medicine 2025

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 04/07/2025

As I continue working on my Gender Rituals book, its starting to feel more and more like a transition grimoire. Which is...making me want to write an actual transition grimoire. 👀

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 25/06/2025

I am honestly SO DOWN!!!! Like Love Your Trans Self 2.0!

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 24/06/2025

My mutual aid raffle for Jail Support LA raised $426.10!!! I sent the final donation today and notified the winner 🥰 So grateful I could support my community this way, and so grateful for all who donated!!

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 23/06/2025

8 chapters written, 7 to go. 41K words down, out of a projected 80k total. I plan to finish the rest by the end of July, with the help of the transcestors and the gods! Draft is due to publisher at the end of August. 🪽🙏🏻

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Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., The Gender Doula @thegenderdoula.com · 19/06/2025

low key...don't let the door hit you on the way out ya'll!

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